than I am about giving up my time for Christian services and ceremonies?
It is far better to obey than sacrifice. I Samuel 15:22
It is far easier to bring a sacrifice than to bring our lofty thoughts and prideful thoughts and selfish ambitions into obedience before God. We are not competing with the High King. We have to let go of what controls us---it's idolatrrous. You've rejected the Word of the Lord and made nothing of it. You've brushed off the government of the Word, of your God. God made Saul the king. God can undo what He did.
Who rules you today?