74 - "Caleb Had A Quiet Heart" Numbers 12-14; Mark 14:27-53

Numbers 13:30 - Caleb quieted the people because Caleb had a quiet heart.  Oh to live amidst the noise in quietness and confidence.  Isaiah 30:15

The people complained in their wilderness.  Do I allow my circumstances to reveal what I am really saying about what God has done or not done? 

"Return, O LORD, to the ten thousand thousands."  Return, O LORD, to us, ten thousand thousands across this spacious land of ours who call upon Your Name today.  May we press in hard and humble to find You in our million midst. 

O God, help us today to trust not like a Hobab but like a Humble Traveler in this story of ours.  The brother of Moses' wife planted his feet firm like a toddler spouting:  "I will not go.  I will depart to my own land to to my kindred."  Moses pleads with him:  "Come with us, and we will do good to you, for the LORD has promised good..." And they moved on in Numbers 12.

Sometimes, we'll invite people into our lives and they just won't come with us.  Even family.  I think the problem lies with me when, actually, the problem is their own heart.  Their problem is not me, it's God.  I'm just an agent at the ticket station.  May we let God use us as He will and not play the Holy Spirit in people's lives. 

I need to find my own Rest this day.  "Rest with us, God.  Stay with us." 

"For without You, what am I to myself but the Leader of my own destruction?" Augustine

Return, O God, to us all. As I read Mark 14, I may need to return to God. It's the distance

In Mark 14:72, there are two words I have never seen before:  Peter swore.  It's not something we are proud of when we breathe those hackneyed humphs.  My default mechanisms swore all-the-time when I was really young and didn't know the LORD.  But---this---this Peter is a follower of the Christ.  Wonder why Peter distances himself so much from the One he has been so attached to, every-single-day, for one thousand+ days, seeing with his own eyes one miracle-after-another. Watching Tabitha healed back to her mother's arms, witnessing demons cast out-of-control into a herd of pigs, seeing a blind man see for the very first time, hearing the scream of the Widow of Nain whose son rises from the dead,and on and on and on ... .  Unparalleled.  Unprecedented. Unbelievable. Yet, Peter swears to prove his piddly point.  And, really, what point am I trying to prove this day?  That I'm right?

And what happens as the rooster crows---Peter remembers.  Remembers what?  The words of his very own Christ---you will deny me and leave me.  It was Peter who pulled away, just like me and you.  God is always waiting wide-armed open.  We are all holy Sabbath breakers picking up sticks (Numbers 15:32).  A high-handed act in the middle of community---do I do the same things?  Playing it safe, distancing ourselves from life because the pain is too overwhelming.  

     "Recipe theology, that collection of practical biblical principles that tell us what to do in every situation, treats confusion as something to be solved rather than entered. It reduces the mysteries of life to things we can manage."                The Silence of Adam p. 66

PHOTO:  My good friend, the art teacher, painted this picture in 15 minutes in Chapel.  She actually painted it vertically then turned it horizontally when she was finished.  So poignant.  Jesus paid a price for us to truly live.  I must learn to live.  Live that quiet life apart from the noise.  

73 - "Never Live On Old Manna" Numbers 9-11; Mark 14:1-26

#73 Never try to live on old manna or replace it for better. Nor seek help in Egypt. “All must come from Jesus or you are undone.” Spurgeon 

                                                                         

The rabble!
Craving other things.
Numbers 11:4-6.
"If only we had . . . "
"We remember . . . "
"But now . . . "
Lost my appetite
Never see anything but manna.

Here's the truth . . .
"Never try to live on old manna, 
(and never try to replace it for better),
nor seek help in Egypt.
All must come from Jesus or thou are undone."  Charles Spurgeon

More than ever, I want to move only when my God tells me to move.  Live on what He has provided. Just like the woman who poured the extravagance over her LORD, Mark 14:6---"She did a beautiful thing for Me."  My world may not recognize the beauty but my God loves it...and He says to my world:  "Leave her alone."  Yes, leave me alone, o world of mine, for I am taken up by a Good God Who loves me so.  So taken up with His Beauty!

PHOTO: A photo I took of my version of the rabble. 

72 - "God Matched Their Offerings with His Audible Voice" Numbers 7-8; Mark 13:21-37

#72 The Lord matched their magnanimous offerings with his very own Audible Voice. Buechner says: If I see you, I experience you as an object in space. If I hear you, you bring me into the innermost secrets of who you are. 

                                                                          

In Numbers 7, every tribe brought magnanimous multiple offerings alike to dedicate the altar.  Whether the tribe was large or small, they brought the same equal weight, equal size, to show their acceptance by God was not based on the quantity of their sins but the quality of the sacrifice. Silver plates; shekels numbering in the hundreds; sprinkling bowls galore; sacrificial livestock proud.  And the Lord matched this grandeur with his very own Voice.  Audible words from The Living Word.

If I cannot see you and can only hear you, you exist for me not in space but in time where hearing happens. If I see you and can walk around you, I experience you as an object—-I can inspect you from all angles. Buechener says something of extraordinary importance occurs when I more fully take you into myself by hearing you. “Hearing you speak brings me by the most direct of all routes something of the innermost secret of who you are.”  Buechner, Frederick Whistling in the Dark

Stay Awake.  Mark 13:27.  Jesus is coming back to gather His elect from the four winds.  What we do matters only inasmuch as who we are.  We can outserve everyone but if it is not coming from a good place in our heart, it's clanging cymbals. Stay Awake becoming the person God created you to be. 

PHOTO:  I heard an audible Voice one day as I walked this very beach.  A young lady stopped my stroll and said:  "I came up to this beach to read my Bible.  And God just told me to stop you and tell you that this thing you are going through is from Him.  He is with you.  You are going to be okay."  She could have never known.  I faced the biggest crisis, the Greatest Divide, of my life.  And matching the grandeur of the skies and sea, I heard an audible Voice from a mouthpiece of God. More than a match.

71 - "Put God's Name on Every Face" Numbers 5-6; Mark 13:1-20

#71 Put God's Name on every face you meet. Numbers 6:24-26. The Lord bless you and keep you. Covers all your work here on earth. No conditions. May God lift His Face on you: a gracious movement of God toward you. #60000thoughts #talkingtomyself

                                                          

This.  The words to bless your people, to put God's name on their faces.

Say this.

The Lord bless you and keep you;

the Lord make His Face shine on you and be gracious to you;

the Lord turn His Face toward you and give you peace.  Numbers 6:24-26.

The blessing is for every journey of life.
Israel prepares to leave Mt. Sinai and journey through a wilderness.
It's the story of our lives. 
"Bless us where it counts" - the word "bless" covers all the work here.  No conditions attached:  both physical and spiritual health.
"Keep us safe" - the word "keep" focuses on concerns for safety in our travels.  God will shelter us well.
"God's Face" - the word "Face" - The Light of God contrasts the darkness not far from our view.  We will see so much darkness.  May we see the Shining Face of God on all we meet on this journey.
"Lifting Up" - the word "Lifting Up" is a gracious movement of God toward us; and it's God gracious moving through us.  Lift up your Light and shine on this world here.  And give us all peace.  And God says:  "I will bless these people." 
"Put God's Name on the people" - the word "putting God's name on" comes supremely by means of the Word of God.  May we wear God's Name so that all we meet will see and believe.  And may we put the Name of God on every face we see for you carry His Name. Mark 13:10. You are placed in front of that person as a sentinel of truth. The Message has to be preached. 
For all our days.  

PHOTO: Our church. At The Arboretum. Putting God's word

70 - "Step Into Your Calling Even If the World Recognizes You As Returnable" Numbers 3-

#59 Step into your calling even if the world might recognize you as returnable. Numbers 3:34. #60000thoughts #talkingtomyself

Numbered.  Assigned.  Appointed.  The total tribe of Levi is in place.  The able-bodied soldiers ready.  The organization is impeccable.  "The Merarites were but 6200 in all, and yet of these there were 3200 serviceable men, that is, more than half." Numbers 3:34.  Soldiers were called at 20.  Ministers were called at 30---an honor for those more in the prime of life. May we step into our calling even when the world may recognize us as returnable. I feel that way from the church community at large---not worth much anymore. I certainly feel that way from the medical field---it happened after we hit 70. Just my perception. I may be wrong. 

One commentary said that "the least of the tribes had almost four times as many able men as the Levites, and some of them more than eight times as many.  Matthew Henry's commentary says the application for today is that there are way more of those engaged in the service of this world and warring after their flesh than those who are devoted to the service of God and fighting the good fight of faith. The road is truly narrow and the followers are few.  Walk the narrow road.

Mark 12 answers the question how to walk the narrow road. Controlled by the love of God---it's the motivation that makes us give, live, love. It is not an act of our will.  It is a transformation of the motives of our heart. What really resides in us as we try to be good?  My thoughts give me away.  

Are we striving really hard to be good so God will bless us?  Yet, inside rumbles and rages cruel thoughts, comparing ourselves to others, conclusions that we are never sure about ourselves or we're good enough.  Self-obsessed.  

It is not about applying the moral law to our hearts through an act of our will.
Far too much we are striving to be good, live good, act good.  

       No man knows how bad he is
        until he has tried very hard to be good.  C. S. Lewis

We are rescued from ourselves.  
Safe.  Secure.  
New Motivation...
The Motivation of Gratitude... 
for it's the Spousal Love of our God 
that transforms us to love with all of our heart & soul & mind & strength.  
So how can we find that kind of Strength to live and love this day from our heart & soul & mind & strength?

PHOTO:  A Roman mural on our Latin class trip to Rome.  I cannot fathom mustering 600,000+ and yet, they fight the good fight with less than their neighbors.  And they maintain order.  And this is phenomenal.  And this is God. #love #validation

69 - "Moses Was A Prince in a Grant" Numbers 1-2; Mark 12:1-27

#69 Moses was a prince in a grant. Marshalled in rank and file. Moveable. Pitch your tent and pressd on. Pressing on for the prize of Christ Himself and that future state of ours. #60000thoughts #talkingtomyself

Someone said Moses wasn't a geographer, he was a prince in a grant.  Mustered up hundreds of thousands of Israelites.  Marshalled in rank and file, right into squadrons by Divine Appointment.  And the followers, all 600,000+ pitched according to the standards.  Unbelievable!   The Israelites did everything the Lord commanded Moses; that is the way they encamped under their standards, and that is the way they set out, each of them with their clan and family." Numbers 2:34 !.  So, what's the point here?  It's our state in this world---moveable.  We pitch our tents and press through no continuing city.  May we live as fellow-pilgrims pressing on for the prize of Christ Himself and that future state of ours.  Pitch together. Press onward with the God of the living. Mark 12:27. God says: "I am" the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. The living God is God of the living. 

PHOTO:  Church of the Martyrs.  May we all pitch according to the standards set.  For His Glory

68 - "God Sets Up Residence in Our Neighborhood" Leviticus 26-27; Mark 11:19-33

"I'll set up my residence in your neighborhood." Lev 26:11 MSG. If we surrender, He is our neighbor. Oh!  

If we confess our sins...wait, when was the last time I repented of sin?  About 15 minutes ago.  I went into the living room to my husband to ask his forgiveness for being very rude to him, but you know what happened?  I sinned again right there cause I didn't like his response.  We have the awesome privilege of going into the Holy of Holies and living no longer curved in.  Repentance isn't just asking someone to forgive me but it's turning from it.  

66 Love Letters: "Think of holiness as relational energy that is more concerned with another's well-being than our own. Think of unholiness as perverted relational energy that is more concerned with our well-being than another's."  

So, as we close the Book of Leviticus, what would holiness look like as we relate to our spouse today?  What would it look like as we relate to our children?  What does it look like this day as we relate to our world?  My prayer for all of us as we end this book is Colossians 1:29:  As you face and embrace some really hard things, may you struggle well with "His Energy that so powerfully works in you." 

So what does the Book of Leviticus stir in you? "These are the commandments which Yahweh commanded Moses for the children of Israel on Mount Sinai." Lev 27:26. Given for their joy. Manifested in holy love.  

Father, it is incomprehensible that we can partake of your Divine Nature.  The Israelites looked forward and thought they'd give anything to be at that place.  You are Here.  Invade my day, this moment, with your Holy Presence.

And so the book of Leviticus ends.  And you have to always ask yourself as you read your Bible:  So, what's the point?  Here it is:  all these kinds of laws were directed toward Israel's society not ours. The laws we just read are culturally specific.  Yet, Paul wrote in the NT that "the laws were written for our instruction" and they are "useful.  So, as we close this book of laws, we ask:  What did I just learn from all of these laws about how God wants me to truly live and about how he wants my society to truly live.  And the word I walk away with is "rest."  It's real rest that I long for.  And Sabbath rest. May I find true rest in Him, not in the tangibles of life. 

PHOTO:  Stumbled upon this beautiful place as I walked 10,000 steps today. Turned a corner. There it was. And There. God setting up His residence.

67 - "Keep Holy Your Sabbath Day" Leviticus 25; Mark 11:1-18

This is all about the servants that God brought out of Egypt.  Leviticus 25:55.  The law of Moses honored the Sabbath Day---a day designed for worship and reading and hearing the Law.  A day and a way to know God deeper.  Now, they institute a sabbatical year, every seven.  Now, they institute a jubilee year, after seven sabbatical years.  Return to your possessions, your bargains, your lands, your loves.  Free and with no encumbrance around your neck, around your soul.  And Who restores us to this kind of freedom?  The Redeemer Who lives.  Who ever lives for you and for me.  So what will I do with this Sabbath Day?  Consider it holy as unto the Lord. 

In Mark 11:17 Jesus designated the temple as a house of prayer for the nations and worship of the Eternal not a hangout for peddling religion. And the crowd who listened was carried away by Him. And the high priests plotted to get rid of Him.  

Kids, you will always have defectors in your midst. Keep holy the Sabbath Day all your days. 

PHOTO:  The little ones at church. May we all treat the Sabbath as holy. Rest. #read #listen #study #worship

66 - "The Sacrifices Shadow Our Relationship With God" Leviticus 23-24; Mark 10:32-52

66 - We put God on trial every time we evaluate if He is good. God is not on trial; we are. God is the Judge. Humble your soul. Come to Him first all day long. Leviticus 23:27. #60000thoughts #talkingtomyself

                                                           

We put God on trial every time we evaluate if He is good---what He has done that works for us or against us.  God is not on trial; we are.  God is the Judge.  "Humble your soul." Lev 23:27.  Offer the first-fruits of your life.  Turn to God first thing when you have a problem.  Come to Him first thing when you awake.  Pray to Him first thing when you sit down to eat.    C.S. Lewis wrote:  "You can’t get second things by putting them first. You get second things only by putting first things first."  Are we living by the first things?  Look at the Sabbath of these people.  They treat it as holy, do we?  Look at our day, do we profane the moments by not living in them.  Being present before a God Who Sees, and before what is really happening while my soul stirs.  Humble your soul. 

All these sacrifices shadow our privilege of having a relationship with God. 

All these laws, these words spoken protect and provide and prepare the family of God.

The Israelites are stuck at the base of Mt. Sinai. What offering do they bring to God? Obedience. Sacrifice. What offering do we bring to God? Our very selves. I struggle through the words of the sin offerings but there is no struggle through the truth—-we need a Savior. We can sin with our Bibles wide open.

Lev 9:36 Offerings are no small things. If we love Him, the offerings of our life will pour out.

Perfect in Beauty is the Godf who pours out of the Israelites when they follow in their wilderness and are not distant from God. Gratitude and offerings to God are not boxes to be checked off. There’s something wrong inside of us if life doesn’t flow out. 

This theme of offerings is all about Jesus being the only Way. 

The core message of Leviticus is to make us holy to enter His Presence.

May we long for holiness more than longing to improve, change, reverse circumstances. Make us a holy people. 

We are no longer under the Law. The Israelites were looking forward. We have equal standing with Peter. 2 Peter 1:3. Given all things that pertain to life and godliness. It is incomprehensible that we can partake of His Divine Nature. 

Remembering a quote from John Wesley: “ Insead of giving thanks, one is tempted 

Father, it is incomprehensible that we can partake of your Divine Nature.  The Israelites looked forward and thought they'd give anything to be at that place.  You are Here.  Invade my day, this moment, with your Holy Presence.

65 - "When Did It Become Okay to Work Harder To Be Holy" Leviticus 21-22; Mark 10:1-31

                                                           

Are we a holy people?  God is most concerned about making us holy. Is that my major concern in any given matter?  Are we dealing with the Truth?

When did it become OKAY to work harder to be holy?

Be holy. Leviticus 19:1
How do we do that?
Am I asking the right question?
Do I fear the One Who will ask the right questions?
God is the One Who makes us holy.
Leviticus 21:8
Where did we LEARN that we could work harder to become holier?  

Why do we think we can deny what is really happening within our souls?  

When did it become all right to distance ourselves to live for this world?  

What in life can make us holy apart from You?  

Make us a holy people, unto Yourself!

PHOTO: It's a promise. God will make us holy. Will I let Him? What will that look like?

64 - "Counterfeit Holiness" Leviticus 19

 "Do not desecrate my sanctuary. I am the Lord, who makes you holy.’” Lev 19:30. Think about the priests in Jesus' day.  "All the chief priests and the elders of the people took counsel against Jesus to put Him to death; and they bound Him, and led Him away, and delivered Him up to Pilate the governor” (Matt. 27:1-2).  They took counsel.  The error of the chief priests and Pharisees has been perpetuated and refined from Leviticus to this century. This error has to do with a false perception of holiness.  What does holiness really look like?  The chief priests?  Counterfeit holiness. What about today.  Are we a holy people?  God is most concerned about making us holy. Is that my major concern in any given matter?  Are we dealing with the Truth?

Leviticus 19:4 "Don't take up with no-god idols. I am God, your God."  That verse to me is so stirring that HE is my God.  I think I see all of the rules in this verse---No Idols--- and that includes everything from having children to having a great life to having what I want to having successful relationships.  Anything except God is an idol. Put first things first and we get second things thrown; put second things first and we lose both first and second things (C.S. Lewis).  This passage shows over and over how much we need to be clean and pure ... and it's impossible without Him. 

PHOTO: Browning's sanctuary. You shall know the truth and it will make you free. And God will make you holy.

63 - "Either Becoming Holy or Trying To Figure This Life Out" Leviticus 17-18; Mark 9:1-29

#63 Am I more concerned about my relationship with God than I am with these rough circumstances trapping me in?

Fragmented.

And sitting right in the midst of Beauty.

Am I more concerned about my relationship with God than I am with this rough patch that I've hit. So fragmented.  God was so focused in these verses in telling them to do things the right way before they could enter His Presence.  He sends a message to the grieving Aaron of how to come into His Presence.  Of course, Aaron wanted the Knowledge of the Truth.  Don't repeat the same mistake your boys did. No Aaron.  He found a way in the midst of his own grief to pursue his God.

How do you let go and let God be God? Aaron found a way in the midst of heartwrenching grief. I'm having trouble giving up my rights over a situation that I have identified as "not right." And it probably is "not right."  But it really is not "right" when I look at where I am and declare that God wants to give me joy---and I've not dealt with what is overtaking me, my own unholiness. He says in Lev 18:29 "I am the Lord, your God."

Beth Moore said at Passion that when we fight the wrong fight, "it has two fists---ego and control."  I'm so bent on being right.  Wanting not to lose control.  Why am I not longing for holiness more?  Using God to get me where I want to go.  God, please do this, do that, do this. May I fix my eyes on my relationship with a Holy God and open these fists of mine. "You want me to be holy in any situation more than You want me to figure out what to do to improve any situation."  66LL

PHOTO:  This sunset took my breath away as I drove home from Houston.  I jumped out the car to snap the shot.  There is something really bothering me.  Hard to shake.  Fragmented.  Come, Lord Jesus, in all this Beauty. 

62 - "Spiritual Leprosy" Leviticus 15-16; Mark 8:22-38

                      

We live in a broken world. But there is still order. God still rules. 

The priests couldn't heal. 

All these regulations. 

How could they remember. 

But, Matthew Henry says: If we apply this to the spiritual leprosy of sin, it intimates that when we withdraw from those who walk disorderly, we must not count them as enemies, but admonish them as brethren. And I just love that thought. May I treat my enemy as a friend---and a friend gives admonishments, too.  

Mark 8:24 Jesus healed the blind man ... but he still could not fully see. He restored the order of health. But the seeing man saw trees and still needed Jesus. So many times, I see "walking trees" and need the power of Jesus to walk aright. 

PHOTO: Peace like a river.  The place where I go to pray for my enemies.  

61 "Don't Live Nurturing Your Accomplishments, Achievements, and Possessions" Leviticus 14; Mark 8:1-21

#61The Israelites were looking forward. We no longer look backwards. We have Him here. Partakers of the Divine Nature. God is engineering all things. Don’t be nurtured in accomplishments, achievements, and possessions. Give Thanks. 

                                                               

Old Testament laws.  We are no longer under the law.  They were looking forward and we no longer look backwards.  We are partakers of the Divine Nature.  Francis Chan said:  "We have obtained equal standing with everyone---like Peter. Don't be so nearsighted that you are blind."  We have Him here.  Chan spoke about looking at things Unseen.  What are we really looking at every day?  The warp or the woof?  Or the Invincible, Immutable, Incomprehensible God?

Father, it is incomprehensible that we can partake of your Divine Nature.  The Israelites looked forward and thought they'd give anything to be at that place.  You are Here.  Invade my day, this moment, with your Holy Presence.

God spoke to Moses & Aaron. He talked to them! 

And He did to me today in the midst.

When you enter the land I am giving you to possess, put this in your house . . .

Leviticus 14:

First Thought:  get rid of it!  God is the one engineering ordaining all things. 

"Instead of Giving Thanks, one is tempted toward and nurtured in 

accomplishments, achievements, and possessions. 

It is a world in which no wonders are enacted, no transformations noticed." 

John Wesley

Meanwhile, back in the Lake in Galilee, Jesus once again feeds 4,000 people from 7 loaves of bread. What a wonder! Transformation beckons. Mark 8:6. 

If God has ordained for you to possess the good, the bad, the ugly ,,,, 

God will enable you to persevere in your possessions.

How does God meet us in our brokenness? There are laws. There is still order in this broken world. We can face the disorder and God has a way to help us live with that. We are still under the rule and reign of God.

PHOTO:  Taken at Passion Conference as Francis Chan spoke about 2 Corinthians 4:18.  Fix our eyes on what is Unseen, not on this earth.a

60 - “The Warp and the Woof” Leviticus 13; Mark 7:14-37

                                                                         

Hey Little Buddies,

Old Testament laws.  They were looking forward.

Today, we are no longer under the law,

and we no longer look backwards.

We are partakers of the Divine Nature. 

We have obtained equal standing with everyone---like Paul and Peter.

We have been given all things that pertain to life and godliness. II Peter 1:3.  

For that very reason.  Give it all up.  

Make every effort.  Knowledge.  Self Control.  Steadfast.  Godliness.  Love.  

Don't be so nearsighted that you are blind.  We have Him here.  

What are we really looking at every day in the process of what we go through?  The warp and the woof?  The countable and the uncountable?

The seen or the Unseen. 

Are we looking at the Invincible, Immutable, Incomprehensible God?

Jot upon Jot.  Tittle upon Tittle.

How Can They Remember All these Rules.

It's the Priests Who Will Atone For Them.  No more!

We have a High Priest!

Consecrate yourselves was the message in this wilderness.  Observe the rules.  

Consecrate yourselves is the message for our wilderness this day.  Value above all:

This Book is written for all those who hold Hope in Him.

"These laws remind us that God sees all things, even those which escape the notice of men." Matthew Henry. Jesus saw the man who couldn't hear nor speak in Mark 7:35. Ephphatha! Open up! He is calling to all of us Today. 

PHOTO: Meme and Zekey almost one-year-old. Jot upon Jot. Tittle upon Tittle.s

59 - “Name Your Sin” Leviticus 11-12; Mark 7:1-13

 

"You must distinguish between the unclean and the clean." Leviticus 11:47.  Name the sin that separates us from God.  "The toughest part of My plan, the part that is costliest to God, is to make me holy." 66 LL. All these regulations!  They couldn't enter the Presence of God "as is."  This theme of offerings is all about how Jesus is the only Way.  The core message of Leviticus is to make us  holy.  May we distinguish between all the things we deal with.  May we long for holiness as much as our next breath.  May I desire to be holy in my current situation more than I want to figure out what to do to improve it, change it, eradicate it.  Help us to distinguish between good and evil.  Make us a holy people. 

PHOTO: Church of the Martyrs in Rome. A holy moment standing here knowing the stories of holy people. Ordinary people who took a stand on their faith, their God.  Willing to be murdered for Truth.  Unbelievable.  You should read about The Church of the Martyrs. 

58 - "Distance From God" Leviticus 8-10; Mark 6:30-56

#58 Look before us at your very steps. May we be found waiting and watching. Distance from God is our most lethal problem in life. 

The Lord commanded Moses on Mount Sinai to tell the Israelites that they needed to bring their "oblations" to God in the wilderness.  Don't wait until you get to the Promised Land.  The wilderness.  So what am I waiting for---things to get better?  This offering is no small thing here. If we love Him, the offerings of our life will pour out. Leviticus 9:36. "Solemn acts of religious worship are not things which we may do or not do at our pleasure; it is at our peril if we omit them." Matthew Henry.

Gratitude and gifts to God are not boxes to be checked off.  There's something wrong inside of us if it doesn't flow.  And 66LL talks about what is at the root of why we don't offer ourselves, our day, our family, our ministries to God.  We are blind to see what the most lethal problem really is.  Why are we so lethargic in our disciplines?  Crabb says:  "Distance from God" is responsible for every problem we have.  He talks about how we assume that we are doing just fine while we run off trying to make our lives work. 

I know what it feels like to be stiffarmed.  What about the distance I've created because I don't think God is fair, or kind, or generous?  What will I do about distance from God if I recognize it?

The Lord said to Moses, Bring Aaron and his sons and gather the entire assembly to commission Aaron as a priest.  Lev 8:2. Wash and dress them: Tunics. Sashes. Robed. Ephods. Breastpieces. Turbans. Gold Plated. Anointing Oil.  What a sight to see!  Spellbound by the ceremonial honor.  Should be that way but it's not what we've seen here on earth. All we can do is deal with our own stuff.  May you be found waiting in wonder, and leading your families for the favor of our God. 

The occasion of sin is great in all our lives. Therefore, all these offerings. But today, it's our very lives. "Fear always, and pray always, that we may be kept from sin. Also we should look before us at every step. The true Christian daily pleads guilty before God." M. Henry. No more burnt offerings. We are alive in him and He dwells within. Adore Him!

Mark 6:52 shouts out that they didn't "gain any insight" even though they heard Jesus speak face-to-face . . feed 5,000 from a mere five loaves and two fish . . . walk on water . . . drive out demons . . . raise the dead . . . and . . . yet, they did not gain any insight from the incidents they witnessed. 

O God, may we be in awe-filled insight from what we know.  May we be changed by the power of your Holy Spirit.  

I am spellbound by all the ceremonial honor.

PHOTO:  The little ones at church. May we all treat the Sabbath as holy. May we be changed by what we know. #adore #read #listen #study #worship

57 - "Nine Words Amaze Me" Leviticus 6-7; Mark 6:1-29

I don't know that I've ever cried over Leviticus---

It's hard to read while I'm thinking about how desperate I am and how does this apply? 

I've been so thinking about my sin, surprised by it. 

And wondering as I read a Love Letter quote: 

Because Jesus offered Himself to God for my sin, 

He is no longer mad at me for my sin.  

I can't get over the truth that He paid for my sin and He's not mad at me for still messing up. 

There's such hope for my sin this day. 

I should look before me, every step. 

I'm such a mess this morning---but a Saved Mess, a Glorious Mess! 

We are all a work of heaven. The things only God can do---like, change us.

"Keep the fire burning. It must not go out." Leviticus 6:13.

Nine words amaze me in Mark 6: They [disciples] went out and preached that men should repent. Mark 6:13. They didn't use programs or pomp. They offered their words, cognizant of their daunting weaknesses, expecting no salary, demanding no recognition. They were very aware that the townspeople were offended by this Carpenter performing miracles. Mark 6:3.  They moved not as celebrities but as servants in dependence on His Strength. They went out. 

Is the church today calling people to repentance or relevance? At times, it seems we want to protect Jesus from not being liked, so we sell soft. Lower the lights. Up the beautiful music. Put on quite the performance. Make Him likable. And be sure to deliver a sermon that meets the needs and problems and diseases of everyone in the pew. What should a church be all about? 

What about a sermon that changes you? Herod says he respected John---even "enjoyed listening" to him. Mark 6:20.  How many enjoy the sermon and walk into their week to treat their husbands with distance; treat their co-workers with arrogance; treat their families with unkindness; treat their world with a lack of respect for the dignity of man---and never call it sin.  I do---and I don't want to stay that way.  We will all fail this week in our relationships---and we all can repent and turn to God to make us new again. 

PHOTO: Ezri is a work of heaven.

56 - “Redeeming Grace of God” Leviticus 3-5; Mark

#56 Think about redeeming grace for the secret sins and the sins against humanity. Nothing can snatch us out of his redeeming grace. #60000thoughts #talkingtomyself

Sitting on this tiny island today thinking about my sins and Redeeming Grace that sets me free of what grabs me. No one, Nothing can snatch me out of His Hand. 

We will sin in this day.

And we have an Advocate. 

Here. They offer sacrifices for their sins. 

For secret sins. 

For sins against humanity. 

"If a soul sins ..." Leviticus 5:1

DEAR GOD, Change us in one of our 10,000 Moments today and always. That we may find you in our weaknesses, in our sins. 

PHOTO: Quarries Lake, ATX

55 - “An Aroma Pleasing to God” Leviticus 1-2; Psalm 90; Mark 5:1-20

#55 Our daily offerings—-is it fulfilling to just check off the box? Our validation in life is that we answer God’s invitation. Leviticus 1:17. #60000thoughts #talkingtomyself

                                                              

Dear Ones, I open the book of Leviticus and it's about all these sin offerings and I struggle through the words.  But I don't struggle through the truth.  If we sin unintentionally, it still does not clear us of the sin.  We can plead ignorance all we want.  Unintentional sins need a Savior, too.  We must own up to our own.  We must learn to hate sin whether we are surprised by it or full-faced embrace the evil.  May we all value knowing Christ more than knowing comfort in what we want to do.  We can sin with our Bible wide open.  May the Word find a place in all our hearts today.

                                            

The Israelites are stuck at the base of Mount Sinai through this entire book.  What offering do they bring to Christ in the completed tabernacle?  Blessing.  Obedience.  Sacrifice.  Fast Forward to today.  What offering do we bring?  Our very selves.   

God called Moses and spoke to him from the Tent of Meeting: Speak to the People of Israel. Tell them. Whole burnt offerings. "The general design of these laws is plain. The sacrifices typified Christ; they also shadowed out the believer's duty, character, privilege, and communion with God. There is scarcely any thing spoken of the Lord Jesus in Scripture which has not also a reference to his people."   

Leviticus…These offerings.

Our daily privilege. 

Pleasing to whom?

Fulfilling that we checked off the box? No. 

Validating that we answered God's invite? 

"An aroma pleasing to the Lord."   Leviticus 1:17. 

Is it enough for me that I do in obscurity what my God has called me to do? Called me to be?  Faithful servants. Offering sacrifices of a broken-heart.  

PHOTO:  We are all born with sin in our hearts. We are all wayward. We all need a Savior. And this little fella is going to walk uprightly and deal uprightly and live uprightly.  He is on such a good path on his Mom and Dad's knee.  

54 - “Dazzling & Dreadful” Exodus 39-40; Mark 4:21-41

They have done it. In a wilderness! Six months. White-hot.

And the cloud covered the tent. No ordinary cloud that a sun could peek through. No ordinary happening that a day would start when the cloud went up. No ordinary obedience that a million men would freeze under that cloud. Dazzling Light by day. Dreadful fire by night. 

And we know the end of this story. These Israelites did not make it into the land of Canaan. They did not take care of their souls. I wonder why. This cloud, this fire---tokens of God's Very Presence among them so that they need not ask: Is God among us? But wait, I must ask the same telling question of myself: Am I really taking care of my soul---allowing God to be My Provider, My Glory, the Lifter of my head? 

And God possessed the Tabernacle.  He moved in.  He lives there.  Forever now.
That Shichaneh glory is here forever.  
"Whenever the cloud lifted from above the tabernacle, they would set out; but if the cloud did not lift, they did not set out—until the day it lifted.l"  Exodus 40:36-37

I find no better words to express the beautiful invitation to be led in "the midst of the paths of judgment." May our souls not wander. May we not lose our way, lose the way.

PHOTO:  A Colorado Cloud.  Thinking about the tokens in our lives of God's Very Presence.  Longing to allow my God to take care of my soul.   

53 - “Things Written Again and Again To Make Us Safel” Exodus 36-38; Mark 4:1-20

   

There are chapters and chapters about building the temple. Why so many? It was for those who were building it---designers of perfume, designers of woodwork, interior designers...

God tells us what we should read again and again and again.  Those repetitive chapters for our lives that need to be inculcated on our souls.  In Philippians 3:1-2 Paul says that to write the same for all of us is "safe." "To write the same things again is no trouble for me, and it is a 'safeguard' for you." M. Henry. So, go "walk about this Zion" and see the beauty---the more you contemplate the glories of the church, the more you will see and love and live.  Go walk among your church this life and see the beauty.  And notice the things that are written again and again for you to be "safe."  

Photo:  Museum of the Bible, Washington DC Pay attention to all the beauty.

52 - "God Is Merciful When People Tell Us What's Wrong With Us" Exodus 34-35; Mark 3:20-35

#52 God is merciful when people tell us what’s wrong with us; when our friends swindle us; and when we are the self-swindlers. He is making sure that we know that. Exodus 34:6. #60000thoughts #talkingtomyself 

                                                                    

Exodus 34:6 God says that He is merciful when people here don't cut us any slack; He is slow to anger even when people tell us what's wrong with us; He is Gracious when others are curt, short, and unkind; He is steadfast in His Love when our friends swindle us; He is faithful when we become self swindlers.  The Lord made sure that Moses knew that.  Passed before Moses and Proclaimed!  And Jesus made sure that His followers knew that whoever does the will of God, you have a relationship with the Holy One.  Holiness---is that what grasps me this day?  Or is it about proving that I am right; vindicating myself; standing up for myself.  Oh God, have mercy on us all.  Holiness is the cry of our heart.  May I be more concerned about how I treat others than how they treat me.

PHOTO:  This preschooler has her whole life in front of her. May all of those younger than we are know that God is merciful in whatever is happening to you. 

51 - "I Will Give You Rest" Exodus 31-33; Mark 3:1-19

#51 Tuck this thought under your pillow Tonight: “I will give you Rest.” Exodus 33:14. Sleep in peace. Rest in Him not in solving perplexities, not in connecting with a person or place. #60000thoughts #talkingtomyself                          

                                                            

"My Presence shall go with you; and I will give you rest." Exodus 33:14.  The original Hebrew left off "with you."  Moses, along with each of us, needs confirmation if this is a promise for the person or the people.  God assures.  He will give rest in the midst of pressing perplexities and he will give rest to the present people, then and today.  I could live with this verse tucked in the pillow of my heart every night.  Sweet dreams.  Sleep in peace knowing His Presence comes; His Rest is real.  Am I really finding rest from the demands of my day as the sun closes Sunday.  What does it look like in my life to be at rest?

PHOTO:  It's the place where I go to pray day in, day out.  The place where I work.  My Rest is in Him not in solving perplexities, not in connecting with a person or place.  

50 - "Attendance At The Throne" Exodus 29-30; Mark 2

Every morning. Every evening. A lamb offered upon the altar. Continual intercession. To this day. Christ lives to make intercession for His church. Every. Single. Day. “So I will consecrate the tent of meeting and the altar and will consecrate Aaron and his sons to serve me as priests. Then I will dwell among the Israelites and be their God. They will know that I am the Lord their God, who brought them out of Egypt so that I might dwell among them. I am the Lord their God." Exodus 29:44-46. Must we offer to God the sacrifices of our praise and prayer? Daily. Every morning. Every evening. "All in" in attendance at the Throne of Grace. He is waiting, listening, welcoming, loving. Ever making intercession for you and for me.

There I will meet with you and speak to you.
The old covenant.
Dependent on offerings.
But One was made on your behalf.
Here I will meet you and speak with you.
A new covenant.
He is Here not There.
So what's the point for my life this day?
Changes everything this Word of God.
So if He is Here, can I live like this?

Exodus 29:42 - "There I will meet you and speak to you; 

There also I will meet with the Israelites, and the place will be my glory."  

He used to be There.  

Now He is Here with us.  

May we find Him.

PHOTO: A dad saying goodbye to his son. This dad prayed every evening, every morning. Passed on his life.

49 - "Keep Your Lamps Burning" Exodus 27-28; Mark 1:23-45

Keep the lamps burning for the Lord.
God led them there by Light.
God is there.
He is alive.
The Temple recognizes the God who is there.
We are The Temple today.
What God said is still alive.
And I am still here.
Eternal flames burn bright to say
Our God is Alive in me.
And He leads me out every single day.
Keep your lamps burning bright.

Exodus 27:21 -  From evening to morning, it's a lasting ordinance for the generations to come---keep the lamps burning before the Lord.  And keep praying because if He wants to heal, He will do it.  Just ask the begging leper on his knees. Matthew 1:40.

PHOTO:  Duomo di Milano, Italy. Where the Olympics are tonight. 

48 - "The Gospel is a Person Not A Place" Exodus 25-26; Mark 1:1-22

The cloud lifted and it was God's command to set out.

The cloud settled and it was God's command to settle down and rest. 

The movement

The settling are both called

The Command of God. 

This was God's will for them. 

This was their calling. 

And the same this day. 

God's movement in our lives belongs

To His Will for us. 

It may be quick 

like Jonah or years like Joseph. 

It is not for us to say. 

It is there for us to follow. 

God's Will and our surrender. 

DEAR GOD, PLEASE CHANGE ALL OF US IN THESE 10,000 MOMENTS.  Give us courage to move when the cloud lifts and rest when the dust settles. 

PHOTO:  The clouds lifting and here I wonder about all these wanderings.

47 - "Someone Is Watching Out For Me" Exodus 23-24; Matthew 28

An angel shall keep them in their way.
Wondering if an angel keeps us this day.
The Israelites must face a wilderness and wanton country.
And This Presence of God is a Promise to each.
He will be with you whatever you embrace.
This blessed angel will be before your face.

"Behold, I send an Angel before thee, to keep thee in the way, and to bring thee into the place which I have prepared." Exodus 23:20

You have promised us again and again that Your Presence goes with us.  May we see You this very day.  And in the still of the night, as we lay awake, may You do Psalm 16:7, counsel Us before our face. 

And here we are in the New Testament where Jesus, Himself, is speaking that He will be with us right up to the end of the age---if we follow Him. Matthew 28:20.

PHOTO:  It's A Promise.  His Presence.  Our Wilderness.   attention to what God says. Exodus 23:13. "Little by little I will drive them out from before you, until you have increased and possess the land." Exodus 23:30.  We live in an instant celebrity society. We want things to go well, smoothly, on time, and with a name. Little by little, God works every day in our lives. Driving out anything that detaches us from Him. Either we are driven to repentance or rebellion.  

Beautiful Promises given to these wanderers.  Are we the same?  Wandering through.  Going through 42 stations to get to the one place they need to be.  And a very Gracious God promises in Exodus 23:20---"Behold, I send an angel before you to guard you on the way and to bring you to the place that I have prepared."  And I wonder, this very day, if there is an angel going before each of us.  There is a God Who has prepared our way.  And He will get us there.  In the midst of laws and obligations, it is our immense privilege to serve the God Who has laid out our lives before all time.  Everything.  Little by Little.  May we find that Little today.

COME BOLDLY:  Timeless Prayers
God, You are moving in our ives.  You are acting, plotting, and drawing us up.  May we see with fresh eyes of grace this day what You have for us.

PHOTO:  Sitting.  Swinging.  Thinking humble about angels guarding me.  Thinking hard about life unfolding on me.  Thinking happy that it is "little by little" and I'm going to be okay.

46 - "God's Words Interpret Us 2,000 Years Later" Exodus 21-22; Matthew 27:51-66

#46 God’s words interpret us 2,000 years later for we are bound by an amazing debt to respond.

His Voice. The Third Moon after walking on the ocean floor. God speaks and we must listen. Had there ever been an occasion from the beginning of the world that God made Himself known like this? His tone. His Words. his Voice. God spoke all these words ---the law of the ten commandments. These words will interpret us 2,000+ years later. We are bound by an amazing debt to respond. What will we do with this God. Exodus 22:31. Be holy for My Sake. 

Tell the people of Israel, the people of America: You yourselves have seen what I did to the Egyptians, and how I bore you on eagles' wings and brought you to myself. Now therefore, if you will indeed obey my voice and keep my covenant, you shall bemy treasured possession among all peoples, for all the earth is mine; and you shall be to me a kingdom of priests and a holy nation. These are the words that you shall speak, Moses. No words to explain. No words compare all He has given us. A revelation of what's truly in our hearts and if we will obey Him. 

Never in history has God chosen to speak like He did through giving Ten Commandments that envelop the intentions and thoughts and motives and demands of our lives. The "Grand Demand of Love" springs from obedience.  And to obey, may we have no other idols before---none in heaven; none in earth. God was before everything and we owe him everything.  God still speaks to us through His Providential hand, our consciences, His written Word but only two tablets once!  And we all have defaced the tablets.  And we get ourselves in messes. We all have clean slates for the grand demand.  Keep on loving each other.

WHO is willing to believe that Jesus was the Son of God and He rose from the dead on the Third Day. Matthew 27:54.

WHO is willing to believe that God is able to move into our lives this day just like He did for Abraham and Isaac and Jacob?
Matt. 27 - HE is the God of the Living, I AM the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, the God of Jacob, and my God this very day.  It's not I WAS but I AM!

PHOTO:  It's a quiet spot looking out over a huge valley of life.  God is looking out, into hearts.  Bearing us on eagle's wings.  Never leaving us to ourselves in this wilderness of life.

  

45 - "The Grand Demand of Love" Exodus 19-20; Matthew 27:27-50

#45 - God wrote the Ten Commandments not to make us feel guilty but to lift us up to Himself. God wants to write his law on our hearts. We want to write it on our to-do lists. Exodus 20:20. Don’t be afraid. God has come to instill a deep and reverent awe within you.   

                                                      

          

Not Even A Likeness of An Idol

Not Twitter or Facebook or Ministry or Children

My friend, Larry, once told me that God had Moses write the Ten Commandments, "not to beat you down into self-hatred over never getting it right, but rather to lift you up into the liberating experience of looking bad in the presence of love." We are fully known, accepted, and loved even in the midst. Sinful Sinners. Glorious Messes.

We will, day-in day-out, feel hungrier for something other than God in our lives, at times.                    We'll never fully depend on Him and Him Alone!  So many signposts tell us we are off the tracks.  Do we listen?  Or do we rationalize?  Someone close to me said this week that going to church doesn't make you a Christian and that's oh so true. Since the pandemic hit, there are so many, many Christians who have not returned to church. The context of the conversation was about my father who never darkened the door of a church in his lifetime.  If you don't want Jesus here on earth, do you want him in the afterlife? My dad had a strong sense of morality from what I saw.  Does your morality save you?  No, but where did that morality come from?  10 Commandments draw us up and that makes us want to worship.  

Moses writes the 10 Commandments not to make us feel guilty about the do's and don'ts.                      God gives us This Word to free us up. Exodus 20:20 Moses spoke: Don’t be afraid. God has come to test you and instill a deep and reverent awe within you so that you won’t sin.”

God called Moses to walk up a sinful mountain. He had a big errand for the messenger Moses. The Maker of Heaven & Earth and all above and all below called out to a proud people who were not walking in holiness. God wanted to write His Law on their Hearts; we want to write His Law on our To-Do lists. 

This solemn sermon served this church in a wilderness resounding "to convince the Israelites (and our lives too) of their guilt, and to show that they could not stand in judgment before God by their own obedience. In the law, the sinner discovers what he ought to be, what he is, and what he wants." Matthew Henry. The sermon trumped the law. "In drawing near to God, we must never forget his Holiness and Greatness, nor our own meanness and pollution." MH We are a mean people.

The Israelites were not aware of their own sins ... and God spoke.  No one had ever heard anything like these Two Tablets of Truth. Sounds like God wrote to this day, as our own sins so deface our hearts, nd we do not name what we are doing. We don't name the idols that we wrestle with: Social Media. Children. Ministry. Success. Money. Recognition. Good Things. Anything in the heaven or anything beneath the earth ... or under the sea, anything that flashes the likeness of an idol and detaches us from our Maker. 

Let the manna rain down and expose our own hearts and name what we are doing under the sun that keeps us from a genuine Hunger and Thirst for God.

 Never in history has God chosen to speak like He did through giving Ten Commandments that envelop the intentions and thoughts and motives and demands of our lives. Someone once called it the  "Grand Demand of Love"—-it springs from obedience.  And to obey, may we have no other idols before---none in heaven; none in earth. God was before everything and we owe him everything.  God still speaks to us through His Providential hand, our consciences, His written Word but only two tablets once!  And we all have defaced the tablets.  And we get ourselves in messes.  I sit in a mess I have created today.  And yet, we all have clean slates for the grand demand.  Keep on loving each other.

PHOTO: Bob walking on Santa Rosa Island. A grandfather. A dad. A husband. A child of God. 

44 - "God Rains Down Manna Every Single Day of Our Lives" Exodus 16-18; Matthew 27:1-26

44 - Do we know God’s Presence only when things go right? God rains down hidden manna every single day of our lives. Exodus 17:7  

                                                                  

From Rain Clouds Fall Manna

I have spent much of my life denying the pain I feel just about every day. I had given over to way-too-many thoughts that I couldn't see God's Power in six miscarriages and rape and loss of finances and loss of ministry and loss of friends and I could go on and on. When things go wrong, there's that entitlement within me that says I need a break, deserve better. Enough, LORD. Here are these Israelites in that kind of a boat. God hears their grumblings, mine too ~ Exodus 16:9. He gives them manna---40 years worth. They couldn't horde it, couldn't hold it over. He forced them to go to sleep at night and trust that it would rain down the next day. He forces you and me to go to sleep this night and trust His Good Hand. Forces us to rest physically and spiritually.

Today, we may be doing exactly what we are supposed to be doing.  Then, in the twinkling of a blink, trouble knocks on our story.  A phone call comes.  An unexpected word from work.  And it happened to the Israelites when they pitched tent in a new town.  No water there.  And the grumbling commenced.  So, they default to stoning Moses with words and threats.  They would rather be back in Egypt with food and water than trusting God in the middle of a desert. Back in Egypt where God could take their life there but not here.  But This Providence has designed, allowed, charted cisterns that men fall into; wilderness that have dried up full; and friends who forget you in the dungeons of life.  Discontent makes us look larger on that past of ours and lesser in the present moment.  What is this that God will do here for us today---what is it?  

"Then said the LORD unto Moses, Behold, I will rain bread from heaven for you; and the people shall go out and gather a certain rate every day, that I may prove them, whether they will walk in my law, or no." Exodus 16:4

And we must answer the same question that the Israelites faced in Exodus 17:7 "Is the LORD among us?"

Do I look for His Presence only when things go right? He gives us the manna of His Word every single day of our lives to make our souls well. The comfort of the Spirit of God is Hidden Manna ~ Rev 2:17 ~ for you and me. 

Do I look this day for the Messiah of my own dreams, my own wishful thinking?  The drama of the first eighteen chapters of Exodus shows the lengths God must go in order to free weak and helpless people from bondage to an evil power greater than themselves.  God will detach you from  everything that numbs your sacred hunger for Him and makes you feel hungrier for something other than Him."  66 Love Letters.  Or do I embrace The Deliverer Who Has Come to Save Me a

PHOTO:  Walking the shore in Bridgeport.  Under the Mercy.

43 - Exodus 14-15; Matthew 26:36-75

              

Someone said Moses wasn't a geographer, he was a prince in a grant.  Mustered up hundreds of thousands of Israelites.  Marshalled in rank and file, right into squadrons by Divine Appointment.  And the followers, all 600,000+ pitched according to the standards.  Unbelievable!   The Israelites did everything the Lord commanded Moses; that is the way they encamped under their standards, and that is the way they set out, each of them with their clan and family." Numbers 2:34 !.  So, what's the point here?  It's our state in this world---moveable.  We pitch our tents and press through no continuing city.  May we live as fellow-pilgrims pressing on for the prize of Christ Himself and that future state of ours.  Pitch together. Press onward.

The Commentary of Matthew Henry said let's get above our fears and let them quicken our prayers but not silence our hope. They thought it would have been better if they had died, that's how desperate it can get at times.  Reach down deep.  Move upward.  Stand Still on the inside. "The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” Exo 14:14. Don't ever give up. 

Pharaoh and his army hurled into the sea.  The best of the best.                                                                  All because of our Defense.  The Lord is a Warrior.                                                                                   The deep waters have covered them and they sank to the depths of the sea. Exodus 15:2, 5.  And that meant this.  They could walk on dry ground across a piled-up sea.  

Getting ready to walk into an MRI and I have no earthly idea how claustrophobic me can do it.  I am walking in on dry ground in the depth of my dilemma.  

PHOTO:  Church of the Martyrs in Rome.  May we all pitch according to the standards set.  For His Glory, if I could tell you one thing, it would be this.  God is "with you" in your deepest problems.            He has been with me all the way these 75 years as I write and I've been through a bit.