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Tuesday, January 2, 2018

"Why Am I Downcast?" Genesis 4-6, Matthew 2

I bought pounds of furniture from the Bombay Outlet back in the day.  They knew me well.  I would always have three kids in tow for the quick look around the tiny bargain-of-the-century store.  I was trying to teach Barrett to be kind.  As we left the store that January morning, I encouraged Barrett to say something kind to our friend behind the counter.  I was hoping for a "bye bye." With his quick  dimpled 5-year-old hand, he let the exit door slam, turned around immediately and said with great gusto:  "If you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it."  Genesis 4:6-7. "Oh, OK. That's interesting," replied the clerk. I've thought about her all these years.

I taught my kids that verse because the one before it says: "Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast?" I wanted them to learn to deal with their own hearts and not everybody else's, especially siblings. But, it's for me this morning---why am I downcast as we drive away from a Eufaula Christmas vacation with tears in my meloncholy eyes?  Things aren't as they appear.  And a tear falls.  I'm just not where I thought I would be in life or *in soul or story* or in friends.  So, I'll keep walking in that darkness, trusting, no light.  The Morning Stars still sang this morning as I crawled out of bed.  Job 38:7.  I'm standing.

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