240 - "God's Hand is in the Untrackable Sea: Psalm 76-77

                                                             

The psalmist feels that God's Hand seems to be removed from Him.

Therefore...
and what is the therefore, there for?
Therefore, my voice rises to God.
He says it again.  Rises to God!
He will hear me.  Psalm 77:1
My hand is stretched out to my God.
Forget about the weariness of holding my hand high.
I am a deserted disturbed soul.  Psalm 77:3
I've dropped quite a few tears in those waters above.
I am so troubled that I cannot even speak.
But!
I will remember, meditate, ponder!  With my heart!

God's way is in the sea
that remains and holds such Mystery.
You cannot track any footsteps there.
O my soul, you have a safe Anchor.
Throw it out in your blackest of nights.
Trust in your dark seas.
God's Footprints will not be seen in any sea.

This Day of Trouble.
Is a Day of Prayer.
Name the diversions that this world draws you to pursue.
Attach your devotion to the One Safe Harbor.
The Captain of our soul.
.
Give us eyes to see what we are doing when the thick fog rolls over our lives and we are lost in a sea of circumstances.  We look to you when we walk in this present darkness.  And we believe, together, that you are a very Good God Who can part the waters when we need to walk through.  Our hope is in you this day--- not in any diversion---no matter how good or small.  May we run to Your Harbor, dear Captain of our soul.

PHOTO:  Saying goodbye to this spot where I raised my voice to God so many times. 

239 - "The Nearness of God" Psalm 73-75

 God, I reflect daily on what I'm doing with my life. 

Even though I'm a little older, do not forsake me.
Let me declare Your Strength to this generation.  Psalm 71:18.
I never used to be this evaluative.  (well, maybe...)
Receive my thoughts that I may find Your Grace in the traces of today.  

I do sometimes feel like I've been a beast before You. Nevertheless!
I am continually with You. You have taken hold of my right hand. 
With Your Counsel You will guide me. 
Whom have I in heaven but You? And besides You, 
I desire nothing on earth. 
My flesh and heart may fail, but God is the Strength of my heart. 
Psalm 73:22-24.

PRAYER FROM PSALMS

Psalm 73:27 is the prayer of my heart this day:
But as for me, the nearness of God is my good.
With all my hearth and strength, 
help me, this day, this circumstance, to make You my Refuge.
Not the solution to my problems.
Not the resolution of life's issues.
Not the crowning achievements that come our way.
May I find Refuge and Solace in You Alone.  

238 - "My Strength Is Spent" Psalm 71-72

What do I really think way down deep inside when my strength is spent? 

Physical strength shot. 

Emotional strength waning. 

Do I worship? 

Actually, days like today, I'm just trying to hold on and ask a Very Gracious God to help me see what surrounds me on days like today when my strength is spent. I spent it all last night. I am very aware that I awake with a fresh clean slate. But I don't want to spend the same strength again tonight. 

It's actually a very good position to be in---dependent. Psalm 71:9 

Forsake me not when my strength is spent. Psalm 71:20 

God has made me see many troubles and calamities. 

Why am I giving in to this weight of sin. My anger does not accomplish His righteousness. 

Talking to myself.

He will bring me up again! 

Revive me again---the word in the Greek for "revive" means: To breathe life into me.

That's it!

PHOTO:  Beyond grateful for God breathing life into me to raise up these precious people.  And there is four more of them. Grateful for the life breathed into them. Circa 2017. 

237 - "Do Not Hasten" Psalm 69-70; Romans 15

The ancient world saw God in the mountains.

The going out of this day shouts joy.
Yet, like David, we all face needs.
David writes:
"Save me, O God!
For the waters have come up to my neck.
I sink in deep mire,
where there is no foothold.  Psalm 69:2.
Deep waters, where the flood sweeps over.
Weary, so weary with crying.
Parched throats.
Dimmed eyes.
Waiting for my God.
Psalm 69:1-3

"May all who seek You
rejoice and be glad in You." 
May we all say
'God is great!' " Psalm 70:4
BUT
David says it: 
"But I am poor and needy;
hasten to me, O God.
Do Not Delay!"

We all need Him so.

O Lord, Do not delay.  Please hasten to our words, our hearts.  We are all poor and needy this day.  May we see how we can accomplish nothing today except through Your Power.  When will you come to us? The ancient days saw God in the mountains. We see Him in our hearts. Seal our hearts in Your Grace today.  Steady our ways.  Sweep us off our feet.  Show up in ways we don't expect.  And may you find us surrendered.

PHOTO:  The mighty mountains of Seattle.  Standing here a few weeks ago.  Seeing my deep need for dependence on God to make it through this life of mine.

236 - "Cling to Me As I Am or Re-shape Me into Who You Want Me To Be" Psalm 67-68

                                                           

How can we not be affected singing this psalm? I sat today in a high school baccalaureate where a high school student sang about God's presence coming for you. God's presence was in the church. Whatever the joys or angst or affliction we face this season of our life, keep your souls to the God Who loves you so. Bywords. Bystanders. Bylines. Even David's own children treated him as an enemy of their soul. 

"Either cling to me as I AM or reshape Me into Who you want Me to be." 66LL 

"In desperate confusion and anguish, you will know Me in ways no one knows Me in comfort." 66LL

"Every heartache will create space that You Alone can fill. And You will. Teach us this day to learn a little bit better what it means to wait in hope." 66LL

Image:http://www.flickr.com/photos/smithsonian/2941496890/sizes/m/in/photostream/

235 - "Don't Hasten" Psalm 63-66

You established the mountains.
You still the roaring seas.
We're in awe of You.
Psalm 65:6-7

The ancient world saw God in the mountains.

The going out of this day shouts joy.
Yet, like David, we all face needs.

O Lord, Do not delay.  Please hasten to our words, our hearts.  We are all poor and needy this day.  May we see how we can accomplish nothing today except through Your Power.  When will you come to us? Seal our hearts in Your Grace today.  Steady our ways.  Sweep us off our feet.  Show up in ways we don't expect. And may you find us surrendered.

PHOTO:  The mighty mountains of Seattle.  Standing here a few weeks ago.  Seeing my deep need for dependence on God to make it through this life of mine.

234 - "My Battle Belongs to God---that's Unshakeable Hope" Psalm 59-62

Psalm 59:10   God in Dependable Love shows up on time...
Whatever is happening in my life, it's right on Time.  I'm right on Time.

Psalm 59:17  Strong God, I'm watching you do it, 
      I can always count on you— God, my Dependable Love.

"Be killing sin or it will be killing you." John Owen

 God, kill everything in me that keeps me from an authentic Encounter with You...
Shine your light on me that I may see what you want me to do and how you want me to live and what I still hold too close.

 God what are your trying to wrestle out of my hands? 

PHOTO:  The uncomely pastures of Kansas.  Nothing spectacular here.  But something about standing in this pastoral place.  

233 - "Don't Barter for Anything Else to Enlighten You" Psalm 55-58

 

Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you. He will never allow the righteous to be shaken. Psalm 55:22. But as for me, I will trust in You. Psalm 55:23. Cast your burden on to the Lord. In the Hebrew, it means the "lot you were assigned" by God Himself. Some say it is David's words but the meaning of burden in the Hebrew is "gift." Even the cup of sorrow is a gift. Cast it on Him and He will never allow you to be moved more than you can bear. 

232 - "Hold Fast" Psalm 48-54

   

This is our God.

He will guide us.

We will tell the next generation.

This is our God.

Psalm 48:18

May the good Lord pardon everyone who sets his heart to seek God, the Lord, the God of his fathers.  2 Chron 30:19.  Oh God, please forgive us!  Pardon our ways of not remembering You in all we do.  

Hezekiah was one of the kings who held fast to the Lord. What does that mean to you and me? Hold fast. The Lord is with you. Do what is right in the eyes of the Lord.  

Two things to always hold on to and hold fast:

1. God is gracious and merciful and will not turn away from us.

2. The hand of God is on us to give us one heart to follow Him and His Word. None like Him. 

PHOTO:  8 years ago, A friend told me on a very dark night: Hold fast. I never forgot that moment. I need that moment tonight. Walking on this beach in Pensacola Beach. 

231 - "Be Still As the Stars" Psalm 46-47

 Isaiah 40 - it's a commission to all of God's ministers, you and me. Comfort God's people. Speak tenderly to them. Tell them they are forgiven. They will receive double from the Lord's hand. These people saw Jerusalem "ripening for ruin" and they couldn't help themselves. They were melancholy for good reasons. But they needed to look further. God had mercy in store. So, what's the point here. Comfort, you comfort. Doubled down. They needed it in the worst of times and so do we. Make straight in this desert, a highway for God. Every valley shall be lifted up and every mountain and hill be made low. The glory of the Lord shall be revealed. Isa 40:1-4

What an introduction! I am God! Be still. Know this! Such a beautiful way to introduce the offer. Take this comfort: I am with you. I am for you. That is what you use to answer your fear. Psalm 46:10 

The Hebrew word for "be still" means to let it fall; let the concerns hang down. Then, slack off, especially your hands. No exertion needed. Leave the matter with God. Oh! The Providence in all our problems. Oh! The Power in what we contemplate. Oh! That introduction! Take the comfort! 

PHOTO:  California coast. Still as the stars. Mysterious as royalty.

230 - "Strength to Strength" Psalm 40-45

Why do I fear in times of trouble? The sin of those who cheat me surrounds me. I am afraid that they won't change soon enough. I am afraid that they will get off without any verdict. They'll be passed over while I'm diligently working. My situation shouts to the cheaters whose sins bump up against mine this day. Maybe, they have wealth and can ease their way through. Blessed are those whose strength is in God, not in their wealth or position or ease. Where is my own heart this day? A highway to God? The psalmist's heart was set on God, set on a pilgrimage. "The very map to Jerusalem was written on that heart. His Love for God and for His house helped him make right decisions in life so that he did not go astray. ...The Valley of Baca is a name for any difficult and painful place in life, where everything seems hopeless and you feel helpless, like the pit of despair." W. Wiersbe The people who love God expect to pass through this valley and not remain there. "They dig a well." "They pray down the rain." W.W. "They go from strength to strength." Trusting God no matter what coup de grace befalls. Psalm 45: 1 My heart bursts its banks, spilling beauty and goodness. I pour it out in a poem to the king, shaping the river into words. Psalm 45: 10-12 With dazzling dresses and a procession of joy and wedding gifts pouring in; may the upcoming brides not miss a word. Forget your country, put your home behind you. Be here---the King is wild for you. 

 PHOTO: It's the street where they live.  Bob's dad. Bob's sister and family. Knock-dead view of Mount Rainier. Where you don't have to pray the rain down. It falls just about every day. Where you live from strength to strength.

229 - "This Is A Sermon" Psalm 37-39

Do not fret because of those who are evil. Do not envy those who do wrong. Because. Like the grass, they will soon wither one day. Psalm 37:2 Trust in the Lord and do good.

Take delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. Trust in Him and He will do this. Psalm 37:3.  This is a sermon, says the commentaries, "calculated not for our devotion, but for our conversation." 

It is Maschil---a teaching psalm. Fall Forward in Faith. No matter how bleak. No matter how black. It shall be "well with the soul of those who fear God." 

DEAR GOD, PLEASE CHANGE US IN OUR 10,000 MOMENTS OF LOOKING AT THE PROSPEROUS WICKED. May we long for the Hand of Providence in our lives. 

 PHOTO: Last walk at the. base of Mount Rainier. The sounds of God.

228 - “An Anchor in the Storm” Psalm 32-36

  

Oh David! The first words out of his mouth: "Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered." Psalm 32:1 God does not count this travesty against David. There is a rush of great waters for all of us. You are our Hiding Place. Psalm 32:7. Oh David! You moved through this under the Grace of God, the Power of God, the Goodness of God. Under The Mercy. Surrounded by the Steadfast Love of God.  Psalm 32:10

Have mercy on me, God. Blot out my sins. I cannot forget. You forgive! "Let's go to the house of God!" Psalm 122:1 Oh Father, there's not a person on earth who has not lived a day without being "curved in" on ourselves. In our secret hearts, forgive and Psalm 32:1 "You get a fresh start, your slate's wiped clean. God holds nothing against you and you're holding nothing back from him." How foolish of me to think that there is any good greater than the good of knowing God! Psalm 33:16-17 "No king succeeds with a big army alone, no warrior wins by brute strength. Horsepower is not the answer; no one gets by on muscle alone." Psalm 34:6 "When I was desperate, I called out, and got me out of a tight spot. God's angel sets up a circle of protection around us while we pray. "The struggle with fear and pain will continue. Only in the storm will you know there is an anchor...I've not wanted an anchor in the storm. I've wanted a quick trip to shore." No spiritual aspirin available. No anesthetic for my storms. Just a revelation of what life is like for the person who lives in the storm with his eyes fixed on Me. 66 LL 

PHOTO: Eatonville, Washington. The place where Bob's Mom & Dad lived. You walk down their driveway and expect to see them coming out. You hear those voices talking about life gone by. You see the snow-capped slopes from their windows. You long for one more conversation to say what's on your heart for them. My children's grandparents.

  

227 - "We Know Not What's In the Womb of Time til It is Born" Psalm 27-31

David's cruel and perfidious enemies assaulted him. They encompassed him. David gropes for words to express the impression his thoughts have made on his life. He gropes for words to express how desperate his condition would have been if he had not been supported by faith in God's promises. Even the best saints are subject to faint when their troubles become grievous and tedious; their spirits are overwhelmed, and their flesh and heart fail; but then faith is a sovereign cordial! Faith keeps us from drowning under our burdens; it keeps us hoping, and praying, and waiting; hope maintains in all of us honourable thoughts of God, and an expectation of relief in due time. But what belief was it that would keep David from fainting? That he should see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living — not only a continuance of the mercy and grace of God to his soul which he already possessed, but that he should outlive his troubles. David longed to see and enjoy in this life a deliverance from his enemies. The Land of the Living---David desired "this" mercy in "this" life not because he placed his portion in things but because he placed his whole life in truth and God's glory. That's it. I have been longing to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. O God, have mercy on me. Psalm 27:13-14 has been the biggest verse tugging on my heart for the past 52 years since I became a Christian. 

So...

"Do not boast about tomorrow,

for you do not know what a day may bring."

Proverbs 27:1

We can prepare for tomorrow,

we just cannot presume upon God and his moving.

We just can't promise that we will be here. All we know is that we have to rest tonight. The sun will go down. We have no info about tomorrow for good reason. To-day, while it is called, To-day, hear God's voice. We know not what is in the womb of time until it's born. Then, the One Who closes the books on To-day, the One who has kept us in the dark is the One who readies us for every second, every day.PHOTO: It's just me. Longing to see God's Goodness in the Land of the Living. Life's been hard. God's been good.

226 - "Live the Confusion in My Presence" Psalm 23-26

God promises to guide me through the Right Path.

Whatever I walk through this season and even overall, You, O LORD, are guiding me on the right path to find You. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death.  There's such Mystery to this life.  Somehow, we've constructed stories of experience or morality or principled living.  There is a right path. God is leading us to know Him better not figure things out. No Greater Love. No other place to be.  May we find the Sovereign God in the midst of what tugs at our hearts.  Psalm 23:3. 

"Face the hard questions that life requires you to ask.  Gather with other travelers on the narrow road, pilgrims who acknowledge their confusion and feel their fears.  Then together, live those questions in My Presence." 66LL.  O, to find Him in our struggles and not let the bad things define us. 

PHOTO: The San Antonio Missions. A watercourse.

225 - "Come Quickly" Psalm 19-22

                         

Some trust in chariots and some in horses,
    but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.
8 They are brought to their knees and fall,
    but we rise up and stand firm.
9 Lord, give victory to the king!
    Answer us when we call!
                Psalm 20

The news came unexpected today.
It's over our heads.
We're between a rock and a hard place.
We know not what to do.
Overwhelmed.
We will rise up.
We will stand firm.
By Your Mighty Power.
Because it is not within me to move forward on this.
This is David speaking.
He knew what it meant to embrace loss.
And we have lost something really big today.
Rise up, o my soul.
Stand firm, and see the salvation of God redeem my heart.

DEAR GOD:  PLEASE CHANGE ME IN THIS ONE OF 10,000 MOMENTS THAT MUST NOT DEFINE ME.  Help me to let go of how I think things should be, how things should fall, how things should play out. Give us Grace to face this rough patch.   not be far from me,
    for trouble is near
    and there is no one to help.

Psalm 22:11

My heart melts like wax. 

Do not be far from me. 

You are my strength. 

Come Quickly!

224 - "My World May Not Recognize Me But My God Does" Psalm 17-18

                                                               

On our way to these mountains in Seattle this weekend. A dark night of the soul within. A great joy of the day without. Confusion. Sadness. Aloneness. Yet, I am doing really fine because my God holds me tight. He is my main stay. He is working on my behalf. Illuminating my path. In those dark nights of the soul, those 3:00am awakenings, it is God visiting my soul by darkness, by night. Psa 17:3. In those dark nights of the soul, we will be satisfied with Your Likeness when we awake. As for me... Awake, o my soul! Psa 17:15. What would it mean to behold your Face in righteousness in the midst of these thoughts that I hold. My world is crumbling and my God will so hold me together and all that concerns me. The LORD was/is my stay.

God brought me forth into a broad place where I can stand without having to wonder. He rescued me because He delights in me---maybe my world does not, He does! And I believe that! Psa 18:19. My God is illuminating all of my darkness. Psa 18:29. I may not see a lot happening this very day but as I reflect back, so much has changed. Change takes time. Doesn't happen overnight. My dark patches, incomprehensible shadows will be made clear one day. Until then, I trust smack dab in the middle of confusion, disconcerting news, and a world that has no place for me. But I am here to live, to love, to give, to move. I no longer need my world to come through for me. ~ Acts 20:24. 

God fills us all. Fills all those empty spaces. You know, He is looking for empty spaces today. John of the Cross said it this way: The Spirit of God cannot pass a soul with empty places without filling it with Himself. Search and find Him---He is here.He brought me forth into a broad place where I can stand without having to wonder. He rescued me because He delights in me---maybe my world does not, He does! And I believe that! Psa 18:19

PHOTO: Mount Rainier.

223 - "Expect Your Theological Boxes To Explode" Psalm 15-16; Romans 2

O Lord, who shall sojourn in your tent? Who shall dwell on your holy hill? Psalm 15:1 David pleads to God for mercy, for help. All our world depends on this. Beg for directions. to know what it takes "to be" and "to do" His will. Walk blameless - is it possible. Do what is right - it is possible, only in His Power.  Let me not barter for Anything Else to enlighten me. You have not forgotten. You see this thing that is happening to me. I will bless the LORD Who has counseled me. O God, please let my mind instruct me even this night. Because You are at my right hand, I will not be shaken in what comes my way.  "Expect your theological boxes to explode, to lose all false hope in what My Love will provide in this life. We've built these thoughts that life should happen a certain way. And what happens when it doesn't? May we be shaken and stirred to find this new way of thinking. The abandoned life to Christ. Because He is God and we are not." 

You make known to me the path of life;
you will fill me with joy in your presence,
with eternal pleasures at your right hand.
Psalm 16:11

The Captain of our soul.  There is a Guide in these verses Who leads us all the way.
The Traveler.  There is a singular person referred to in this passage:  me.  It is I alone who travels the path of life.  I make my own decisions.  No one makes them for me.  I chart my course.  It is I.  
The Path. It is a winding uphill road all the way.  Filled with hard things.  Filled with His Presence, if we only take Him by the hand.

The End.  Wandering pilgrims going home.  Eternal pleasures are ours. 

Oh God, thank you for this Book of Romans. 
And I praise you for my friends who are faithful to You.
And I pray for each friend who reads here about your Vision, your inspired words.   For what we weep for this day, for our deep cares, may your Vision not delay.  Come Lord Jesus on all of us that we may serve Our Creator and not created things.  Draw our hearts near to You! Paul proves that Jews and Gentiles stand upon the same level ground before the justice of God. Rom. 2:10. What I may not see, God directs. Leave the matter in his lap.  

PHOTO: A quick trip to California to an unbelievable retreat for cancer survivors. They found me somehow. One thought I walked away with from Bob Goff: There are no titles to the chapters being written today. One Day you will know!

222 - "Sovereign Steps" Psalm 10-14; Romans 1

                                                      

A Doomed Star. 

We may feel doomed to a death we cannot stop. 

There is nothing that God cannot do with us to raise us up again to life. 

Alive to God! Psalm 9:13 - You lift me up from the gates of death. Providence.

 There is nothing in this world that can keep God from raising us up to life, back again, one more time. 

He raised me up 18 years ago when I felt all but left for dead. 

He raised me up 15 years ago when I faced my own mortality---cancer stricken.

 Cancer free. Today. You, O God, have raised us up from the dead over and over again. 

Sovereign Steps. Where there is sorrow in my day, enlighten my eyes.

Arise on the helpless! God, lift up Your Hand! Psalm 10:12 

I walked the long lonely corridor of further testing. Bob did too this week. Something was wrong. Helpless, I lay on the gurney. Arise, O God. Three random texts come in---- God is holding you. No coincidence as I sat alone in a hospital of thousands. Held. 

Make room in your thoughts for God - Psalm 10:4 

Wonder when there is no room for God. A prayer for God Himself to appear. 

To manifest His Presence and Providence in the affairs of my little lower world. 

Arise, O God, on the helpless.

We are not doomed.

The morning beams ushered in this Sun of Righteousness for this very life, this very day, this very moment, and these very feelings. Undeniable proof as we travel through the Book of Romans.  What was written in antiquity now is now alive. "Arise. Shine. For your Light is come." Isaiah 60:1.  Grace to you and peace. Romans 1:7.  With great affection and powerful authority, this blessing is for you on this day and always.  Sweet Grace: the favor of God on us and the work of God in us.  Great Peace: peace with God, peace with our own conscience, peace with all that surrounds us.  "Grace to you and peace."  A Resurrected God is resurrecting me. 

PHOTO:  Free Copyright photos. Smithsonian.

221 - "Dark Night of The Soul" Psalm 4-9; Romans 2

Give ear to my words, O Lord; consider my groaning. Give attention to the sound of my cry, my King and my God, for to you do I pray. Lord, in the morning you hear my voice . . . Psalm 5:2-3. David wrestles through betrayal of his father-in-law, adultery, murder, betrayal of his son. David turns to the Only One Who can help him get over all of this. David knows it is God's Hand that has come down on him. David's heart throbs; his strength fails; his eyes are no longer lit. Psalm 38:10 David pants not for relief, recovery or resolve. David's soul pants for God. Psalm 42:1-2. David feels great turmoil still. Has God forgotten? "Hope in God; for I shall again praise Him, my salvation and my God." Psalm 42:4 When we are in the deepest darkest night of our soul, know this: We shall again praise Him. God is working in our lives through all the goings and comings. This beloved king has faced difficulties beyond measure. More than most see in a lifetime. David does not find answers to his cries. David finds Something Better. Salvation for his soul. David longs for the Great Captain of his soul not just for an anchor in the storms. No false hope here. It's the real thing. Father, may we long for what really matters in life and not just for the resolution of all of that overwhelms us. May we long for You in the midst of every storm, every conversation, every dinner, every walk, every daily duty. In all of our thoughts and intentions, may we seek You to be our Great Captain this day and forward. Ps 4:1 - Answer my Evening Prayer. Be gracious. Hear this prayer of my heart at the end of the day. Ps 5:3 - Now, in the Morning, I will order my Prayer to You and eagerly watch today. Ps 6:8 - The LORD hears the voice of my weeping. Ps 7:9 - Probe my mind and my heart and make me secure. 

 Doomed Star. We may feel doomed to a death we cannot stop. There is nothing that God cannot do with us to raise us up again to life. Alive to God! Psalm 9:13 - You lift me up from the gates of death. Providence. There is nothing in this world that can keep God from raising us up to life, back again, one more time. He raised me up 17 years ago when I felt all but left for dead. He raised me up 14 years ago when I faced my own mortality---cancer stricken. Cancer free. Today. You, O God, have raised us up from the dead over and over again. Sovereign Steps. Where there is sorrow in my day, enlighten my eyes.    

PHOTO: The full harvest moon shimmering on July 4 over all of our nation. Dark nights of the soul.

220 - "I Have Installed My King" Psalm 1-3; Romans 1

We open the book of Psalms. It's a Hand reaching out to grasp ours in the midst of our storms and tears and confusion and fears. I have assumed wrongly about life: I have wanted God to step in and rescue me from all my struggles with people and life. Relieve me of this oppression. Replace it with Rest. But what God did: He has used my Job experiences "to uncover a Rest beneath the struggle that no Anguish can destroy. The struggle with fear and pain will continue. Only in the storm will you know There is an Anchor." 66LL. This is not what my world tells me. My world wants me to have no struggles, no worries, no pain. If you do, people assume that you are: Not walking with God. Not trusting God. Not understanding God and His Goodness. Not in God's will. All of the Above. A friend said to me the other day: "Let's just be positive and trust God." Or, in other words: Let's just deny what is really going on. Ps 1:1 - Blessed is the man who doesn't walk in the counsel of his disillusioned friends but in Truth. Ps 2:6 - As for me, I have installed my King...I take Refuge in God not things working out. >Ps 3:3 - You, O LORD, are a Shield about me, the One Who lifts my head through t.h.i.s. PHOTO: The trees in front of Robyn's house in Pagosa Springs. Behind me, the San Juan Forest burning unexpectedly, uncontrollably, unnerving. Meditate on these psalms day and night.

219 - "Now My Eyes See You" Job 40-42

“Will the one who contends with the Almighty correct him?
Let him who accuses God answer him!”
Then Job answered the Lord:
      “I am unworthy—how can I reply to you?
I put my hand over my mouth.
Job 40:2-4
And God answers once again.
This time from a storm.

We are not prosecutors in this life of ours.
God is not the defendant.
He is the king.

May we learn to wrestle well.  This day.
With hands over our classy mouths.  
With hearts right over our clenched fists.
With heads held high over our cluttered minds.

I put my hand over my mouth.Where was I when this was created?

Not even alive.  Not even a thought.

"Then the Lord said to Job: Will the faultfinder contend with the Almighty? Let him who reproves God answer it.” Job 40:2
Job's Answer to his LORD is just beautiful and forces one to deal with those existential questions: Who is God and what is He up to in Job's life; in my life; in your life.  
Job's Response: Behold, I am insignificant; what can I reply to You. I lay my hand on my mouth. Job 40:4 "I will add no more."
"I have heard of you, God, by the hearing of the ear;
But now my eye sees You.  Job 42:5-6

Therefore, I 
Retract and I
Repent in Dust and Ashes.
When God comes up from behind and we sense His Presence
When God comes up through strangers unaware
When God comes up within and we know His Goodness,
When God comes up to surprise us to uncover His Goodness ...
and we learn that
We are not the Prosecuting Attorney.
God is not the Defendant. 
Nor does He need us to defend Him and
pretend that all is well even though He has allowed suffering.
"God extinguished all the lights that had been guiding Job on a pleasant path through life, in order to gain entrance into Job's heart with Light of His Presence."66LL  Are we mad that God has nudged us off the pleasant path?  There is only One Source.  There is only One Light.  We want God to undo all our problems and steer us back to that pleasant path.  But, God is uncovering His Beauty, His Presence in you and me.  So be it.  Amen & Amen. 

With my hand over my mouth.

"Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me." Psalm 51:10

PHOTO:  Tacoma, Washington. Standing on a garbage dump looking out over majestic mountains. 

218 - "Where Are You? At Your Wits End?" Job 38-39; Acts 28

And where were you when I laid the foundations of this earth?

What causes a man to repent?  When he hears the words of God?  When he humbles himself before the Everlasting to Everlasting Hope.  When he bows his heart before Divine Providence giving full sway.  When he sees with the eyes of his heart that God even provides prey for ravens---why not for me?  Job 38:41.  

God calls to Job to compare his little life with God's Everlasting One; compare the Omniscient God with his limited knowledge; compare the Mighty Power of God in the seas where we cannot find Him, with our limitless wordless power.  

From a whirlwind God speaks.  That's enough to get anyone's attention.  "Dress for action like a man.  I will question you and you make it known to me:  Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth?"  Job 38:4.  Where are you, Adam?  Where were you, Job?  And where am I?

COME BOLDLY p. 201

"Be yourself exactly before God, and present your problems, the things you know you have come to your wits' end about."  Oswald Chambers could not have said it more fittingly for my life, this day.  Wits' end.  So, help me tie the knot and hang on.  Make us different this day as we pray to be strong and fear not.  "Say to those who have an anxious heart, "Be strong; fear not!" Isaiah 35:4.  

PHOTO:  Quarries Lake in Austin Texas.  Pondering this day.  Where am I?

217 - "Listen For The Sounds of God" Job 35-37 Acts 27

                                                          

It was the Sound of God that I heard 8 years ago 1/13/2006. Never have I ever been more persuaded and convinced by a very Good God Who allowed some suffering in my life that has turned into way more good than I could have ever imagined. Look at where I am today. That Great Divide was the best thing that ever happened to me. At the time, I literally thought it to be the worst. And I spiraled down into a depression that I never knew even existed. And my God showed up in my life like never before. When I told Beth Moore at a conference what had happened, she replied to me: Ezekiel 8:3. God has yanked you by the head of your hair and lifted you up. Go. And everywhere I turned, people would share with me Jonah 2:8. I'd turn the radio on and they would be talking about it. I'd go to church and it would be in the sermon: do not miss the Grace of God passing you by. 

Listen to the Sounds of God. 

Keep listening for the Thunder of His Voice, Job. Job 37:3. 

Job is listening but he doesn't hear---and he needs to ask himself why he is not hearing the Sound of God. We all need to ask ourselves today: do we hear the Sound of God in our lives? Elihu is about to hear That Thunder too. 

"It is no surprise that the Bible uses hearing, not seeing, as the predominant image for the way human beings know God. They can't walk around God and take God in like a cathedral or an artichoke. They can only listen to time for the Sound of God---to the good times and bad times of their own lives for the words God is addressing to, of all people, them." (Frederick Buechner, Beyond Words.)

And God speaks out of a whirlwind. To his child who lost 10 children. To his child who lost his health. To his child who lost his community. He sent a whirlwind not a spa. And God asks Job five dozen questions! "Who is this that darkens counsel by words without knowledge...Job 38:2; Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth?" Have you ever commanded the sun to rise and the morning stars sang? What am I doing in this little life of mine? Do I live with the awareness of a very Present God holding all things together, even me. Do I live with expectations for God to show up in soft whispers to a broken world. Do I believe that the abundant life of John 10:10 holds expectations of my own thinking. This is A God Who shows up in a whirlwind to a hurting, broken son of God. Nothing soft about this. Help me to see the reality of what stirs in the Whirlwind of my own soul this very day. Give us eyes to see and ears to hear the Sound of your Voice from the Whispers to the Whirlwinds and all in-between. 

After all of Job’s suffering, God decides to speak to him from a “whirlwind” not a whisper (Job 38:1). Often, Scripture uses this violent weather system as a metaphor for God’s wrath or destruction.  

I am so quick to think that God is broadly brutally admonishing Job and destruction will be swift. Shame. Yet, God's speech reminds Job that God is the Creator who superintends all things. Everything is created, upheld, sustained, and restored by God. Rhetorical questions were used in the Hebrew culture by fathers leading their children to discipleship (Notes from Joel Muddamalle). 

PHOTO:  Stock photos. Free copyright. God speaks out of a whirlwind not a whisper.

216 "Better To Fall Into The Hands of God than the Hands of Men" Job 33-34

Oh, the Grandeur of what God has done on this earth and in our hearts.

Oh, the Arrogance at what we have thought we could have done better.

Job 33:13 ~ Why is Job complaining about what God is doing?

There are parts of this story about Job and his fair-weather friends that are simply so sad.  Here's a man who has lost his 10 children. Lost his good health.  Lost his community.  Job does not even have one child to console him about the death of the others.  There are no words in the English language to communicate the extent of this devastating loss.  No Words.  Instead!  An Accusation of his sin:  ~ Job 34:36 ~ It appears that Job needs to be tested to the utmost for answering and questioning God but that is not the rendering of these words. God shows "the Satan" which is a position not a person, that here is a man who loves God. Job loves God for Who He is. He has every earthly reason to give up. He has all of God to hang on to. Look at what is not being said: Job is not cursing God; Job is not asking for blessings. This story is all about restoration not about sin. And the words of David fall into play:  It is better to fall into the Hands of God rather than into the hands of men (Heb 10:34). Job knew that. He was imperfectly fully committed to God and God knew it. God treated Job with utmost respect and "personal sentiment"---Job is  "my servant." 

Why can't we fall forward into Loving Arms and speak our heart?  God will make us aright.  He will set us back on our feet again.  He will make all things new. Our God, this very moment, is knocking on the door of our hearts---a progressive move, Rev. 3:20.  Why won't we listen?  God is Powerful, Omniscient, and Good in our darkest days.  Trust.  How can we not?  To Whom else shall we go?  To What else this day?

The ears test words like the tongue tastes food. Job 34:3-4. Let us discern together what is right and learn what is good. May we all listen to words that matter for our lives. Job 34:29 "if God is silent" ... then what? What stirs in you as we read chapter after chapter after chapter about a man who lost his 10 children? Job is trying to make sense of his suffering. Suffering with no explanation. Elihu explodes cause evidently the older generation should make sense of it all. What's his pull? What stirs in you? I keep thinking about how Job and his wife lost their 10 children and I wonder what God is saying to Job in his silence? I keep thinking of a very old quote: "The first step to sanctity is self-knowledge." Job is wrestling with what is really going on inside of him. "If we stay within the darkness, stick close to the Cross, through death we will come to know the God Who reveals Himself in the process of dying and renewal." Something beautiful is happening to Job on the inside. We know that because we know the rest of the story. Am I staying within my own darkness, sticking close to His Cross, and dying to my pride and fears so that He may reveal and renew my spirit. Have mercy on us, O God! God is speaking through His Word. What matters more than listening and living. It seems strange as we read this story that Job's friends could not see what was going on inside of their hearts. God spoke directly to their hearts in those days. They had no Word of God; held no pages to turn. How far was Ur from the Garden of Eden? How many stories had been passed along since Creation? All we know at this point is the Creation Story, Adam & Eve, Cain and Abel, the Tower of Babel. And then, a righteous man, in a far off city of Ur. A man accused of saying "my wound is incurable, though I am without transgression." Job 34:6. Where on earth was the compassion of these men? I mean, he lost 10 children. We are not punished for our sins. And there is truth in Job 32:8 that it is the spirit in man, the breath of the Almighty, that makes man understand. O God, help us to understand, to know wisdom, for the place where we sit this day. 

PHOTO:  The Grandeur. Washington State. Where my husband grew up and found God. 

215 "I Am Just A Byword" Job 31-32; Acts 26

Every day God signs the skies.

His Signature. 

Job wanted to write his signature on his words to God.

Have you ever thought you were that right? I mean really right!  And more right than God.
Save us, God, from ourselves. 

Job visits the past: "when the Almighty was yet with me, 
when my children were all around me,

when my steps were washed away."  The devil gets us to live in the past or in the future. He does not want us to live in the present. God is driving out the evil from all of us self-swindlers. Job's signature wanes. Job stands tall against the enemy of his soul.  We look back into Job's story. Job is looking forward thinking that probably his suffering will not end but Somehow--- Evil will not win in this.

Job feels he is just a byword now.  Job 31:11 - "Now that God has unstrung my bow and afflicted me, they throw off restraint in my presence."  When we are "too much" for people, they throw us off, not willing to sit with those who have no answers.  Like all of us, Job is learning here that we are not the prosecutor nor the defender of God in dealing with our problems.  So what's the true point:  "Love seeks the deepest well-being of another.  If that requires suffering, then love permits and, sometimes, brings about suffering.  But love never allows more suffering than is necessary to achieve the well-being of the beloved."  (Larry Crabb).  Our stories stir others and whatever ripples out of them comes from their hearts of good or bad.  What will it be in our affliction?

John Bunyan writes that it is not the power of the pen or the spoken word but the very spirit of God Who changes us. "Nothing less than the Spirit of God" can make us praying women. Father, as we see Your Signature over the stories of our days, our lives, help us each one to ask for Your Wisdom and Your Power to for what it is that we face this present moment. Help us to be present and name what is not of You.  

PHOTO: The sun sets on Waco, Texas. It's the same sun wherever you live. But it sets on our stories from every kind of wrestle. This sun set on my aloneness---what will I do with it?

214 - "He Mustered Every Ounce of Trust in a Good God Who Took Away His Right" Job 28-29

When the waters stir.  Here are the words of a man who has lost more than we can fathom.  A man trying to muster every ounce of trust in a Good God Who "has taken away my right, the Almighty, who has made my soul bitter."  And Job promises that as long as he has breath, he will not speak falsehood nor deceive.  My problem is not thinking I am righteous, I know I'm not.  Job was the other side of the coin. "I will not put away my integrity from me."  Job 28:5.  The last disaster that I was in caused me to question the motives of others rather than pursue righteousness and pursue what was going on inside of my own heart.  Job may be boastful of his righteousness but he is falling forward in a direction where few land.  And he said: "Behold, the fear of the Lord, that is wisdom." Job longed for wisdom!  May it be the cry of our hearts in the midst of any mess.  Wisdom far above the price of gold and jewels.  Is that what I long for in the midst of my health issues?  Job did.  That a man could live with no reproach, in such enormous suffering, and not let go of his trust in a Good God! No words. 

Oh, Father, may we drink deeply from the words of this man who loved you so.  Job didn't believe that You owed him a better life.  He did think his righteousness should please you.  If only we all could see the depths of our sinful nature and how we use You.  All the while, you are empowering and enabling each one of us to become the men and women You have called us to be.  Grant us Grace to face the place where we live.

PHOTO:  Pensacola Beach, Florida. Credit of Flickr, Commons.  I've stood on this pier when the waves crashed just like that in my heart.  I've spilled tears here.  And I fell forward on a very Good God.

213 - "Hold Fast, my Righteousness" Job 24-27

                                                 

Called to the unbelievers in Ireland, he gave of himself even though some despised him. He did not allow their rejection to swerve him from his cause. Just found out from Ancestry that my ancestors are predominantly from Ireland. Fascinating. And St. Patrick wrote:

"Christ beside me, Christ before me, Christ behind me, Christ within me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me." (St. Patrick The Confession of St. Patrick).

No hierarchy in God's Kingdom.  No big people and little people in Job’s day.  We are all his brothers and sisters and mothers.  Not in the world in which I live! ... where I am not recognized nor sought after—-I feel forgoten and invisible most days ... but in God's Kingdom His Pursuit of me is relentless, inexpressible, incessant. Live to love not to be loved. Live to serve not to be served. 

Job isn't recognized anymore by his friends or his community.  Job's reply:  Job 27:2 “As God lives, Who has taken away my right, and the Almighty, who has made my soul bitter, as long as my breath is in me, and the spirit of God is in my nostrils, my lips will not speak falsehood, and my tongue will not utter deceit."  

Job 27:6 "Hold fast, my Righteousness." Hold fast, my Friend. As long as breath is in us. What is our hope when God cuts us off?  This we know, the Almighty is always doing us good, even in suffering.  Hold fast! Those two words mean a great deal to me. My counselor, Bruce, for 3 years frequently ended with “hold fast.” It’s what I remember. It’s a beautiful theme to live by. Hold Fast. I think of my bff Nancy who lost 18-year-old Drew in a tragic auto accident. That’s what she has done—-held fast to Him all the rest of her days. 

PHOTO:  It's one of my favorite spots on earth.  We are headed there on Friday. Clear Lake overlooking Mount Rainier.  And my heart h.e.r.e. overflows today as I bid my spot farewell and Turn Around to face some problems that I cannot articulate.  Overflowing with gratitude for I am more persuaded, more convinced, more oh-so-sure, that my God is fighting for me in Untold Unseen Ways

212 - "Can't Figure God Out, Then Give Up the Illusion of Control and Predicting...Discover the Freedom of Hope" Job 20-23

                                                         

"I go forward, but he is not there, and backward, but I do not perceive Him; on the left hand when he is working, I do not behold him; he turns to the right hand, but I do not see him. But God knows the way that I take." Such beauty from the heart of Job. Followed by a haughty confidence that Job will come out as gold. And it is that statement right here that Job will repent of uttering---that all his uprightness being tried by God will produce good gold. Oh, may we see what stirs within us. May we see what remains in our lives as permitted by a very Good God to drive me to Him as my Center, my Source, my All. God was silent to Job. The dark night of the soul. And Job continued to fall forward and sit before God in mystery. And Job is learning just like you and me to rest before God in trust of whatever He does.  Job knew way down deep that his suffering was not punishment for his sin that he could stop by living better. In our darkest nights, there is hope that awaits and invites us to love in ways we never knew. "When we cannot figure God out, we will give up the illusion of predictability and control and discover the joy and freedom of hope." Father, You never allow more suffering than necessary for our very best life. That's what the sages say. That's what I wrestle with. It's just hard to fathom how much as in the story of Job. Help this next generation to see things from your perspective. Help us all to live like this servant of yours who kept coming back to you day after day, wrestling with the deep things. 

 PHOTO: The place I went to wrestle back when I lived in Austin for these past 17 years. So many tears dropped into this quarries lake. 

211 - "My Redeemer Will Stand on the Earth" Job 16-19

So socialized to religion, to tradition, to authoritative friends, I couldn't question God when the bottom of my world fell out. These words. Points me to wrestle well with God. Job 19:25. I know my Redeemer lives and One Day He will stand on the earth. The most amazing thought. Back-and-forth dialogue between Job and friends and God. Shut out/ shut down. Job marshals the language of the court. He wants his words not etched in destructible books but engraved on durable stone for all generations. His good counselors were none. May we learn to wrestle real with God. What does that mean? Jacob knew in all his messy life. 

PHOTO: Lady Bird Lake, Austin Texas, where I contemplate how to wrestle with the God of the universe. We know the ending and He will stand here. He knows the way I have to take to get There.

210 - "Pain Unassuaged" Job 14-15

God numbers my steps: doesn't He watch over my every sin? It is sealed up in a bag. Fastened tight. Job 14:16

"Persecution so persistent would wear out the strongest," says Matthew Henry. He goes on to say: Does God destroy the hope of man in his own overwhelming personal pain? 

For now! You know, Job knew and believed in a God who would help and deliver him. But this disaster upon disaster was like it was too much for him to still believe that God was doing something in this. All his sins sealed up like endictments of how much he had done wrong. We look back on Job's day. We know truth in ways he did not. Job's depravity prevails here. He sees his God as going too far against him and his family. 

  
"The Lord must prevail against all who contend with him. God may send disease and pain, we may lose all comfort in those near and dear to us, every hope of earthly happiness may be destroyed, but God will receive the believer into realms of eternal happiness." Matthew Henry
Do not seal up my transgressions in a bag, nor note my iniquities in thy register." He doesn't!

Job's friends called his tears poured out to God "windy knowledge," Job 15:2, "unprofitable talk."  They went so far as to say that Job is doing away with the fear of God. Job 15:4.  Oh!  This father sits in an enormous enigma.  His pain is so overwhelming that he cannot see straight to God.  And, yet, his "miserable comforters" inquire if God's comforts are too small for Job?  May we hold our wisdom for we walk not in those moccasins. 

C.S. Lewis said that when pain is to be born, a little courage helps more than much knowledge from your friends, a little human sympathy means more than much courage, and the least tincture of the Love of God is more than all of that.  May we give away this day the Love of God.  Help us to reach deep to love deeply. 

PHOTO:  The view of the base of Mount Rainier in Eatonville.  A few tears had just spilled out.  Jesus had nowhere to lay his head.  He understands aloneness.  Job was so alone in this.  From the top of the world to safe in His Savior's Arms, still and alone.