Job assigns the issues at hand to God and His display. He sends breach after breach. Job 16:14. It's God doing this. Job knew his friends were wrong. He knew that good living was not the ticket to no suffering. "When the lights go out. When suffering brings despair, emptiness futility and misery, trust Me, I am removing the scales from your eyes so that you will soon see My Light. The Morning Star is visible when the darkness is deepest." 66LL. You are my goal, not solutions to this life. Pain is not a destination but a journey into your very heart.
PRAYER FROM PSALMS
Psalm 88:18 - God, You say in this verse that Darkness has become your only friend. Whatever darkness I face in my current circumstances, may they only point to You for my journey is in relationship with you not solution to my problems. Be the Light in my darkness. May I truly see!
OVERVIEW: Job 14-16
I visited a friend the other day. She lost her husband of 30 years to pancreatic cancer. In one short month, he was gone. I spent the day dreading what I would say to her, knowing very little about what she'd gone through in the past month. By 5 o'clock I knew I had to get over there, so I showed up with ham in tow, and put my arms around her. I said very little. She talked and talked. I smiled, nodded, and said the trite responses and reminded her I was just around the corner, night or day. It was a helpless feeling not to have more to offer, but she seemed most grateful. I kept thinking about Job and what he needed most. . .What comfort is in its own right, and what it offers. I think there are a few basics, no set rules, but a few things that might help in seeing a friend through a difficult time.
ReplyDeleteHow not to be a miserable comforter.
1. Show up. Be there even if it's hard.
2. Listen. Letting someone talk through pain and process it is important.
3. Pray for them. Wherever they are on their walk with Him, or without Him, they need Him to see them through.
4. Remember them later. People are great about the initial support but tend to get back to business as usual pretty quickly, but it takes a lot longer to really heal after loss.
How about you? Do you have any helpful hints on how to be a better comforter when a friend is struggling?
Annette, you are easy to talk to because you are such a good listener, and that is what she needs right now. Just a couple of weeks ago I took a course "Grief Following Trauma". Due to the sudden onset of her death, she is going through a vortex of emotions. You have been there, meeting her physical needs with food, listening to her, praying for her, and remembering her as the grief process continues. An excellent book was shared in our course, it is called "Tear Soup, a Recipe for Healing" by Pat Schwiebert. It is very poignant and I highly recommend it.
DeleteOne thought my dear friend Sylvia shared was that people who live alone rarely get hugs. I imagine your friend is experiencing a huge loss of physical comfort. Hugs are so powerful. I always give single people and widows hugs when I greet them. Love you, Annette.
Good things to think about, Jan. I actually have that book that I have given to people. It is a sweet book on grief and comfort. I agree--it's well worth the read. And it's a pretty book, too.
DeleteThanks for encouraging me!
ReplyDeleteJob had some great lessons to learn too.
1. He spent so much time defending himself against false accusations. Scripture says that Job's problem was that he was righteous in his own eyes. (Job 32:1-2)
2. Job had steadfast trust not based on blessings or protection. Circumstances didn't make Job turn away.
3. God knew and God limited the trials that He allowed Job to suffer. Job was not abandoned at all, though he felt like it.
4. Ultimately, God made Job stronger and more compassionate through the fiery trial. He used the suffering to draw Job to Him and transform him to be more like Him.
For our own trials, we have a choice. We can become bitter or we can become better. God's waiting for our response.