Thursday, March 25, 2010
March 25 ... Judges 19 - 21 "Sheer Wonder"
Judges 21:25 "At that time there was no king in Israel. People did whatever they felt like doing." What a disturbing reading about this concubine that so brings up for me my own rape where I was left on the threshhold of my door passed out for several hours. Did they ever repent? Did I repent? The rape wasn't my fault even though I thought it was for years. Not my fault. What I did with it was my fault. And praise God, He has set me free to forgive and love and leave justice in His Hands. Even if there was a king, there may be restraints on their behavior but no restraint in their hearts, the Israelites never repented. It was best-behavior Christianity if the kings are around. . What does real repentance look like? God has to get in us and pour His Love into my heart---Romans 5:5---so that His motives reach deeper inside of me (66 LL) than my motives for a good stable joyful life here. So what lingers with you as we close the book of Judges? I've thought a lot about how they really didn't repent but did what they felt was right. They missed God! Also, I've thought about the kings who "were longing for a better country, a heavenly one." Heb. 11: 16. And some of these kings and prophets administered justice and became powerful in battle, attached to their God. Heb 11:34 says: "their weakness was turned to strength." Oooh...that's my prayer for all of us! I see some weaknesses in my life this night as I engaged a little bit ago in a heated discussion over trivial stuff that I should not have entertained. I hurt my son over it. I don't want to look bad. I hurt tonight over what I did. But do I hate sin more than suffering? I will hold close to my heart the words on page 30: "My plan is to change you from the INSIDE OUT, to change your motives and to change your impact on people so that how you relate to others, like my Son, will make them thirsty for Me and will draw them into desperate, grateful dependence on Me." I met Beth Moore one time (actually I have met her like 5 times but she doesn't know me) and the first time I met her, I said two sentences to her about what was going on in my life. Her response was: "Your desperation is a gift. God has yanked you by the hair on your head out of your situation, Ezekiel 8:3." She had no idea that it was like "Sheer Wonder" (Judges 13:18) to me---like an angel speaking. Those 2 words have caught my heart. For God was changing my motives, my impact. He still is! So what lingers with you from Judges?
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" At that time there was no king in Israel. People did whatever they felt like doing." It was hard to read this morning and I can't even imagine what that must have felt like, Bev. Oh, how your life Glorifies Him! I hope He changes me from the inside out.
ReplyDeleteI'm in a hurry to get to work, but you are all in my prayers this morning and I'm thankful for each of you taking this journey with me!
Love,
Angie
Cici, I am praying for your meeting with your sister on Monday. Bev's questions last post will help you prepare your heart to be obedient to Christ. I have had one of those meetings before with a family member and I remember the upset stomach, the knot in my throat, so I am praying for your peace and knowledge that you are pleasing the Lord. I also am praying for you to be able to listen and find a place of God's love for her in your heart again.
ReplyDeleteAs for Judges, I leave it realizing it is faith that pleases God even when we screw up in other ways. Forgetting God is a dangerous and bloody road. We see some repentance but is it authentic when it happens over and over? I am so convicted on this point, as my prayers are filled with apologies to God without authentic change. I add "Sheer Wonder" to my long list of the names for God that reveal His amazing character. Such a beautiful picture of His Glory.
I echo Bev's words as a prayer for our own road back to Him: "May God get in us and pour His love into us." Have a great day, everyone.
What lingers with me as I leave Judges?
ReplyDelete"God, I guess I do have something in common with the people whose stories You tell in Judges. I really do want to use You to get the life I want." pg.32, DR. Crabb's 66 Love Letters
God's scandalous love...why does He keep coming after this Prodigal?
That is the question...but so often not the one I ask.
I have been reading and pondering Judges, Bev's post, and Dr. Crabb's "66 Love Letters" since before dawn this morning. I have pages of notes in my journal as a result and don't know where to begin here.
I can't look at these characters in Judges and point my finger just because I use different tactics to secure blessings for myself.
What drives me above all else? Is it the "terror of misery? "As long as your terror of misery (which is not sinful), drives you above all else to secure the blessings of life for yourself (which is sinful),you'll remain unrepentant, distant from Me, and incapable of love. And no arrangement of bad times or good will change you, any more than it changed My people in Judges."
So, I am no different...I just pursue the good life in a way that looks a little bit more respectable than theirs. As if that makes a difference.
Dr. Crabb goes on to say that, if it's true that wrong motives spoil our impact, then "something much more relational must take place between You and Me,...something as deeply personal as sex is physical. YOU'VE GOT TO GET IN ME AND POUR YOUR LIFE INTO MINE so that Your motives, the way You love, reach deeper inside me than my sometimes well-disguised motivation to use You." (pg. 32) And here I made note of Romans 7:4...I am married to another, to Jesus,in order to bear fruit to God! His life poured into me...His love! And with His love come right motives that can have an impact,"at least a little" (pg.32)
All made possible "when the soldiers were pounding spikes into hands and feet." (again, pg.32)
I'm ready to leave Judges. Is it for the right reasons? And do I think my heart won't be exposed in Ruth?
I haven't commented on ch.19-21..
I can't imagine what this woman went through, and Bev. Bev, I'm emailing you later. You've have been on my heart so much lately!
In these chapters I just see where lives seem to have NO VALUE. Let's party, abuse, murder, scheme. And 19:27 "There she was...crumpled in a heap at the door." And the verse before that..."her master was sleeping." People sleeping, bodies in heaps. Will I let this impact me today, or will I merely check it off as my daily reading?
I'm sorry I took up so much space. You can imagine what my journal looks like.
Blessings,
FG Forever Grateful
Thank you all so much for your prayers for my time with my sister.
ReplyDeleteBev, thanks for the questions...I will be thinking about them as I prepare for my time with Stephanie. I really appreciate you taking the time to send those to me.
I'm glad we're done with Judges! These last chapters were hard to read, and Bev, I too was thinking about you as I read the story of the concubine. That story was awful, truly awful.
What's sticking with me from the book of Judges is the continuing focus on God's holiness and seeing how far I can move away from God when I don't take Him and His commands seriously. The Israelites justified so much of their sin. I don't want to be that person, but I know I am.
These thoughts from 66 LL are stuck in my brain:
"Holiness consists of love Me and not demanding to use Me as you see fit, and of loving others, of sacrificing your well-being for theirs. Holiness is your path to joy, your only path."
"Only when people look deeply into themselves will they truly repent. My people in Judges never repented...You and everyone else are inclined to depend on Me for the good life of blessings and to mistake that dependence for love."
Well, I guess yesterday's post really was for me. I thought yesterday was the 23rd so I read the wrong "Daily Light" entry, which turned out to be the right one for me.
ReplyDeleteSheer Wonder...I love that too!
FG
Ick.
ReplyDeleteThrow up ick.
I wish I had been there to grab my own sword and cut down those Gibeahnites myself.
I think I would have had a quick jab at that Levite husband who threw his wife/concubine out the door to those wolves, too. My aim would have been...well, he would have been able to sing very high notes.
I find it very interesting that God agreed for the Israelites to go to battle over this, but the victory was delayed. Made me wonder if He didn't think they all deserved to die.
Man, when left to himself doesn't appear very holy, do you think?
Holiness. If we peel away the layers of our wrappings, what is at the heart of us? Wickedness, depravity, perversion? Yes, yes, yes.
The only thing Good in us is God. He really does purify and refine us...like a consuming fire burns away impurities. I always picture myself in the crowd in Jerusalem shouting "Crucify him!"
I am no better than the worst sinner in these chapters. They may sound worse than my sins, but sin is sin to God.
Isaiah really responded to God the way we all should...even the most righteous one of us..."I am a man of unclean lips. I am undone."
I guess what lingers with me from these readings from Judges is how thankful I am to know Jesus personally as my Lord and Saviour and to have His Spirit dwelling in me. Judges has made me very ashamed of mankind. And many more books will follow this one that shows how depraved mankind is. And no mention in this book of the prince of darkness. Just man...evil all on his own.
Thank God Christ redeems sinful men and women. I long for heaven even more after reading these last chapters and seeing some of the same depravity in my own country.
Bev, I don't know how you read this without bawling your eyes out. How can men sink so low? I am praying that God will spare girls from this same kind of horror. Hell just isn't bad enough for this kind of depravity.
Cici, you go do that thing with Stephanie. You go, without one doubt that God is with you. Be the fragrance of Christ as you follow His example. Determine that you will be silent and listen, allowing Him to give you His heart to respond to her with love. Ask Him to love her through you. Love never fails.
Wear a perfume and when you sit with her, listening and discerning how to respond, sniff your wrist to remember that you are the fragrance of Christ. You will have victory against the enemy when you are a blessed peacemaker.
One day this same sister may be used by God to minister to you. I've seen it happen in my own life. A broken relationship...healed by God...that then became a healing relationship during a time of trial and suffering.
Love all of you. Remember Christ. We are one week away from Good Friday. Love with abandon. Pour Him out wherever you go.
He led captivity captive...Eph.4:8
Cici, I'm praying for your time with Stephanie too! Deborah, I love your idea about wearing perfume as a reminder that she is the fragrance of Christ. I'm going to have to remember that one!
ReplyDeleteLove you guys!
Angie xoxo
I would wear Eternity or True Love.
ReplyDeleteThere's also one by Curve called Soul.
Or Beautiful by Estee Lauder.
Wait, maybe a man's scent...just to remember Him.
Obsession? Eternity?
Or this...it's expensive...but I love the name and the thought of wearing a men's scent...
http://www.zappos.com/product/7561850/color/1
Or how about The Scent of PEACE by Bond no.9 (I only have a sample. It's expensive.)
ReplyDelete"When a man's ways please the LORD, He makes even his enemies to be at PEACE with him." (Prov. 16:7 NKJV)
Deborah, that was a great idea!
FG
Judges has been a challenge to read through. I agree with Deborah, sin is sin.
ReplyDeleteAs we continued to read from Johsua into Judges I realize on a deeper level I am my own worst enemy. I saw that last week big time, as I thought I was doing the right thing only to recognize my authorities said this activity was ok for me to do; truth it really wasn't.
It was a setback I did not see coming. Now it is taking me longer to completely heal. I need to be ready for the airplane and 7 hour flight and change planes in the middle of the trip by the last week of April. I must pay better attention when I recognize something is not right. I want to be changed from the inside out. This change is a daily challenge...there is no vacation from staying alert to Satan's subtle schemes. It is only the power of God that can make the difference.
Again Lord, help me to seek your holiness each day to get to know you better.
Lord, you are a "Sheer Wonder" for each of us.
Cici I pray for your meeting with Stephanie on Monday. I like Twinkle's idea wearing the perfume as a way to help stay focus when you might be tempted to do otherwise.
Ang, you are exactly the mother to provide what your son needs...he is seeing more in you of Christ than you realized though it may not be verbalized. God is able and I trust HIM with your amazing son.
Again sin is sin. I desire for God to reveal my sin and then the ability to recognize it and repent immediately.
The fact that the children of Israel did what they were suppose to do and on the outside looked good. The fact they never repented of their sin is significant. Lord, help me to be aware and courageous enough to totally repent when I recognize my sins daily.
Bev, I am so sad that you have had various difficult life experiences and yet some wonderful experiences as well. The point I make I learned from our Siesta Mama Beth. My paraphrase of her comment. I am thankful for all the good, bad and ugly of my life for the sum of all these experiences have created who I am today. Praise God from whom all blessings flow; He who truly can change each one of us from the inside out.
My song to sing now.
"Does my terror of misery ...drive me to secure God's blessings?"
ReplyDeleteBev, thank you for the questions that you pose that make me look at my heart and motives.
ReplyDeleteI'm still reading with you and appreciate the encouragment I get from these speactacular women.
--michele
Deborah, I LOVE your idea of the perfume! No doubt I'll need a reminder in the midst of the time. I'm definitely going to wear perfume, which I rarely do. I'll keep you posted as to what fragrance I end up wearing. Thanks for all of the suggestions from everyone. I so appreciate your prayers!
ReplyDeleteCici,
ReplyDeleteI thought about how expensive some of those scents were, but you can always run by the mall and spray a "sample" on your wrist.
I am so glad it is an encouragement. You will have the angels singing and Jesus clapping as you do what He is asking you to do. That's all He wants out of us when He calls us to be peacemakers. Lay it down. Like an offering.
Love you.
Bev, I say "Yes." to your question.
ReplyDeleteOnly because right now God is telling me to rejoice as I am suffering. Is Dr. Crabb hiding in my pocket?
I'm telling you what. When the suffering comes, and it isn't as important as the place God is taking you to, the suffering becomes a secret, communal place with Him.
He calls us to it, He brings us through it, and He has a plan. He is a good God.
Beth, in her teaching about Job, teaches us to "Call Satan's bluff." Job, in spite of his suffering, didn't curse God.
If He calls us to suffering, we know that it has a goal.
This is so hard to put into words. I'm even having trouble understanding what Dr. Crabb means, especially in the Lenten devotions. But I sense a strange glimmer of light breaking through, revealing something HUGE to me about suffering. It is not a curse. It is an honor. It does draw up deeply into the arms of Christ. It does peel off layers of unnecessary armor we put on to protect us from hurt. We become deep calling unto deep.
The thing I think I'm learning is to embrace this time as a gift. Not to hurry to the double blessing I'm promised if I don't lose heart and wind up cursing God.
Even if He kills me, I will trust Him. He is God. I am not. And I will suffer for someone else to know Him as I know Him. Like right now, I feel deeply in my spirit that what I am going though with my marriage separation is meant to work something good in my husband's life, maybe even an prayer that I was praying for him before our separation. I don't know. But if it takes this pain for my husband to grow in his relationship with Christ, then bring it on. I will gladly suffer through what I must but I will not turn my back on my husband, my marriage or my God.
Does my terror of misery drive me to secure God's blessings?
I think the terror of misery keeps me from seeing the beauty of it, and makes me focus more on just looking at God's blessings.
So I'm securing God's blessings around me instead of pushing them away and experiencing the suffering. Suffering grows us. Blessings show His Favor...at least in our eyes. Funny, but now I'm starting to think that suffering actually shows His Favor...He trusts us to go through it...just like He trusted and bragged on Job.
My answer. Hope it is understandable. Very tough question but what a blessing if we can get past our terror of misery and just let Him meet with us there. He knows what suffering and misery feels like more than anyone else could ever know.
It is like holy communion. Broken bread, blood-red wine. Poured out in remembrance. Coursing through every cell in our body...invading us. Divine invasion.
Christ suffered:
1. God turned His back on Jesus when He wore our sins.
2. Jesus knew the face of God. How can you experience His back when you know His face?
3. His disciples...all left Him in His time of greatest need...except for John the Beloved.
4. His family forsook Him.
5. He was not accepted by those religious and passionate Law keepers.
6. He had done no wrong, but He died a humiliating and painful death. We will never understand the battle He fought on that cross. You see a glimpse of it in the garden of Gethsemane.
7. And He did it for us, the ungrateful, unbelieving, uncaring one's just as much as for the faith-followers. And we fail Him so...
Love Him. It overwhelms me right now.
Thanks, twinkle. I needed to hear what you had written,
ReplyDelete--michele