45 - "The Grand Demand of Love" Exodus 19-20; Matthew 27:27-50

#45 - God wrote the Ten Commandments not to make us feel guilty but to lift us up to Himself. God wants to write his law on our hearts. We want to write it on our to-do lists. Exodus 20:20. Don’t be afraid. God has come to instill a deep and reverent awe within you.   

                                                      

          

Not Even A Likeness of An Idol

Not Twitter or Facebook or Ministry or Children

My friend, Larry, once told me that God had Moses write the Ten Commandments, "not to beat you down into self-hatred over never getting it right, but rather to lift you up into the liberating experience of looking bad in the presence of love." We are fully known, accepted, and loved even in the midst. Sinful Sinners. Glorious Messes.

We will, day-in day-out, feel hungrier for something other than God in our lives, at times.                    We'll never fully depend on Him and Him Alone!  So many signposts tell us we are off the tracks.  Do we listen?  Or do we rationalize?  Someone close to me said this week that going to church doesn't make you a Christian and that's oh so true. Since the pandemic hit, there are so many, many Christians who have not returned to church. The context of the conversation was about my father who never darkened the door of a church in his lifetime.  If you don't want Jesus here on earth, do you want him in the afterlife? My dad had a strong sense of morality from what I saw.  Does your morality save you?  No, but where did that morality come from?  10 Commandments draw us up and that makes us want to worship.  

Moses writes the 10 Commandments not to make us feel guilty about the do's and don'ts.                      God gives us This Word to free us up. Exodus 20:20 Moses spoke: Don’t be afraid. God has come to test you and instill a deep and reverent awe within you so that you won’t sin.”

God called Moses to walk up a sinful mountain. He had a big errand for the messenger Moses. The Maker of Heaven & Earth and all above and all below called out to a proud people who were not walking in holiness. God wanted to write His Law on their Hearts; we want to write His Law on our To-Do lists. 

This solemn sermon served this church in a wilderness resounding "to convince the Israelites (and our lives too) of their guilt, and to show that they could not stand in judgment before God by their own obedience. In the law, the sinner discovers what he ought to be, what he is, and what he wants." Matthew Henry. The sermon trumped the law. "In drawing near to God, we must never forget his Holiness and Greatness, nor our own meanness and pollution." MH We are a mean people.

The Israelites were not aware of their own sins ... and God spoke.  No one had ever heard anything like these Two Tablets of Truth. Sounds like God wrote to this day, as our own sins so deface our hearts, nd we do not name what we are doing. We don't name the idols that we wrestle with: Social Media. Children. Ministry. Success. Money. Recognition. Good Things. Anything in the heaven or anything beneath the earth ... or under the sea, anything that flashes the likeness of an idol and detaches us from our Maker. 

Let the manna rain down and expose our own hearts and name what we are doing under the sun that keeps us from a genuine Hunger and Thirst for God.

 Never in history has God chosen to speak like He did through giving Ten Commandments that envelop the intentions and thoughts and motives and demands of our lives. Someone once called it the  "Grand Demand of Love"—-it springs from obedience.  And to obey, may we have no other idols before---none in heaven; none in earth. God was before everything and we owe him everything.  God still speaks to us through His Providential hand, our consciences, His written Word but only two tablets once!  And we all have defaced the tablets.  And we get ourselves in messes.  I sit in a mess I have created today.  And yet, we all have clean slates for the grand demand.  Keep on loving each other.

PHOTO: Bob walking on Santa Rosa Island. A grandfather. A dad. A husband. A child of God. 

44 - "God Rains Down Manna Every Single Day of Our Lives" Exodus 16-18; Matthew 27:1-26

44 - Do we know God’s Presence only when things go right? God rains down hidden manna every single day of our lives. Exodus 17:7  

                                                                  

From Rain Clouds Fall Manna

I have spent much of my life denying the pain I feel just about every day. I had given over to way-too-many thoughts that I couldn't see God's Power in six miscarriages and rape and loss of finances and loss of ministry and loss of friends and I could go on and on. When things go wrong, there's that entitlement within me that says I need a break, deserve better. Enough, LORD. Here are these Israelites in that kind of a boat. God hears their grumblings, mine too ~ Exodus 16:9. He gives them manna---40 years worth. They couldn't horde it, couldn't hold it over. He forced them to go to sleep at night and trust that it would rain down the next day. He forces you and me to go to sleep this night and trust His Good Hand. Forces us to rest physically and spiritually.

Today, we may be doing exactly what we are supposed to be doing.  Then, in the twinkling of a blink, trouble knocks on our story.  A phone call comes.  An unexpected word from work.  And it happened to the Israelites when they pitched tent in a new town.  No water there.  And the grumbling commenced.  So, they default to stoning Moses with words and threats.  They would rather be back in Egypt with food and water than trusting God in the middle of a desert. Back in Egypt where God could take their life there but not here.  But This Providence has designed, allowed, charted cisterns that men fall into; wilderness that have dried up full; and friends who forget you in the dungeons of life.  Discontent makes us look larger on that past of ours and lesser in the present moment.  What is this that God will do here for us today---what is it?  

"Then said the LORD unto Moses, Behold, I will rain bread from heaven for you; and the people shall go out and gather a certain rate every day, that I may prove them, whether they will walk in my law, or no." Exodus 16:4

And we must answer the same question that the Israelites faced in Exodus 17:7 "Is the LORD among us?"

Do I look for His Presence only when things go right? He gives us the manna of His Word every single day of our lives to make our souls well. The comfort of the Spirit of God is Hidden Manna ~ Rev 2:17 ~ for you and me. 

Do I look this day for the Messiah of my own dreams, my own wishful thinking?  The drama of the first eighteen chapters of Exodus shows the lengths God must go in order to free weak and helpless people from bondage to an evil power greater than themselves.  God will detach you from  everything that numbs your sacred hunger for Him and makes you feel hungrier for something other than Him."  66 Love Letters.  Or do I embrace The Deliverer Who Has Come to Save Me a

PHOTO:  Walking the shore in Bridgeport.  Under the Mercy.

43 - Exodus 14-15; Matthew 26:36-75

              

Someone said Moses wasn't a geographer, he was a prince in a grant.  Mustered up hundreds of thousands of Israelites.  Marshalled in rank and file, right into squadrons by Divine Appointment.  And the followers, all 600,000+ pitched according to the standards.  Unbelievable!   The Israelites did everything the Lord commanded Moses; that is the way they encamped under their standards, and that is the way they set out, each of them with their clan and family." Numbers 2:34 !.  So, what's the point here?  It's our state in this world---moveable.  We pitch our tents and press through no continuing city.  May we live as fellow-pilgrims pressing on for the prize of Christ Himself and that future state of ours.  Pitch together. Press onward.

The Commentary of Matthew Henry said let's get above our fears and let them quicken our prayers but not silence our hope. They thought it would have been better if they had died, that's how desperate it can get at times.  Reach down deep.  Move upward.  Stand Still on the inside. "The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” Exo 14:14. Don't ever give up. 

Pharaoh and his army hurled into the sea.  The best of the best.                                                                  All because of our Defense.  The Lord is a Warrior.                                                                                   The deep waters have covered them and they sank to the depths of the sea. Exodus 15:2, 5.  And that meant this.  They could walk on dry ground across a piled-up sea.  

Getting ready to walk into an MRI and I have no earthly idea how claustrophobic me can do it.  I am walking in on dry ground in the depth of my dilemma.  

PHOTO:  Church of the Martyrs in Rome.  May we all pitch according to the standards set.  For His Glory, if I could tell you one thing, it would be this.  God is "with you" in your deepest problems.            He has been with me all the way these 75 years as I write and I've been through a bit.

42 - “God Is Doing Something For You This Moment” Exodus 12-13; Matthew 26:1-35

#42 Do we live on God’s terms or our own terms? When Pharaoh let the people go, God did not lead them through the shortest way lest they might change their minds. #60000thoughts #talkingtomyself

                                                       

This history is amazing.  God led them all the way here. And He is leading you to the place where you are today.  I think about the verse in Acts 17:26---God determined your boundaries. Beyond thrilled they intersected with mine.  All blessings come through the shedding and sprinkling of blood.  God is doing something new here as he delivered this people, and you and me.  The blood will be a sign that their houses will be passed over, delivered by the blood of the lamb. Exodus 12:12-13 ... “On that same night I will pass through Egypt and strike down every firstborn of both people and animals, and I will bring judgment on all the gods of Egypt. God have mercy on us if we find any idols in our hands---may we let go.  I am the Lord.  

Overlay The passover. Matthew 28:1-2. The Passover meal in the new covenant where Jesus drinks for the last time in a cup until that new day when He will drink with us in the Kingdom of His Father. 

When Pharaoh let the people go, God did not lead them on the road through the Philistine country, though that was shorter. Exodus 13:17.  For God said, “If they face war, they might change their minds and return to Egypt.” So God led the people around by the desert road toward the Red Sea."  Sometimes it is in the closet of the wilderness where God leads us.  Not the surest safest shortest route.  But the way that is close to His Heart.  The right way.  The will of God.  Who am I to question His way.  It's always the best way in light of eternity. 

God makes all things new to those He calls to Himself.  But that dreadful night, all were asked to come to God's terms, not their own terms.  Same for the day that we live for---we shall answer the greatest question ever asked of us.  May we live for God's terms not Bev's.  And the scene is this:  Three days and three nights in the horror by darkness.  Yet, the light broke a far more terrible calamity----their first-born struck by a plague that reached from the heights of the castles to the depths of the dungeons.  No one was exempt.  And that's how it will be on The Last Day.  May we live on God's terms this day.  

PHOTO:  God led our tiny little family all the way here. To the places where we live and breathe.  May we find Him there.

41 - "Can't Live My Life For One Day" Exdus 9-11; Matthew 25:31-46

Hey Kids, Set your eyes on this day to live! Most people live for when they graduate, or when they marry, or when they buy a house, or have a kid. Do't wait for that day. Live today.  Behold, the Hand of the Lord was even on the cattle.  Exodus 9:3.  And all the mean cattle of the Israelites lived, while the mean cattle of Egypt died.  Providence cared.  Pharaoh hardened his heart. And Providence hardened it furthermore.  Nothing like that to live so evil on this earth.  To live for this life only bows our heads to the temporal not the eternal.  An Olympic ice skater said tonight:  I can't live my life every day for one gold medal.  I live to give. Uncle Barrett said the same thing---you can't always be first but you can live your best. God's Hand is over all we are.  Will we submit not knowing the outcome.  Live for Today.  

Pharaoh didn't feel the plagues in his person. Now, he must feel them in his heart. Exo 9:15. All he can reply to so gracious a God is "tomorrow." I'll put this off so I'm not obligated to you today. But ...

This is the Finger of God. 

Exodus 9:19

PHOTO:  12/28/22 Spicewood, Texas. Wait! Where's Bristol?!?!?!?!?

40 - "Never Assign Tomorrow What You Face Today" Exodus 7-8; Matthew 25:1-30

And the whole river turned to blood.  And little Barrett stirred a pot in a party kitchen at a brand new friend's home---the kid was Eric, I remember.  "What are you cooking?"  And the toddler replied: "Blood."  And this momma was forlorned. What am I teaching my kid?  Barrett's reference was actually Exodus 7:20.  Barrett thought what God did was so cool.  Moses and Aaron obeyed God.  In the sight of Pharaoh, Aaron lifted his rod, smote the waters, and the whole river turned to blood. 

"See the mutability of all things under the sun, and what changes we may meet with in them.  

That which is water today, may be blood tomorrow." M. Henry. 

It is the rampage of evil that leads to turning our waters into blood.  

May we all live to obey because of the overall Ruler, not because of any Rule.

PHOTO:  Barrett in his element.  All grown up now.  Clouds hovering over him.  

Dear Children, Never assign tomorrow what you face today. “Tomorrow,” Pharaoh said. Exodus 8:10. Tomorrow, you can pray for me.  Tomorrow, you can set me free.  Tomorrow, you can send the plagues back heavenly.  But not tonight.  And I wonder why.  So puzzling.  So troubling.  So disturbing.  Yet, all we can deal with is our own things that plague us.  Call upon the name of the Lord, Today!

39 - "We'd Never Say We Love Success More Than God" Exodus 4-6; Matthew 24:29-51

#39 Do we love success more than God? What about better circumstances? Moses’ thoughts in Exodus 5:23: “From the moment I spoke in Your Name, things have gotten worse.” How many times in a day do we think: if I do the right thing, then life is going to get better? #60000thoughts #talkingtomyself.        

                                                                 

There were some places in Moses' heart where Moses loved success more than he loved God. Exodus 5:23 seems to be one of those places: "From the moment I spoke in your Name, things have gotten worse."  What does rescue look like? As I have become older, ahem, more mature, my definitions of Christianity are changing. I wonder if we miss being rescued a lot because we don't recognize it is actually God. I wonder how many times in our day that we think if we do the right thing, then life is going to get better. It may not...it didn't for Joseph not until he was 30 or so...

What circumstances riddle my soul this day?  Will faith be found among us?  The Kingdom is near!  I can wrestle with a Good God just like these disciples wrestled to find faith.  "I can live to give and not to grasp.  I can bring a taste of heaven to earth."  66 LL. Thy Kingdom come. Stay Awake. Be Vigilant. You have no idea when the Son of Man is going to show up. Matthew 24:30-31. The Arrival of the Son of Man will fill the skies---no one will miss that! Get Ready. his angels with a trumpet sound will pull in God's chosen from the four winds, from pole to pole. 

A Son of Adam, bothered by Satan, not only spiritually (like us all) but also physically.  Followers of Christ, not able to do anything about it.  Do the things of God rest on our hearts with deep conviction? What am I truly convinced of? How can the Truth be instrumental in our own hands of becoming faith in others? By our tiny faith, we will draw out from others the people God intended for them to be. 

38 - "Answer Him By Heart" Exodus 1-3; Matthew 24:1-28

#38 Can you answer him by heart when he calls your name: “Here I am.” Exodus 3:4 

                                                                    

Moses saw a burning bush but no humans kindling that fire.

Moses heard a booming voice but no face turning over words.
Moses saw no living Being but One burning in that white hot bush.
And that Being called Moses by name.
And that Prince called back by heart.
"Here I Am" replied Moses. Exodus 3:4
The Prince was found in the moment.
Right where he should be.
Am I?

 I AM THAT I AM.  Exodus 3:14. 

Self-perpetuating life. 

Self existent. 

Always the same. 

Incomprehensible. 

Faithful. 

There is none besides Me. 

All have being in Me. 

All wholly dependent, whether we know it or not. 

Holy dependent. 

Resolve to be holy not to try to figure everything out. 

I read the story of Moses and the Burning Bush to Barrett when he was 4 (here he is at 4).

I asked him what he thought Moses was feeling when he saw Someone in a burning bush.

Barrett replied:  Moses was feeling really good!

Barrett---do you think Moses was scared?  

No. No.

To not think about "fear" in that walk-up was beyond me.  

I knew I had a child who thought differently than I.  

When you are exactly where you are supposed to be --- that's a good thing. 

Do not fear, Bev. Know the Voice so you can call back to Him by heart.

Love that 4-year-old kid in this photo. 

PHOTO: December 1985.  4-year-ol Barrett.  2 1/2 year-old-Brooke.  10-month old Blair.

May they know the Voice so they can answer by heart:  Here I am. 

37 - "Am I In The Place of God?" Genesis 49-50; Matthew 23:23-39

#23 Am I in the place of God? Genesis 50:19. Dare I usurp the prerogative of God. (Poole). The concourse of Providence directs my story. 

                                                         

Joseph didn't skirt the issue with his brothers.  He nailed it.  You meant it for evil.  How often I soft soap the evil someone has done to me because of relationships and not wanting to offend.  Joseph named the evil intentions whether it be doomed to slavery or death. They intended harm by taking him away from his father.  But God meant it for good.  God designs good should come by whatever happens to us.  The concourse of Providence directs this story---and ours--- and causes it to work for good.  Always.  

Intrigued by last words, you hang on to Jacob's dying sentiments. Jacob speaks of Divine Providence taking care of him all his days. All his suffering days? Yes, his life was chocked to the brim with hardships, however Jacob is a "kept" man from the evil of his troubles.  God gives some and even  more to others. Trust in those hard places that it is all working for good. We are kept people. Kept from evil. Alive to Him.

Am I in the place of God? Gen 50:19. 

"Dare I usurp the prerogative of God." Get real. Matthew Poole Commentary

Dare I soften those who have hurt me by killing them with kindness. Be real. 

Dare I humble myself before people and not think of humbling myself first before God. Live real. 

Benson Commentary says: "Make your peace with God, and then you will find it an easy matter to make your peace with _____." 

Oh friends, think about your own experience with the Wonderful Kindness of your God and be persuaded  He will still befriend you, whatever you've done.  

Gen 49:6 "I want no part in my two sons' bitter feuds." If we really love, aren't we going to stand in the way (whatever that looks like---no formulas) of our children and say---that's not right with me and that's not right with God. And I love you enough to move into your life. What happened in Israel's heart? Why could he feel like he lost everything if he lost Ben and Joseph? Here is a man of God who is flawed. We all live with our depravity. 

Joseph closed the eyes of his father.

Perfect Rest for an imperfect patriarch.

We trust their same God, a Good God, who has brought us to this place.

Our God is always doing us good. A Higher Good than we know. An Eternal Blessing not earthly. More than mustering up the Kindness of his God, Joseph assuages his brothers that he is NOT in the place of God. "Do Not Be Afraid for Am I in God's Place?" As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good. Genesis 50: 19-20. With all of his forgiving heart, Joseph wants his brothers to fear God, not to fear him. Seek the forgiveness of the Holy God of your father. And oh! Verse 21 says that he did with such kindness. And a tear falls. This servant of God, who lived in prison for almost half of his life, encourages us through his oh-so-kind words spoken to set our hearts on things above. That race for the Prize. Even when the pain is overwhelming. 

Whatever you face this day, only God knows. Even in your own suffering, great or small, you are trusting the Good God of Jacob and Joseph who depended not on themselves in many messes they created---no, they depended on the One for Whom they lived. An imperfect Patriarch Jacob and his Honorable Son Joseph both closed their eyes in rest, knowing their calling, knowing their God.  ~ Their God will visit you ~ Genesis 50:24. He already has!

PHOTO:  Climbed up to this cross on a hill. In all our imperfections, may the course of Providence be so evident to us in our stories. 

36 - "Life Is A Pilgrimage---We Are All Headed Home" Genesis 46-48; Matthew 23:1-22

Jacob described his life as a "pilgrimage," meaning he was on his way to his real home---heaven.  Through all his days, he never lost sight, even in the midst of such sorrow.  Genesis 47:9.  Conniving brothers are treated differently here.  The true meaning of respect for what is right.  And Jacob, the patriarch, offers a blessing to the Pharaoh who has saved his life, his family's lives, and his world.  The Pharaoh who didn't believe Joseph and imprisoned him wrongly for years. The forgiveness abounds. May we live in the humble beginnings where Providence has placed us---and not seek to be someone else.

Do you want to stand out? Then step down. Be a servant. Matthew 23:11.

Intrigued by last words, you hang on to Jacob's dying sentiments. Jacob speaks of Divine Providence taking care of him all his days. All his suffering days? Yes, his life was chocked to the brim with hardships, however Jacob is a "kept" man from the evil of his troubles.  God gives some and even  more to others. Trust in those hard places that it is all working for good. We are kept people. Kept from evil. Alive to Him.

Photo:  Credit: Flickr.  All the stones piled high as a memoriam to a life well lived.  Jacob's pilgrimage home.

35 - "Just To Touch Your Face Again" Genesis 43-45; Matthew 22:23-46

Joseph allowed Judah to speak on and on, even though Joseph knew what had really happened.  Then, he draws them to himself.  All the markings of a beautiful repentance on Joseph's part.  "It was not you who sent me here, but God." Genesis 45:8.  The Providential hand of God.  And the perseverance of Joseph in the midst of loss, imprisonment, and betrayal.  Joseph never lost heart.  May we see all what happens in our lives as from God.

Jacob only wanted to go and see his long lost son, Joseph. 

Jacob didn't demand that Joseph come to him 

nor did he ask to go live with Joseph in all his Pharaoh's glory. 

Jacob just wanted to see his boy he thought was dead for how many years?

I just love that. 

Jacob didn't even ask a caravan of questions like I would. 

He mounted his animal in golden silence 

cherishing the opportunity 

to touch his boy's face, 

kiss him one last time, 

and bless the boy. 

It would be another decade of life for Jacob under his son's care 

but not in a palace.

When death is near, 

may I live this simple and true and kind to all of you children.

PHOTO:  Christmas 2025. Our last Christmas. 14 of us now. 

May I live simple and true and kind to you all.  

No caravan of questions.  

Just to touch your face once again.  

34 - "All Things Are Against Me" Genesis 41-42; Matthew 22:1-22

Here it is in Chapter 42. Jacob concluded: "all these things are against me." Genesis 42:36 He lost a young teenage Joseph; Simeon and Benjamin are now taken captive.  I know the end of this story but not my life's story. This story works out for good. Way too often, the plethora of things I think are against me, well, all those things are actually working together for my good and the good of all.  I just don't see the working for us of a weight of glory. 2 Cor 4:17. I wish I did.  But this I do know, it is the God Above who sustains my soul to wait for Him. In due time, our God will act. Humble yourselves under His Mighty Hand.

"It is not in me, God will give Pharaoh a favorable answer.’’ Genesis 41:16 ESV. That's Joseph's response to the Pharaoh who imprisoned him. "Great gifts appear most graceful and illustrious when those that have them use them humbly, and take not the praise of them to themselves, but give it to God. To such God gives more grace." Joseph gives goodwill to the Pharaoh and to the chief butler. What respect---both evil men. Let God deal with them. God has plans for Joseph and for you and for me for our betterment. Trust him in the dungeon. Even when the chief butler forgets you, once again, for two more years. Even when you think God may have forgotten. Trust in the dark days. 

Today is one of those for me I've been through cancer and rape and abuse. But nothing like what happened to me one Friday the 13th. Changed my life for the good forever. The eyes of the Lord run back and forth this whole earth to show Himself strong to any of us in dungeons or palaces. It's always within us to pull ourselves up by the bootstraps, but that's not life.  Providence is. And that's why Joseph chose to wait on God to be lifted up. Give to Caesar what is Caesar's and give to God what is God's. Matt 22:21. It is the Providence of God working in my life and I couldn't be more grateful although I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel. Am I living for resolution or a relationship? There is enough Light to live well for the next step. Give your moments to God---it's all His. 

PHOTO: Santa Rosa Island, Florida. I stood here a few months after that January 13th when I didn't know if I could make it.  Feeling forgotten. Alone on the beach. And an unknown lady sitting on the seashore right where I passed by, well, she walked right up to me and said:  "You are going to be okay."  Was it an angel? God sends hope along the way.

33 - “Forgotten” Genesis 39-40; Matthew 21:23-46

  #33 We must not think it strange in this world if slights are returned for our kindness. Live content to prove yourself innocent—-don’t upbraid others with their guilt.  Genesis 40:23. 

                                                           

More than a decade ago, a forgotten thing happened to me that changed my world upside down forever. I didn't think I could go on. God empowers us and gives us our very breath to fall forward and trust. The chief butler does nothing for Joseph. Genesis 40:23. “The chief cupbearer did not remember Joseph, but forgot him.” We forget about God. God never forgets. The Matthew Henry  commentary says: We must not think it strange, if in this world we have hatred shown us for our love, and slights for our kindness. See how apt those who are themselves at ease are to forget others in distress. Joseph learned by his disappointment to trust in God only. We cannot expect too little from man, nor too much from God. 

Genesis 40:15 is such a telling verse. A story in a tweet. "For I was in fact kidnapped from the land of the Hebrews, and even here I have done nothing that they should have put me into the dungeon.” Genesis 40:14-15. And I LOVE what Matthew Henry says about this verse: "Joseph does not reflect upon his brethren that sold him; nor does he reflect on the wrong done him by his mistress and his master, but mildly states his own innocence. When we are called on to clear ourselves, we should carefully avoid, as much as may be, speaking ill of others. Let us be content to prove ourselves innocent, and not upbraid others with their guilt." Matthew Henry Commentary 

Then, what maybe two years later, an opportunity to interpret Pharaoh's dream comes. Joseph interprets it right! Gen 40:23 - FORGOTTEN a.g.a.i.n. That's 3 major times...forgotten by his brothers; forgotten by the cupbearer; forgotten by Pharaoh. Joseph found something within those four prison walls that could not keep him bound. He found Peace. He found Rest. Am I looking for my circumstances to change or for my heart to find rest in the midst of my mess. Joseph found a good God who didn't deliver Him out of his prison...at least not yet.

There are longings in all of us for One Thing:  

       We are men & women in misery who want only One Thing
       Not relief from our misery (althought that would be nice)
       But HOPE ---
       Hope of Intimacy and Meaning and Joy Forever, 
       in Relationship with Our God
       Who is redeeming our story.                                       66 LL

PHOTO:  I stood here a few months after that January 13th when I didn't know if I could make it.  Alone on the beach.  And an unknown lady walked up to me and said:  "You are going to be okay."  God sends hope along the way.

32 - "Juxtaposition Yet The Working of Providence" Genesis 36-38; Matthew 21:1-22

Favoritism. Abraham and Isaac, his one and only son. Isaac and Esau. Rebekah and Jacob. Now, Jacob and Joseph. And Joseph's brothers hated him for the special treatment, the special dreams. But in the midst of the rift, it is Joseph who is arrogant and boastful. They were all broken people, just like me. Gen 37:24 - Joseph is thrown into a pit of no water while his brothers sit down to drink freely and eat unabashedly. That juxtaposition is simply striking; the foreshadowing is simply breathtaking. Gen 37:19. The brothers throw him into a pit and concoct a story about animals devouring Joseph and say: "we shall see what will become of his dreams." And we do. His dreams came true. Joseph will come to power and save the very lives of his brothers who meant to harm him forever. Their betrayal became the means for their survival. May it never be. God never intended for us to pick sides, to pick apart. Yet, always, the Providential Hand rules over. In my own life, I've played too many favorite games with people but it's over. And God's Providence is utmost our very life and protection. We trust.

More dreams...

Matthew 21:9 - "Hosanna to the Son of David!  Blessed is He who comes in the Name of the Lord! Hosanna in the Highest!"  And when He entered Jerusalem, the whole city was stirred up, saying, "Who is This?" The point is that a king would come riding upon a horse when he was bent on war; 

but he came riding upon an ass for he was coming in peace. 
This action of Jesus is a sign that He was not the warrior figure men dreamed of, 
but the Prince of Peace. No one saw it that way at that time, not even the disciples...
They were looking for the Messiah of their own dreams and their own wishful thinking.  William Barclay

Do I look this day for the Messiah of my own dreams, my own wishful thinking?  
Or do I embrace The Deliverer Who Has Come to Save Me and Set Me Free?

PHOTO:  We bowed our heads in thanks for our brothers and sisters with us that day and those who could not be with us.  Providence is watching over us all.  

31 - "Lift Your Eyes As A Signal" Genesis 33-35; Matthew 20:17-34

#31 Lift your eyes as if to signal through scores of generations: I am changed. I am both forgiven and forgiving. Genesis 33:5 

                                                                                     

"Esau ran to meet Jacob and embraced him; he threw his arms around his neck and kissed him. And they wept." Genesis 33:4. Jacob waited for this moment for decades, anticipating the worst. And when he heard the news that 400 men accompanied his estranged brother, what could he believe. So, what he sees is just a miracle of God. A changed life. The face of a betrayer is now the face of God to Jacob. Esau is now a man of patience and hope.  So curious to me that the fresh face of Esau didn't seek out his brother to make amends. Joseph, the victim, took the initiative. 

Whether it was restraining grace, redeeming grace, or resisting grace, Esau and Jacob met and greeted as friends.  There's no addressing the awful animosity.  They only outdo one another in showing honor through gifts and manpower.  The wrestling Jacob must have truly met with God who empowers him to trust in this situation of 400 men, of a sudden, escorting his estranged brother.  If Jacob had fears, he faced them square on.  Seriously.  What a story.  And in Gen 33:5, Esau "lifts his eyes" as if to signal throughout the scores of generations, I am changed; I am new; I am both forgiven and forgiving.  The echo rings to today's world.  I lift my eyes to the mountains from where my help comes from.  And I pray like that watchtower Jacob trusted in that we all be friends.  It's what I want more than anything.  I could only hope that people were not mad at me.  My arms are open wide.  I'll never stop trusting in this life.  And we will all live together in peace in the next one.  Written with tears streaming down.

Photo:  Castles crumble

While John in the Book of Matthew in 11:3 is still asking - "Are you the One we've been expecting or are we still waiting?"  John asks the question from a dark damp dungeon---a prison cell for preaching truth.  But it's Jesus' reply knowing the rest of the story that grips me this day.  "Go to the prison and tell John:  The blind see, the lame walk, lepers are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, the wretched of the earth learn that God is on their side."  We know the rest of the story in Matt 14: 11-12...John's head would be carried on a platter at Herod's birthday party at the request of Herodian and her daughter.  John wasn't healed or saved from a horrendous death.  John knew something I don't know as he wrestled through Jesus leaving him from prison cell to prison cell.  Yet John was free.  When I lost one of my babies to miscarriage, Elisabeth Elliot wrote me the words of this passage. 

Are you burned out with what God is asking of you?  Are you worn out with your life, your family, your friends, your ministry?  Matt 11:28-30 - "Come to Me.  Get away with Me and you'll recover your life.  How do you get away with Jesus?  He will show you how to take a real rest.   "Walk with Me and work with Me---watch how I do it.  Learn the unforced rhythms of Grace.  I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you.  Keep company with Me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."  

PHOTO: The city where I live I’ve spilt a few tears in these waters. And, then again, the loyal, faithful, dedicated Jacob acts irrationally.  Castles crumble.  People crumble. Something horrific happens to Jacob's daughter, Dinah, and he says nothing.  Nothing at all.  No voice. And his sons conspire wrongly with a loud voice.  Oh! the depth of our depravity. What does this mean for my life?

30 - "I Hope They Run To Us Like Esau" Genesis 31-32; Matthew 20:1-16

I love beyond measure Genesis 32:1 that says: "Jacob went on his way, and the angels of God met him."  And, Oh!  Jacob's response:  “This is God's camp!” And then, Jacob rides to welcome estranged Esau with gifts fitting for a king.  But, his betrayed brother, Esau, is coming to meet Jacob with 400 men.  Jacob just descended from the top of the world to the depths of despair cause of a number:  400.  Isn't the God of the camp bigger than 400?  It happens to me all the time.  I'll get an e-mail, or a perceived rebuke and I'm all over it---not in a good way.  Jacob may be distressed but he did something beautiful:  He divided his camp into two to take care of his people---for this potential danger was in response to Jacob not them.  And he prayed believing God would do him good.  Genesis 32:9. And he went to his Maker who holds the daunting power to hold back 400.  And Jacob wrestled with God.  And God touched this broken messed up life.  And the rest of the story moves with such sadness as Jacob's daughter was "used" by men while Jacob, now Israel, remains silent.  Even great men of God lapse back and forth into sin.  Even in the midst of Good. Where was Israel?  Where am I?

Oh! God of Abraham and Isaac, we are not worthy of the least of all the deeds of Your Steadfast Love, of Your Faithfulness shown. Thank you for doing us good, no matter if we see 400 in our face or four. Please deliver us from those who don't want to have anything to do with us.  And I say that with tears streaming down as I move back this month to a town where I felt great distance and rejection by those I loved.  I hope they run to us someday like Esau.  My arms are open wide. We want to see Your Face, O God!

And God says to me ... Can't I do what I want with everything that is Mine. Words breathed in Matthew 20:16.

 

PHOTO:  Free Christ Images photo credit.  "Constantinople."  Oh! To be touched by God and know it!

29 - "Give Me This ____ Or I Will Die" Genesis 29-30; Matthew 19

Sisters.  Jealousy.  Seems as though God has forgotten Rachel.  She goes 27 years barren. Genesis 30:1---the book opens with: "Give me sons or I will die." Who waits almost 3 decades for a child? Unheard of.  

A broken, beautiful Rachel. "Then God remembered Rachel; he listened to her and enabled her to conceive. She became pregnant and gave birth to a son and she said, 'God has taken away my disgrace.' She named him Joseph, and said, 'May the Lord add to me another son.' " Genesis 30:22. And it's a Rachel who holds no malice toward her sister any longer.  God added so much to Rachel's life.  God acts in behalf of those who wait for Him.  We wait for God, not man. Isa 64:4.

We all say it to varying degrees.
Give me this _______________
or I will die.
I have to have this______________
to truly live.
Genesis 30.

All we need is what God has provided.

Great is Thy Faithfulness.  Lord, unto me.  Live with hope, dear friends.  Unfulfilled desires.  You can still find the joy.  There are no quick fixes in life.  Live in hope on the narrow road, uphill and bumpy all the way.  The Spirit of God is moving in you quietly, nudging you toward God.  You don't have to have what you think.

“Teacher, what good thing must I do to get eternal life?” Matthew 19:16. Life is not about "doing," all about "being."  Being so in love that service flows out. It is not our service that God wants. Our hearts. Follow fully. The Gospel is the remedy for our sin-sick souls. 

Photo:  For 27 years, I've walked this shore. Long time.  Hold fast to those dreams God gives. The Gulf of Mexico. 

28 - "Could Be That God Was In This Place" Genesis 27-28; Matthew 18:21-35

 #28 - Very well could be that God is in this place, and I know it not. Genesis 28:16

                                                          

It was a full-fledged lie. Again. Rebekah took the very best garments of Esau's, skins of the best young goats, and the most delicious homemade foods and breads.  And she placed it all inside the palms of Jacob, her favorite. God never intended for us play favorites in this life.  What are you really saying when you communicate one child is "special," more so than the next? Genesis 27:15. Rebekah knew the blessing was supposed to go to Jacob so she jumped right in to make God's will happen. God does not need our helpfulness to bring about His Will. He can turn the king's heart like a watercourse. Prov. 21:1. He will.  All three involved in the drama manipulated to accomplish what they thought was good for them and others. 

Not only did Jacob cheat Esau out of the birthright, but Jacob has just usurped the blessing from his older brother with a little help from his mother. Genesis 27:36. And his mother plots to send Jacob to her brother, Laban. Rebekah will never see Jacob again. Although Isaac believes he is nearing death, he goes on to live 43 more years to the age of 180, according to Martin Luther. And all three in the love triangle must live with what they have done and the repercussions. The most severe response comes from Esau who wants the blessing back. He responds with the intent of murder. This is one messed up family. And this is the lineage that Christ chose to make his own, from the families of Jacob. 

I see and hear myself, bits and pieces, weaved into the story. I want the best for my life, for my children.  Even this day. Will I be driven to dependence on the Providential Hand of God on my life?

Meanwhile … Jacob has a dream. What sets us up for dreams? I wonder.

Frozen Shoulder set me up---I started having startling unspeakable nightmares, night terrors.
One night it was four in a row. Same theme: death.
The ingredients of Jacob's Dream: 
* a tumultuous journey; a guilty conscience; no place for his head *
A rock for a pillow. 
A ladder to climb.
God says:  I am Jehovah, the God of your father and your God.
I will not leave you until I have accomplished all the things I have promised to you.
God is everywhere upholding all things by His Power
and God was here in a special sense. 
A signal token of His Presence darting from the heavens.
Jacob didn't expect to meet God in such a place.
Remember Mary at Christ's elbow and she knew it not. John 20:13.
Now Jacob, God is in this place and I knew it not. Genesis 28:16.
May we find Him today between a rock and a hard place.

Overlay the New Testament:

What do I think deep within? How will I reason the matters in my mind today? What will I conclude? What will I firmly believed about my issues? Will I be strongly impressed and influenced by the Spirit of God? Matthew 18:35 - forgive unconditionally anyone who asks for mercy. 

PHOTO:  Walking the beaches of Santa Rosa Island praying Psalm 123:2 --- recanting and relenting and listening and lifting eyes to the heavens for help.  I must live knocking on that Door, no other.  

27 - "Live in Your Longings, Don't Bargain" Genesis 25-26; Matthew 18:1-20

#27 Live in your longings, don’t bargain. Genesis 26:1                                                                                                   

A bargain for a birthright. Genesis 26.

Esau owned the birthright by Providence---why wouldn't he want it?
Jacob longed for the birthright by Promise---why wouldn't he wait for it?
It was supposed to be a double portion.
A spiritual birthright of privilege.
A powerful birthright of excellence.                                                                                                           Jacob wanted the spiritual blessings but went about it in an indirect way.                                                    He knew the "smell of the scent" from his tents says M. Henry.

Jacob stepped into the opportunity that Esau let slip through his hairy hands.
"If we use ourselves to deny ourselves, we break the forces of most temptations."

Esau reasoned poorly---I'm going to die.
How many times we all are in "longing conditions" and
have to have what is right in front of us.
Better to die in longing then live in the disgrace.
I know that feeling thinking I have to have something. Preschoolers, like these sweet ones, know it all too well. They want what they see. Nothing else will please. And, —- I'm stuck in that moment. Live in your longings but don't bargain, don't squeeze out of it. Walk through by faith. 

Like these children. The greatest in the kingdom. Dependent. Trusting. Matthew 18.

PHOTO: A 3-year-old birthday party. 

26 - "Live Loosely With The Attachments of This Life" Genesis 23-24; Matthew 17

 9 - Live loosely with the attachments to this life. Our chief concern always should be: With Whom shall we rise. (M.Henry).  Genesis 24:1. Ask. Seek. Knock. Matthew 7:7

                                                                      

Live loosely with all the Attachments to this life.  Lighten the grip.  Don't be overly spiritual.  Seek after heavenly graces.  Pay your due respect to all, even if they are unworthy bad actors.  Happens every single day.  Those who have the least on this earth still have a grave.  There is a place of burial for each one of us.  Be content where you live.  We can find joy in unfulfilled desires.  Abraham lived contented to be a pilgrim in a promised land.  He lived more concerned about securing the place where he was going. Genesis 24:1 - blessed in every way.   

"The chief concern is with whom we shall rise." M. Henry.

Because One Day this will all be over.  All this worldly glory will be gone.

All these things we have cared about way too much.

See through the possessions and the physical beauty and the parades and the pomp.

See right through the facade to the Day we live for:

Falling Stars from the sky. 

Darkened Sun under head.  

Forgotten Moon failing to turn on the light. 

Powerful Heavens shaken to the core.

Appearing Son of Man---in the Sky.

Mourning Tribes of the earth.

Watchful Eyes see Someone coming on the clouds.

Sending Angels to gather His Elect from the 4 winds.

Will He find faith? A tiny grain of faith?

And a father in Matthew 17:14-15 sees the power of God in his affliction. What anguish of soul for a Dad to watch his son t.o.r.m.e.n.t.e.d. physically by demons. LORD, will you do anything?  Jesus replies in 17:21: With a tiny grain of faith, say to your mountain: 'Move Forward,' and it will move!  Nothing will be impossible for you.  

PHOTO:  Mount Rainier

25 - "Now, My Eyes See You" Job 41-42; Matthew 16

We are not the prosecutors in this life of ours. 

God is not the defendant. He is the king. 

May we learn to wrestle well; With hands over our classy mouths. 

With hearts right over our clenched fists. 

With heads held high over our cluttered minds. 

Then Job answered the Lord:
      “I am unworthy—how can I reply to you?
I put my hand over my mouth.
Job 40:2-4
And God answers once again.
This time from a storm.

Job's answer to his Lord forces us to deal with those existential questions: Who is God and what is He up to in Job's life; in my life; in your life.  

Job's Response:
"I have heard of you, God, by the hearing of the ear;
But now my eye sees You.  Job 42:5-6

Therefore, I 
Retract and I
Repent in Dust and Ashes.
When God comes up from behind and we sense His Presence
When God comes up through strangers unaware
When God comes up within and we know His Goodness,
When God comes up to surprise us to uncover His Goodness ...
and we learn that
We are not the Prosecuting Attorney.
God is not the Defendant. 
Nor does He need us to defend Him and
pretend that all is well even though He has allowed suffering.

"God extinguished all the lights that had been guiding Job on a pleasant path through life, in order to gain entrance into Job's heart with Light of His Presence."66LL Are we mad that God has nudged us off the pleasant path? There is only One Source. There is only One Light.  We want God to undo all our problems and steer us back to that pleasant path. But, God is uncovering His Beauty, His Presence in you and me.  So be it. Amen & Amen. 

How about you? Who do you say that I am? Matthew 16:15

PHOTO: A storm brewing in Pagosa Springs where we were met with God's Grace. July 3, 2023 

24 - "Where Were You When I Laid the Foundations of the Earth?" Job 38-40; Matthew 15:21-39

And God speaks out of a whirlwind. To his child who lost 10 children. To his child who lost his health. 

To his child who lost his community. He sent a whirlwind not a spa. 

And God asks Job five dozen questions! "Who is this that darkens counsel by words without knowledge...Job 38:2; Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth?" Have you ever commanded the sun to rise and the morning stars sang? What am I doing in this little life of mine? Do I live with the awareness of a very Present God holding all things together, even me. Do I live with expectations for God to show up in soft whispers to a broken world. Do I believe that the abundant life of John 10:10 holds expectations of my own thinking. This is A God Who shows up in a whirlwind to a hurting, broken son of God. Nothing soft about this. Help me to see the reality of what stirs in the Whirlwind of my own soul this very day. Help me to see my own sin of demandingness that YOU come through for me. Give us eyes to see and ears to hear the Sound of your Voice from the Whispers to the Whirlwinds and all in-between. !

23 - "Listen for the Sounds of God" Job 36-37; Matthew 15:1-20

                                                          It was the Sound of God that I heard 8 years ago 1/13/2006. Never have I ever been more persuaded and convinced by a very Good God Who allowed some suffering in my life that has turned into way more good than I could have ever imagined. Look at where I am today. That Great Divide was the best thing that ever happened to me. At the time, I literally thought it to be the worst. And I spiraled down into a depression that I never knew even existed. And my God showed up in my life like never before. 

When I told Beth Moore at a conference what had happened, she replied to me: Ezekiel 8:3. God has yanked you by the head of your hair and lifted you up. Go. 

And everywhere I turned, people would share with me Jonah 2:8. I'd turn the radio on and they would be talking about it. I'd go to church and it would be in the sermon: do not miss the Grace of God passing you by. 

Listen to the Sounds of God. 

Keep listening for the Thunder of His Voice, Job. Job 37:3. 

Job is listening but he doesn't hear---and he needs to ask himself why he is not hearing the Sound of God. We all need to ask ourselves today: do we hear the Sound of God in our lives? Elihu is about to hear That Thunder too. 

"It is no surprise that the Bible uses hearing, not seeing, as the predominant image for the way human beings know God. They can't walk around God and take God in like a cathedral or an artichoke. They can only listen to time for the Sound of God---to the good times and bad times of their own lives for the words God is addressing to, of all people, them." (Frederick Buechner, Beyond Words.) 

Matthew 15:18 - "But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person. For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander."   Incurvatus in se----Latin for "curved inward on oneself."

PHOTO: A whirlwind.

22 - "If God Is Silent" Job 34-35; Matthew 14:22-36

The ears test words like the tongue tastes food. Job 34:3-4. Let us discern together what is right and learn what is good. May we all listen to words that matter for our lives. Job 34:29 "if God is silent" ... then what? What stirs in you as we read chapter after chapter after chapter about a man who lost his 10 children? Job is trying to make sense of his suffering. Suffering with no explanation. Elihu explodes cause evidently the older generation should make sense of it all. What's his pull? What stirs in you? I keep thinking about how Job and his wife lost their 10 children and I wonder what God is saying to Job in his silence? I keep thinking of a very old quote: "The first step to sanctity is self-knowledge." Job is wrestling with what is really going on inside of him. "If we stay within the darkness, stick close to the Cross, through death we will come to know the God Who reveals Himself in the process of dying and renewal." Something beautiful is happening to Job on the inside. We know that because we know the rest of the story. Am I staying within my own darkness, sticking close to His Cross, and dying to my pride and fears so that He may reveal and renew my spirit. Have mercy on us, O God! God is speaking through His Word. What matters more than listening and living. It seems strange as we read this story that Job's friends could not see what was going on inside of their hearts. God spoke directly to their hearts in those days. They had no Word of God; held no pages to turn. How far was Ur from the Garden of Eden? How many stories had been passed along since Creation? All we know at this point is the Creation Story, Adam & Eve, Cain and Abel, the Tower of Babel. And then, a righteous man, in a far off city of Ur. A man accused of saying "my wound is incurable, though I am without transgression." Job 34:6. Where on earth was the compassion of these men? I mean, he lost 10 children. We are not punished for our sins. And there is truth in Job 32:8 that it is the spirit in man, the breath of the Almighty, that makes man understand. O God, help us to understand, to know wisdom, for the place where we sit this day. May we fall to our knees in prayer: Jesus climbed the mountain so he could be by himself and prayer alone into the night. Matthew 14:23.

God is at work among us 
This Very Present Hour
and we may have no idea what He is up to.
Isn't He looking for our faith?
Bring me those who are sick
And I will heal them...
they need only touch the Hem of my Garment
Matt 14:36
I cannot touch a hem without Faith
that God is going to be Present and

work a work of faith with Power.

 

PHOTO:  Taken at a sultry sunset over Santa Rosa Island as I contemplated what trumps all this suffering.

21 - "Better to Fall Into the Hands of God than Man" Job 32-33; Matthew 14:1-21

Oh, the Grandeur of what God has done on this earth and in our hearts.

Oh, the Arrogance at what we have thought we could have done better.

Job 33:13 ~ Why is Job complaining about what God is doing?

There are parts of this story about Job and his fair-weather friends that are simply so sad.  Here's a man who has lost his 10 children. Lost his good health.  Lost his community.  Job does not even have one child to console him about the death of the others.  There are no words in the English language to communicate the extent of this devastating loss.  No Words.  Instead!  An Accusation of his sin:  ~ Job 34:36 ~ It appears that Job needs to be tested to the utmost for answering and questioning God but that is not the rendering of these words. God shows "the Satan" which is a position not a person, that here is a man who loves God. Job loves God for Who He is. He has every earthly reason to give up. He has all of God to hang on to. Look at what is not being said: Job is not cursing God; Job is not asking for blessings. This story is all about restoration not about sin. And the words of David fall into play:  It is better to fall into the Hands of God rather than into the hands of men (Heb 10:34). Job knew that. He was imperfectly fully committed to God and God knew it. God treated Job with utmost respect and "personal sentiment"---Job is  "my servant." 

Why can't we fall forward into Loving Arms and speak our heart?  God will make us aright.  He will set us back on our feet again.  He will make all things new. Our God, this very moment, is knocking on the door of our hearts---a progressive move, Rev. 3:20.  Why won't we listen?  God is Powerful, Omniscient, and Good in our darkest days.  Trust.  How can we not?  To Whom else shall we go?  To What else this day?

And there is truth in Job 32:8 that it is the spirit in man, the breath of the Almighty, that makes man understand. O God, help us to understand, to know wisdom, for the place where we sit this day. 

PHOTO:  The Grandeur. Washington State. Where my husband grew up and found God. 

20 - "What is The Measure of Your Expectations" Job 30-31; Matthew 13:31-58

20 Do I measure my life by my expectations of God? Love or Loss? Job 30:16

God did not forget to set the sun in the sky this morning or

close it down this evening.  

He has never forgot to be good to us.

It's just His Nature.  

In his myriad of struggles,
Job asks the same question that St. John of the Cross asked
when John faced ridicule, banishment, and suffering.
Where did you go, God? Are you hidden from me?
It's not an avant garde Christian question to ask in our day.
Your friends will think you lack faith.
Your family will question your stability.

But Job said it too:
What about the day
When the Almighty was yet with me. 
And my children were still all around me.
Can we go back to the good days?

I remember saying on the day I learned that I had cancer:
I liked the way my day started but not The End of the day.
So, what's the measurement for us? 
Was Job or John or even my statement aware of God working.

But the day of Affliction has seized me.
Job 30:16
And do we pound on God's door with questions?
What do we need?
Where is God?

We must desire what lies beyond our thoughts, our imagination, our good minds.
Desire will get us to God.  What prepares our souls better to find God again?
Our desires.  We desire too little.
"Growing means expanding our expectations;
or rather, making His Generosity, not our poverty,
the Measure of our Expectations." Iain Mathew The Impact of God.

Job still measured his life by his devastating losses.  Do I?

19 - "God Is An Earthquake" Job 28-29; Matthew 13:1-30

#19  Our experiences are not the means to find God---they are the context in which we find God. 

Job 28:23 "God Alone knows the Way to Wisdom." Job 28:28 "Here it is! Fear-of-the-LORD----that's wisdom , and Insight means shunning evil." Am I shunning evil or am I slapping its wrist like it was a naughty thing to do? 

I first read the quote from Abraham Heschel when we were going through a hard time back in F.W. "God is not nice. God is not an uncle. God is an earthquake." 66 LL says the world of Christendom does not want to believe that. "Am I willing to die to my blessings as my source of life?" Dead to self. Alive to God. 

LORD make us all come alive to You as our Only---One and Only---Source of Life. My desires for righteousness, 2 Thes 1:11-12, are good and right but how to get there in this life must be reckoned with. I am not on the path for God to relieve all my suffering. 

I hadn't seen Larry in a while and saw him in North Carolina. The first words out of his mouth to me:---"We aren't here to talk about your cancer, Bev. You may meet Him before I do (Larry had cancer too and he is actually with Him tonight). We're here to talk about the Beautiful God in you that is using that struggle to uncover a rest in you. We're here to talk about God and what He's up to in you." Our experiences are not the means to find  God---they are the context in which we find God. 

It's the stories that nudge us to a welcome awakening. Matthew 13:13. 

It's my story that has provided the context of knowing God.

PHOTO: Rockport, Texas. Walking on the shore, thinkingbout God and how we can even come close to understanding an all-present, all-knowing God. a

18 - “Hold Fast, My Righteousness” Job 25-27; Matthew 12:24-50

                                                 

Job isn't recognized anymore by his friends or his community.  Job's reply:  Job 27:2 “As God lives, Who has taken away my right, and the Almighty, who has made my soul bitter, as long as my breath is in me, and the spirit of God is in my nostrils, my lips will not speak falsehood, and my tongue will not utter deceit."  

No hierarchy in God's Kingdom.  No big people and little people in Job’s day.  We are all his brothers and sisters and mothers. Jesus says in Matthew 12:49 that obedience is thicker than blood. Who are my mother and brothers? Not the hierarchy in the world in which I live! ... where I am not recognized nor sought after—-I feel forgoten and invisible most days ... but in God's Kingdom His Pursuit of me is relentless, inexpressible, incessant. Live to love not to be loved. Live to serve not to be served. 

Job 27:6 "Hold fast, my Righteousness." Hold fast, my Friend. As long as breath is in us. What is our hope when God cuts us off?  This we know, the Almighty is always doing us good, even in suffering.  Hold fast! Those two words mean a great deal to me. My counselor, Bruce, for 3 years frequently ended with “hold fast.” It’s what I remember. It’s a beautiful theme to live by. Hold Fast. I think of my bff Nancy who lost 18-year-old Drew in a tragic auto accident. That’s what she has done—-held fast to Him all the rest of her days. 

PHOTO:  It's one of my favorite spots on earth.  We are headed there on Friday. Clear Lake overlooking Mount Rainier.  And my heart h.e.r.e. overflows today as I bid my spot farewell and Turn Around to face some problems that I cannot articulate.  Overflowing with gratitude for I am more persuaded, more convinced, more oh-so-sure, that my God is fighting for me in Untold Unseen Ways