II Kings 9:33 - Throwing women out of windows, followed by a casual lunch. That evil is easy to identify. Not so easy to recognize is the quiet fierce raging war in my heart as I face relationships where friends and family dismiss me or where I'm trying to understand so badly how to live this Christian life in midst of conflict. What wars in my heart slips up on me. And I wonder if I am trying way too hard to hear what God is saying and fit His ideas into a system that works for me. Trying to package God's voice, His Word, into what I can understand. Principles I can manage. That's not right. So what is my attitude this day as I face the Word of God? Is it that new attitude of suffering r is it to use the Word, to find a verse, to find something of hope by which to live? What about the confusion? What about the terror in my heart of facing more suffering? C.S. Lewis says: "We're not doubting that God will do the best for us. We are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be." Am I really listening to God or am I listening for nuggets to understand and manage well? Lord, have mercy!
It happened again. Must have something to do with the computer and not the computer operator---smile. We are in San Antonio for the weekend at Britt's district track meet. I published the post last night and it said published but it didn't work---same thing happened when I was in Dallas. I don't know what I've been doing wrong but here it is. Oh well, my short travels are over for a while so I'll be back home tonight. I left Blair yesterday and she was doing very well! Your prayers have meant much. I'll try to post about it on my blog sometime today. My gratitude to each of you---hard watching your daughter suffer and wrestle. Blair was amazing!
ReplyDeleteJehu's zeal for the Lord was formidable. However, he had a divided heart. What distracted him from wholly serving His God? Compartmentalized Christians, guard your heart against impurities. I confess I am among these--and pray this day for a whole heart in Christ. It's a big deal. Make no mistake. No room in a heart for God for otherness. Looking back to David who sinned, he had a whole imperfect heart that served the Lord alone. This is what God is looking for. Not perfection, but single-mindedness. Help me, Lord to exclusively serve You!
ReplyDeleteI can't wait to get back to church tomorrow. Our pastor emeritus, Dr. John Bisagnio, will bring the sermon on marriage. In my own life these past few weeks, I have watched so much love in action from my husband, and have renewed my own commitment to serve Mike better in action not just talk. Dr. Bisagnio's book is called "Love is Something You Do."
Bev you propose good questions today, ones that can cause us to have divided hearts in serving Him. CS Lewis's quote struck me hard. Right before I went in the surgery, I told the nurse that I wasn't scared of the surgery. I was scared of the pain. Sort of like the agoraphobic saying "I'm not afraid of heights. I'm afraid of the fall." What all we have to do to in going through God's best for us, even though we know it's God's very best for us, might involve pain, in fact, probably involves some pain. It's a fearful thing to fall into the Hands of the Lord, but there's no better place to be. Joyce Meyer and others have said it well--"Do it afraid." In other words, stay in God's Will, no divided heart, but march on even with trepidation, knowing and resting in His perfect plan just for you! And know His peace amid the horrible noise. Peace like no other. Peace that is inexplainable. Not peace like a pond. Peace like a raging river which has a beautiful Destination. I'm writing my own post today. Sorry so long.
Love each one of you. Praying for our hearts to be of one mind in Christ.
I had a weird computer thing happen yesterday. I wrote a long comment, and when I hit publish, I got an error and lost everything I'd written. Didn't have time to go back and rewrite it though. Oh well - not meant to be, I guess.
ReplyDeleteThe reading today so disturbed me. The evil and the plotting and the selfish ambition is hard to take in. It seems never-ending in this book. Am thankful for the 66 LL perspective on it.
I appreciated both your post and Annette's comment. These are questions that I've had. I appreciate you two voicing them.
Am I just trying to fit God into a system that makes sense to me? Am I using God to justify my own thoughts and actions? Why does it seem so confusing at times? What does imperfection alongside singlemindedness really look like in my life? Am I kidding myself that I am pursuing an undivided heart for God?
Why do I get so angry these days at little things? In some ways, it's really disturbing because these are feelings that I used to be able to keep inside. Now I can't seem to do that, and it is oh so messy! In other ways, I'm grateful that God is bringing this out of me, so I can't ignore the reality of the anger, hurt, and disappointment anymore. I have to face my sin daily and not pretend that I'm doing okay because no one else sees it. I see it and feel it every day, and now my husband does too. It's been a hard few weeks.
Thank you, Lord, for conviction of sin and for showing me what's really in my heart. Thank you for revealing the evil in me and forcing me to face the truth about myself.
After i read your post, I pondered on it and thought about it and prayed about it and lo and behold in my readings chronologically I came to the verse where David was asking God for an undivided heart and I prayed that again for all in my family. How I want to whole heartedly serve God and love Him and be all He wants me to be. Your post stirred up alot in me today. God is using you so greatly. Look forward to your post about Blair. Prayed for her this morning. Know that God has done a great work in her heart thru all of this and she will be a much stronger Christian. blessings on your week end...love you.
ReplyDeleteLarry Crabb mentions on pg 54, 66 LL: "The source of evil, My archenemy, did all he could to destroy that line." (Judah's) And we see in 2 Kings 11 how God once again foils the enemies plan. Athaliah, daughter of Ahab and Jezebel, kills the whole royal family...her grandchildren! Or so she thought! Joash, a "lamp for David"(1 Kings 11:36 and 2 Kings 8:19) had been hidden away in the bedroom and then kept for six years in the temple. The power of evil cannot stop God's plan. He will defeat the evil in the world and in me. (pg. 43 66 LL) Wish it could be without the pain!
ReplyDeleteBev, thank you for the time and prayers you put into this. You are appreciated!
So glad to hear Blair is doing well. Keeping her in my prayers.
FG
In the midst of all of this evil, God literally controls the outcome. I see that in Elisha and in Jehu and in the survival of Joash.
ReplyDeleteSometimes, in my own life, I wonder if God sees.
No doubt He does.
He works in His own way and in His own timing.
And in spite of all the evil in our world and in our hearts, I trust God to bring good out of all of the evil.
I have a rose in my front yard that the wind blesses me with it's fragrance as I sit on my porch. It is a blessing from the Lord.
I have family that loves me and cares for me. They are a blessing from the Lord.
I have food in my pantry and in my refrigerator. Each bite of cornbread I've had today, I've thanked God for. I'm so very blessed.
I think as I read this book of the Bible, I am more aware of the goodness of God.
Evil really does have a day of reckoning. But one day, God will restore His Kingdom of righteousness. Today, I am just thankful for the goodness He brings to my life.