#8 “But I thought” —- we all have to wrestle in our hearts with the Truth. If it truly were a matter of the mind, we could change our minds.
Because I thought in my heart that there is no fear of God in this place. Genesis 20:11. Therefore, I took matters into my own hands again and said: "She's my sister" so they wouldn't kill me. Here is Abraham, the faithful patriarch, back to where he was before, deceiving people, throwing people into the path of sin, offering excuses, disregarding his own wife, and not living in that "counted as righteousness" life. In the Hebrew the verse is translated: "But I thought" . . . If it were a matter of the mind, we could change ours. It's deeper than knowledge, it's our heart that must wrestle with God. Just like Abraham and Sarah.
And what does God do? Forgives. Gives life after, wait, how many years of no children for Abraham? 36,500 suns will rise on this gentleman's life before the promise lives. Waited a century. 100 years. Isaac. Oh, to wait on God. Oh, to go to God. Like the unpretentious unassuming Abimelech, who rose early for directions. Oh God!
God, You promise us that You will act on behalf of those who wait for You, not for a baby, not for a solution, not even for protection. For You and You Alone, may we wait. Isaiah 64:4
G. K. Chesterson once said "We are all seasick together." Just tell me what I have to do to obey you, God, and I'll work out a way to go do it. I'll crawl on glass for you. I'll walk a tightrope. Oh my. We so want the Bible to be a road map to get us there. We silently scream: Give me the plan and we will do it.
PHOTO: On top of a hill on the Rocky Mountains thinking about waiting for God to change me and how I'm always called to move to love. Move this mountain in my life, God.
You and I have need of the strongest spell
that can be found to wake us from
the evil enchantment of worldliness which
has been laid upon us for nearly a hundred years.
C. S. Lewis The Weight of Glory
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