220 - "I Have Installed My King" Psalm 1-3; Romans 1

We open the book of Psalms. It's a Hand reaching out to grasp ours in the midst of our storms and tears and confusion and fears. I have assumed wrongly about life: I have wanted God to step in and rescue me from all my struggles with people and life. Relieve me of this oppression. Replace it with Rest. But what God did: He has used my Job experiences "to uncover a Rest beneath the struggle that no Anguish can destroy. The struggle with fear and pain will continue. Only in the storm will you know There is an Anchor." 66LL. This is not what my world tells me. My world wants me to have no struggles, no worries, no pain. If you do, people assume that you are: Not walking with God. Not trusting God. Not understanding God and His Goodness. Not in God's will. All of the Above. A friend said to me the other day: "Let's just be positive and trust God." Or, in other words: Let's just deny what is really going on. Ps 1:1 - Blessed is the man who doesn't walk in the counsel of his disillusioned friends but in Truth. Ps 2:6 - As for me, I have installed my King...I take Refuge in God not things working out. >Ps 3:3 - You, O LORD, are a Shield about me, the One Who lifts my head through t.h.i.s. PHOTO: The trees in front of Robyn's house in Pagosa Springs. Behind me, the San Juan Forest burning unexpectedly, uncontrollably, unnerving. Meditate on these psalms day and night.

219 - "Now My Eyes See You" Job 40-42

“Will the one who contends with the Almighty correct him?
Let him who accuses God answer him!”
Then Job answered the Lord:
      “I am unworthy—how can I reply to you?
I put my hand over my mouth.
Job 40:2-4
And God answers once again.
This time from a storm.

We are not prosecutors in this life of ours.
God is not the defendant.
He is the king.

May we learn to wrestle well.  This day.
With hands over our classy mouths.  
With hearts right over our clenched fists.
With heads held high over our cluttered minds.

I put my hand over my mouth.Where was I when this was created?

Not even alive.  Not even a thought.

"Then the Lord said to Job: Will the faultfinder contend with the Almighty? Let him who reproves God answer it.” Job 40:2
Job's Answer to his LORD is just beautiful and forces one to deal with those existential questions: Who is God and what is He up to in Job's life; in my life; in your life.  
Job's Response: Behold, I am insignificant; what can I reply to You. I lay my hand on my mouth. Job 40:4 "I will add no more."
"I have heard of you, God, by the hearing of the ear;
But now my eye sees You.  Job 42:5-6

Therefore, I 
Retract and I
Repent in Dust and Ashes.
When God comes up from behind and we sense His Presence
When God comes up through strangers unaware
When God comes up within and we know His Goodness,
When God comes up to surprise us to uncover His Goodness ...
and we learn that
We are not the Prosecuting Attorney.
God is not the Defendant. 
Nor does He need us to defend Him and
pretend that all is well even though He has allowed suffering.
"God extinguished all the lights that had been guiding Job on a pleasant path through life, in order to gain entrance into Job's heart with Light of His Presence."66LL  Are we mad that God has nudged us off the pleasant path?  There is only One Source.  There is only One Light.  We want God to undo all our problems and steer us back to that pleasant path.  But, God is uncovering His Beauty, His Presence in you and me.  So be it.  Amen & Amen. 

With my hand over my mouth.

"Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me." Psalm 51:10

PHOTO:  Tacoma, Washington. Standing on a garbage dump looking out over majestic mountains. 

218 - "Where Are You? At Your Wits End?" Job 38-39; Acts 28

And where were you when I laid the foundations of this earth?

What causes a man to repent?  When he hears the words of God?  When he humbles himself before the Everlasting to Everlasting Hope.  When he bows his heart before Divine Providence giving full sway.  When he sees with the eyes of his heart that God even provides prey for ravens---why not for me?  Job 38:41.  

God calls to Job to compare his little life with God's Everlasting One; compare the Omniscient God with his limited knowledge; compare the Mighty Power of God in the seas where we cannot find Him, with our limitless wordless power.  

From a whirlwind God speaks.  That's enough to get anyone's attention.  "Dress for action like a man.  I will question you and you make it known to me:  Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth?"  Job 38:4.  Where are you, Adam?  Where were you, Job?  And where am I?

COME BOLDLY p. 201

"Be yourself exactly before God, and present your problems, the things you know you have come to your wits' end about."  Oswald Chambers could not have said it more fittingly for my life, this day.  Wits' end.  So, help me tie the knot and hang on.  Make us different this day as we pray to be strong and fear not.  "Say to those who have an anxious heart, "Be strong; fear not!" Isaiah 35:4.  

PHOTO:  Quarries Lake in Austin Texas.  Pondering this day.  Where am I?

217 - "Listen For The Sounds of God" Job 35-37 Acts 27

                                                          

It was the Sound of God that I heard 8 years ago 1/13/2006. Never have I ever been more persuaded and convinced by a very Good God Who allowed some suffering in my life that has turned into way more good than I could have ever imagined. Look at where I am today. That Great Divide was the best thing that ever happened to me. At the time, I literally thought it to be the worst. And I spiraled down into a depression that I never knew even existed. And my God showed up in my life like never before. When I told Beth Moore at a conference what had happened, she replied to me: Ezekiel 8:3. God has yanked you by the head of your hair and lifted you up. Go. And everywhere I turned, people would share with me Jonah 2:8. I'd turn the radio on and they would be talking about it. I'd go to church and it would be in the sermon: do not miss the Grace of God passing you by. 

Listen to the Sounds of God. 

Keep listening for the Thunder of His Voice, Job. Job 37:3. 

Job is listening but he doesn't hear---and he needs to ask himself why he is not hearing the Sound of God. We all need to ask ourselves today: do we hear the Sound of God in our lives? Elihu is about to hear That Thunder too. 

"It is no surprise that the Bible uses hearing, not seeing, as the predominant image for the way human beings know God. They can't walk around God and take God in like a cathedral or an artichoke. They can only listen to time for the Sound of God---to the good times and bad times of their own lives for the words God is addressing to, of all people, them." (Frederick Buechner, Beyond Words.)

And God speaks out of a whirlwind. To his child who lost 10 children. To his child who lost his health. To his child who lost his community. He sent a whirlwind not a spa. And God asks Job five dozen questions! "Who is this that darkens counsel by words without knowledge...Job 38:2; Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth?" Have you ever commanded the sun to rise and the morning stars sang? What am I doing in this little life of mine? Do I live with the awareness of a very Present God holding all things together, even me. Do I live with expectations for God to show up in soft whispers to a broken world. Do I believe that the abundant life of John 10:10 holds expectations of my own thinking. This is A God Who shows up in a whirlwind to a hurting, broken son of God. Nothing soft about this. Help me to see the reality of what stirs in the Whirlwind of my own soul this very day. Give us eyes to see and ears to hear the Sound of your Voice from the Whispers to the Whirlwinds and all in-between. 

After all of Job’s suffering, God decides to speak to him from a “whirlwind” not a whisper (Job 38:1). Often, Scripture uses this violent weather system as a metaphor for God’s wrath or destruction.  

I am so quick to think that God is broadly brutally admonishing Job and destruction will be swift. Shame. Yet, God's speech reminds Job that God is the Creator who superintends all things. Everything is created, upheld, sustained, and restored by God. Rhetorical questions were used in the Hebrew culture by fathers leading their children to discipleship (Notes from Joel Muddamalle). 

PHOTO:  Stock photos. Free copyright. God speaks out of a whirlwind not a whisper.

216 "Better To Fall Into The Hands of God than the Hands of Men" Job 33-34

Oh, the Grandeur of what God has done on this earth and in our hearts.

Oh, the Arrogance at what we have thought we could have done better.

Job 33:13 ~ Why is Job complaining about what God is doing?

There are parts of this story about Job and his fair-weather friends that are simply so sad.  Here's a man who has lost his 10 children. Lost his good health.  Lost his community.  Job does not even have one child to console him about the death of the others.  There are no words in the English language to communicate the extent of this devastating loss.  No Words.  Instead!  An Accusation of his sin:  ~ Job 34:36 ~ It appears that Job needs to be tested to the utmost for answering and questioning God but that is not the rendering of these words. God shows "the Satan" which is a position not a person, that here is a man who loves God. Job loves God for Who He is. He has every earthly reason to give up. He has all of God to hang on to. Look at what is not being said: Job is not cursing God; Job is not asking for blessings. This story is all about restoration not about sin. And the words of David fall into play:  It is better to fall into the Hands of God rather than into the hands of men (Heb 10:34). Job knew that. He was imperfectly fully committed to God and God knew it. God treated Job with utmost respect and "personal sentiment"---Job is  "my servant." 

Why can't we fall forward into Loving Arms and speak our heart?  God will make us aright.  He will set us back on our feet again.  He will make all things new. Our God, this very moment, is knocking on the door of our hearts---a progressive move, Rev. 3:20.  Why won't we listen?  God is Powerful, Omniscient, and Good in our darkest days.  Trust.  How can we not?  To Whom else shall we go?  To What else this day?

The ears test words like the tongue tastes food. Job 34:3-4. Let us discern together what is right and learn what is good. May we all listen to words that matter for our lives. Job 34:29 "if God is silent" ... then what? What stirs in you as we read chapter after chapter after chapter about a man who lost his 10 children? Job is trying to make sense of his suffering. Suffering with no explanation. Elihu explodes cause evidently the older generation should make sense of it all. What's his pull? What stirs in you? I keep thinking about how Job and his wife lost their 10 children and I wonder what God is saying to Job in his silence? I keep thinking of a very old quote: "The first step to sanctity is self-knowledge." Job is wrestling with what is really going on inside of him. "If we stay within the darkness, stick close to the Cross, through death we will come to know the God Who reveals Himself in the process of dying and renewal." Something beautiful is happening to Job on the inside. We know that because we know the rest of the story. Am I staying within my own darkness, sticking close to His Cross, and dying to my pride and fears so that He may reveal and renew my spirit. Have mercy on us, O God! God is speaking through His Word. What matters more than listening and living. It seems strange as we read this story that Job's friends could not see what was going on inside of their hearts. God spoke directly to their hearts in those days. They had no Word of God; held no pages to turn. How far was Ur from the Garden of Eden? How many stories had been passed along since Creation? All we know at this point is the Creation Story, Adam & Eve, Cain and Abel, the Tower of Babel. And then, a righteous man, in a far off city of Ur. A man accused of saying "my wound is incurable, though I am without transgression." Job 34:6. Where on earth was the compassion of these men? I mean, he lost 10 children. We are not punished for our sins. And there is truth in Job 32:8 that it is the spirit in man, the breath of the Almighty, that makes man understand. O God, help us to understand, to know wisdom, for the place where we sit this day. 

PHOTO:  The Grandeur. Washington State. Where my husband grew up and found God. 

215 "I Am Just A Byword" Job 31-32; Acts 26

Every day God signs the skies.

His Signature. 

Job wanted to write his signature on his words to God.

Have you ever thought you were that right? I mean really right!  And more right than God.
Save us, God, from ourselves. 

Job visits the past: "when the Almighty was yet with me, 
when my children were all around me,

when my steps were washed away."  The devil gets us to live in the past or in the future. He does not want us to live in the present. God is driving out the evil from all of us self-swindlers. Job's signature wanes. Job stands tall against the enemy of his soul.  We look back into Job's story. Job is looking forward thinking that probably his suffering will not end but Somehow--- Evil will not win in this.

Job feels he is just a byword now.  Job 31:11 - "Now that God has unstrung my bow and afflicted me, they throw off restraint in my presence."  When we are "too much" for people, they throw us off, not willing to sit with those who have no answers.  Like all of us, Job is learning here that we are not the prosecutor nor the defender of God in dealing with our problems.  So what's the true point:  "Love seeks the deepest well-being of another.  If that requires suffering, then love permits and, sometimes, brings about suffering.  But love never allows more suffering than is necessary to achieve the well-being of the beloved."  (Larry Crabb).  Our stories stir others and whatever ripples out of them comes from their hearts of good or bad.  What will it be in our affliction?

John Bunyan writes that it is not the power of the pen or the spoken word but the very spirit of God Who changes us. "Nothing less than the Spirit of God" can make us praying women. Father, as we see Your Signature over the stories of our days, our lives, help us each one to ask for Your Wisdom and Your Power to for what it is that we face this present moment. Help us to be present and name what is not of You.  

PHOTO: The sun sets on Waco, Texas. It's the same sun wherever you live. But it sets on our stories from every kind of wrestle. This sun set on my aloneness---what will I do with it?

214 - Job 28-29

When the waters stir.  Here are the words of a man who has lost more than we can fathom.  A man trying to muster every ounce of trust in a Good God Who "has taken away my right, the Almighty, who has made my soul bitter."  And Job promises that as long as he has breath, he will not speak falsehood nor deceive.  My problem is not thinking I am righteous, I know I'm not.  Job was the other side of the coin. "I will not put away my integrity from me."  Job 28:5.  The last disaster that I was in caused me to question the motives of others rather than pursue righteousness and what was going on inside of my own heart.  Job may be boastful of his righteousness but he is falling forward in a direction where few land.  And he said: "Behold, the fear of the Lord, that is wisdom." Job longed for wisdom!  May it be the cry of our hearts in the midst of any mess.  Wisdom far above the price of gold and jewels.  Is that what I long for in the midst of my health issues?  Job did.  That a man could live with no reproach, in such enormous suffering, and not let go of his trust in a Good God! No words. 

Oh, Father, may we drink deeply from the words of this man who loved you so.  Job didn't believe that You owed him a better life.  He did think his righteousness should please you.  If only we all could see the depths of our sinful nature and how we use You.  All the while, you are empowering and enabling each one of us to become the men and women You have called us to be.  Grant us Grace to face the place where we live.

PHOTO:  Pensacola Beach, Florida. Credit of Flickr, Commons.  I've stood on this pier when the waves crashed just like that in my heart.  I've spilled tears here.  And I fell forward on a very Good God.

213 - "Hold Fast, my Righteousness" Job 24-27

                                                 

Called to the unbelievers in Ireland, he gave of himself even though some despised him. He did not allow their rejection to swerve him from his cause. Just found out from Ancestry that my ancestors are predominantly from Ireland. Fascinating. And St. Patrick wrote:

"Christ beside me, Christ before me, Christ behind me, Christ within me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me." (St. Patrick The Confession of St. Patrick).

No hierarchy in God's Kingdom.  No big people and little people in Job’s day.  We are all his brothers and sisters and mothers.  Not in the world in which I live! ... where I am not recognized nor sought after—-I feel forgoten and invisible most days ... but in God's Kingdom His Pursuit of me is relentless, inexpressible, incessant. Live to love not to be loved. Live to serve not to be served. 

Job isn't recognized anymore by his friends or his community.  Job's reply:  Job 27:2 “As God lives, Who has taken away my right, and the Almighty, who has made my soul bitter, as long as my breath is in me, and the spirit of God is in my nostrils, my lips will not speak falsehood, and my tongue will not utter deceit."  

Job 27:6 "Hold fast, my Righteousness." Hold fast, my Friend. As long as breath is in us. What is our hope when God cuts us off?  This we know, the Almighty is always doing us good, even in suffering.  Hold fast! Those two words mean a great deal to me. My counselor, Bruce, for 3 years frequently ended with “hold fast.” It’s what I remember. It’s a beautiful theme to live by. Hold Fast. I think of my bff Nancy who lost 18-year-old Drew in a tragic auto accident. That’s what she has done—-held fast to Him all the rest of her days. 

PHOTO:  It's one of my favorite spots on earth.  We are headed there on Friday. Clear Lake overlooking Mount Rainier.  And my heart h.e.r.e. overflows today as I bid my spot farewell and Turn Around to face some problems that I cannot articulate.  Overflowing with gratitude for I am more persuaded, more convinced, more oh-so-sure, that my God is fighting for me in Untold Unseen Ways

212 - "Can't Figure God Out, Then Give Up the Illusion of Control and Predicting...Discover the Freedom of Hope" Job 20-23

                                                         

"I go forward, but he is not there, and backward, but I do not perceive Him; on the left hand when he is working, I do not behold him; he turns to the right hand, but I do not see him. But God knows the way that I take." Such beauty from the heart of Job. Followed by a haughty confidence that Job will come out as gold. And it is that statement right here that Job will repent of uttering---that all his uprightness being tried by God will produce good gold. Oh, may we see what stirs within us. May we see what remains in our lives as permitted by a very Good God to drive me to Him as my Center, my Source, my All. God was silent to Job. The dark night of the soul. And Job continued to fall forward and sit before God in mystery. And Job is learning just like you and me to rest before God in trust of whatever He does.  Job knew way down deep that his suffering was not punishment for his sin that he could stop by living better. In our darkest nights, there is hope that awaits and invites us to love in ways we never knew. "When we cannot figure God out, we will give up the illusion of predictability and control and discover the joy and freedom of hope." Father, You never allow more suffering than necessary for our very best life. That's what the sages say. That's what I wrestle with. It's just hard to fathom how much as in the story of Job. Help this next generation to see things from your perspective. Help us all to live like this servant of yours who kept coming back to you day after day, wrestling with the deep things. 

 PHOTO: The place I went to wrestle back when I lived in Austin for these past 17 years. So many tears dropped into this quarries lake. 

211 - "My Redeemer Will Stand on the Earth" Job 16-19

So socialized to religion, to tradition, to authoritative friends, I couldn't question God when the bottom of my world fell out. These words. Points me to wrestle well with God. Job 19:25. I know my Redeemer lives and One Day He will stand on the earth. The most amazing thought. Back-and-forth dialogue between Job and friends and God. Shut out/ shut down. Job marshals the language of the court. He wants his words not etched in destructible books but engraved on durable stone for all generations. His good counselors were none. May we learn to wrestle real with God. What does that mean? Jacob knew in all his messy life. 

PHOTO: Lady Bird Lake, Austin Texas, where I contemplate how to wrestle with the God of the universe. We know the ending and He will stand here. He knows the way I have to take to get There.

210 - "Pain Unassuaged" Job 14-15

God numbers my steps: doesn't He watch over my every sin? It is sealed up in a bag. Fastened tight. Job 14:16

"Persecution so persistent would wear out the strongest," says Matthew Henry. He goes on to say: Does God destroy the hope of man in his own overwhelming personal pain? 

For now! You know, Job knew and believed in a God who would help and deliver him. But this disaster upon disaster was like it was too much for him to still believe that God was doing something in this. All his sins sealed up like endictments of how much he had done wrong. We look back on Job's day. We know truth in ways he did not. Job's depravity prevails here. He sees his God as going too far against him and his family. 

  
"The Lord must prevail against all who contend with him. God may send disease and pain, we may lose all comfort in those near and dear to us, every hope of earthly happiness may be destroyed, but God will receive the believer into realms of eternal happiness." Matthew Henry
Do not seal up my transgressions in a bag, nor note my iniquities in thy register." He doesn't!

Job's friends called his tears poured out to God "windy knowledge," Job 15:2, "unprofitable talk."  They went so far as to say that Job is doing away with the fear of God. Job 15:4.  Oh!  This father sits in an enormous enigma.  His pain is so overwhelming that he cannot see straight to God.  And, yet, his "miserable comforters" inquire if God's comforts are too small for Job?  May we hold our wisdom for we walk not in those moccasins. 

C.S. Lewis said that when pain is to be born, a little courage helps more than much knowledge from your friends, a little human sympathy means more than much courage, and the least tincture of the Love of God is more than all of that.  May we give away this day the Love of God.  Help us to reach deep to love deeply. 

PHOTO:  The view of the base of Mount Rainier in Eatonville.  A few tears had just spilled out.  Jesus had nowhere to lay his head.  He understands aloneness.  Job was so alone in this.  From the top of the world to safe in His Savior's Arms, still and alone.  

209 - "Though You Slay Me, I Will Trust You" Job 12-13

It was in the beginning of time that Job lived.

Not the wealth of stories that we have about God, Who walked the earth.

Job had worked hard to raise 10 kids and lead them well; He worked hard on the land.

Job's friend has no mercy on him.  Zophar tells a man who just lost his 10 children that he did not get what he deserved.  Job is not in shock, not disconnecting, ... No, the man is wrestling with his sin.  Job is asking God in Job 13:23:  How many are my sins?  Make me know my sins!  His deep heart-wrenching thoughts are coming from a good place in his heart yet some thoughts like Job 13:3 cannot possibly be from a good place:  "I want to speak to the Almighty and I desire to argue my case with God." Can we really argue with God?  So what's the point here?  There are both good and bad residing in our hearts at the same time. 

How beautiful that Job is leaning, falling forward, on the Almighty.  He knows his limits.  "Though He slay me, I will hope in Him, yet I will argue my ways to His Face."  Job 13:15.  There it is again.  Such Good!  Such Bad! 

And what touches me is that God calls us in this passage to withhold our judgment on man.  Let the Almighty judge Job, not Zophar, not me.  We are to move in love into people's lives, not trying to straighten them out.  Zophar believed in a prosperity-type gospel.  But the question arises even today.  If bad things happen to you continually, like Job, you must be doing something wrong.  What beauty pours out from Job's lips in the midst of his confusion and chaos when he says:  "I will trust Him," ...  No matter what God does---and here is a man who has suffered immense loss.  Job knows something of the Greatness of God that most do not.  Let us strive not to be "worthless physicians" (Job 13:4)  helping others with our platitudes of words and actions that really don't mean that much.  Let us say with Job:  I will trust you God in this present circumstance that I am in, this very day.

PRAYER FROM PSALMS

Father,Though I walk in the midst of trouble, You preserve my life. You stretch out Your Hand against the anger of my foes; with Your Right Hand, You will save me.  Thank you so much.  I trust that you will perfect that thing that concerns me this very day, these very circumstances You have allowed. Psa 138:7-8

208 - "Listen To Your Life" Job 10-11

                                        

What really touches those deep places inside of us?  
Oh, to have meaningful conversations that touch eternity?
Here's a man, desperate for God & community & grace & compassion.
His suffering is so great, he just wants God to leave. him. alone.   Job 10:20
Not the holy posture toward God we hope to have--- but it is where we all live at times.
"I will argue my ways to His Face."  And I can hear the sarcastic arrogance in my own voice.
Here are his friends offering him pat advice: you need wisdom, Job. Maturity! Job 11:6
Why is it we are all so quick to "fix" whatever is wrong. Why can't we rest!

Father, may we listen to ourselves this day, this trial.
May we fully be present in the pain not just pleasure.
May we see Your Hand humbling our so needy souls.
Help us today to love well, listen well, & suffer well.

"Listen to your life.
See it for the fathomless mystery that it is.
In the boredom and pain of it, 
no less than in the excitement and gladness;
touch, taste, smell your way to the holy & hidden heart of it
because in the last analysis all moments are key moments &
Life Itself Is Grace.
Frederick Buechner

PHOTO:  Small Group sitting on a dock on the Quarries Bay, Austin Texas.  Listening to our lives and what stirs within.  What stirred that day for me:  being passed over again ... what will I do with that?  Though He slay me, I will trust Him.

207 - "My House of Cards Collapsed" Job 8-9

Job 8:22 - "their house of cards collapsed."  C.S. Lewis talks about living in a house of cards.  In A Grief Observed, Lewis wrote that if my house collapsed at one blow, it was a house of cards. My house of cards collapsed 4 years ago with one blow only for God to take that house built on sand and rebuild it on the rocks.  Lewis talked about if his house was a house of cards, the sooner it was knocked down the better---and only suffering could do that.  "God always knew that my temple was a house of cards."  C.S. Lewis.

Job 9:13 How can mere mortals get right with God?  Job 9:20 God wins, hands down.  So what's the point?

 Job 10:2 "How does this fit into what you once called 'good'? Giving me a hard time---how is that good, God?  Job, like the rest of us, believes "God should relieve his struggles and replace it with rest. But God uses struggle to uncover a rest beneath the struggle that no anguish can destroy." 66 LL. Job's foolish understanding of the road to find real life is not right.  My understanding is what I have to deal with this day, this set of circumstances.  Foolish Understanding!  So throw the anchor over in the midst of my storm and it will hold true.  There is an Anchor in my raging storm.  I just want the storm to go away instead of a sure and steady Anchor in my mess.  Remember Crabb's quote in the First Love Letter---"You must now live between Anguish and Hope." 

What beautiful faith in Job pushing through his suffering.  Even his friend alludes that Job has small beginnings (whoever called thousands of sheep and donkeys and ten children SMALL?) and his latter days would be great.  Prophetic.  Meaningless to Job at the moment.  Job has not forgotten about God.  His flesh just doesn't want to face all that suffering.  I can't wrap my brain around losing all ten of my children on the same day.  Job says in 9:28 that he has become afraid of his suffering.  Wouldn't he be tempted with---what next?  It is a "land of darkness and deep shadows" for Job.  Even though he knows so much about God, Job recognizes that God passes him by and Job sees him not (Job 9:11).  And the same for me.  May we not miss you, Our Good God, passing us by this day in our suffering be it great or small.

PHOTO:  California. Who knocked down my house of cards?  God did.  And it was good.  Very good. 

206 "Three Terrifying Truths About Our Existence" Job 4-7; Acts 20

                                                        

My. Life. Has. No. Hope. Job 7:1-6. Are not our days like the days of a hired hand? How did Job get to that place? If his calamities were laid in the balances, his distress loomed heavier than his sin, like all of the sands. How do we measure what happens to us? Ten children buried beneath this hard life. Grieving. Now carrying sickness unto death. And a wife saying, just curse God. My. Life. Has. No. Hope. Who will say to God: "What are you doing?" Is there not anyone who can adjudicate? No Mediator? No Arbitrator? No Judge? Then, There is no New Testament. But wait, We know the Light. We know the Mediator. Hold fast. Hold us fast. There. Is. So. Much. Hope. "If I were going to begin practicing the presence of God for the first time today, it would help to begin by admitting the three most terrible truths of our existence: that we are 1. so ruined, and 2. so loved, and 3. in charge of so little.” Anne Lamott, Three Essential Prayers. Father, we are all so ruined by sin. And there is so much hope for that ruin for our Mediator ever lives. Father, we are so loved. And there is so much to live for even with ten buried children and I wince and weasel as I write for I know not that kind of ginormous pain. Father, we are in charge of so little. The fact that You do anything for us is amazing. Job could not remember his past---one of the greatest and holiest men on the entire earth. Seems like everyone forgot his past. Help us today to live remembering what You have done for us and how we got to the place where we are today. 

 PHOTO: The Quarries Lake in north Austin, Texas. I put Romans 8:38 on a slip of paper in this message bottle and laid it on the shore. "Not this p.r.e.s.e.n.t. thing can s.e.p.a.r.a.t.e. me from the Love of God. Was struggling with the loss of material things---didn't Job? August 2010 we packed up everything we owned and put it in a 10X20 Public Storage unit. Haven't opened the storage door since. It's been 14 years.

205 - "Unloaded of Everything I Worked Hard to Get" Job 1-2; Acts 19

Here is a man who was unloaded of every conceivable thing he had worked so hard to attain.  Yet, Job humbled himself under the hand of God.  "The Lord gives and the Lord takes away, blessed be the Name of the Lord."  Job 1:21.   

Job was honest inside and out, a man of his word, who was totally devoted to God and hated evil with a passion.  The most influential man in all the East! It was God Who said to Satan, "Have you noticed my friend Job? There's no one quite like him—honest and true to his word, totally devoted to God and hating evil."Again, Satan strikes---do you think Job does all of that out of sheer goodness?  Job 1:11 "But what do you think would happen if you reached down and took away everything that is his? He'd curse you right to your face, that's what."  God replied, "do what you want with all that is his."  So many people have trouble saying God causes evil but God invited evil to do a work in Job. 

The most influential man in all the East! And God asks Satan if he has noticed Job. And God says to Satan: “Do what you want with all that is his.” God invited Satan to wreak havoc on Job.  God knows something I know not. 

"When you stand before Me in mystery, you will eventually rest within Me in trust.  When you can't figure me out, you will give up the illusion of predictability and control and discover the joy and freedom of hope."  Larry Crabb. Am I really broken over my own demand for satisfaction in my life, my ideas of control, managing what God is saying to me, life on my terms?  If I live broken over my demandingness, I will live in gratitude and rest.  

PHOTO:  Unloaded of every person, every animal, every piece of wood, every appearance of health.

204 - "Seek The Welfare of Others and Speak Peace to Them" Esterh 8-9; Acts 18

You know, some of us will be known by many, some of us will be known by a few. Some in palaces, still remembering where we came from---a gatekeeper. Some in huts, still longing for dry and safe land. God will place us in notoriety or obscurity. Yet, it's not the locality that sets us free. Esther 10:2 And all the acts of his power and might, and the full account of the high honor of Mordecai, to which the king advanced him, are they not written in the Book of the Chronicles of the kings of Media and Persia? Whether God has graced us with an audience of one or one thousand, our mission is the same. Mordecai sought the welfare of his people and spoke peace to all his people. May we seek the welfare of our family foremost and friends. And above all, may we speak peace. 

PHOTO: Besides my four kids and their families, this is the family I have left on this Earth I get to see. 

Just spent the week with them. They are kind and fun and generous and so accepting. I hope with all my heart that I spoke peace to them --- they so deserve it. They have reached deep to always include me and Bob and our kids in their family circle every birth, every holiday, every celebration. Known and loved.

203 - "Everything Is Under Divine Providence" Esther 7-8; Acts 17

                                                                   

Oh, the grandeur of King Ahasuerus.  The epitome of treasures on earth.
And none of these riches will go with us.  Esther 8:2.  Not one thing.
Esther knew when she said "If I perish, I perish..."
She knew that she would take with her something far more precious than this life.  Her tears were for her people not for herself.  Esther knew.  Is there Something I am missing in this life that I clutch too tightly?

Divine Providence rules through the Book of Esther.
Nothing escapes God's notice.
He was preparing Mordecai to rise up even when the king couldn't sleep.
The king could order 127 provinces.
The king could not order one hour of his own sleep.
God forces us every night to rest, whether we want it or not. 
It is not our choice.  We are held in His Divine Care.
"That which will break proud Haman's heart willl not break humble Morechai's sleep." M. Henry.
Divine Care is written all through the script.
What do I not know this day of Divine Providence over my life that I must consider?

PHOTO: Colorado. Everything is in His Divine Care.

202 - "Is Your Life Going Well? Plan A or Plan B?" Esther 4-6

202 - Christianity is a social policy to make life better on this earth rather than a redemptive plan to make people better in this life. Is it going well in this only life you have to live?     

                                                                   

Huge Wealth. Stunning Splendor. Isn't that today's world. People want to be somebody on this earth. "Every man is master of his own house; whatever he says, goes." That's what the king ordered. Wonder why Persia didn't take the opportunity to return "home" to Judah. They "preferred the comforts a well-established secular lifestyle could provide." Sounds way-too-familiar! So they put pressure on the beautiful women to show up. That's not right. What about those of us with redemptive dignity who aren't glamour-filled---would we have made it in Persia? "Are they---or even am I---even interested in real holiness, in what You call holiness? Or are we mistaking tolerance and niceness and spiritual experiences for the deep change in the human soul that You desire? Most of us seem to think Christianity is a moral and social policy to make life better for people rather than a redemptive plan for making people better in this life." I am so grateful to God for His moving into my life in the midst of some suffering a few years ago to help me to really deal with deep change and let HIM change me way down deep as only He can. Ask my husband, my son who was still living at home, some of my friends, and they will tell you that I'm not who I was---and I'm on my face in gratitude. And I still have a long way to go but I have hope! So, like all of us, we sometimes ask Crabb's question; Is Your plan going well or not? What about about Plan B. Is it going well in my life, in your life?  His Plan A? Or am I wrestling with all those Plan B's that surprise me and crop up? Radical Repentance.`The Providence of God has raised you up to your story this day. Plan A. "For such a time as this." 

We may never live in a palace. We may never be called a queen. Does this kind of beauty hold happiness we know not? They were just as much at unrest as the lowly. Ahasuerus thought way too much of himself, his kingdom. There is such a compelling story in this book of Esther. To what end has God called us? Consider why He has left you where you are.

PHOTO: Grandchildren in Texas. Plan A? Plan B? They have no idea of the measurement of wealth.

201 - "God Has Left You Where You Are" Esther 1-3

 We may never live in a palace. We may never be called a queen. Does this kind of beauty hold happiness we know not? They were just as much at unrest as the lowly. Ahasuerus thought way too much of himself, his kingdom. There is such a compelling story in this book of Esther. To what end has God called us? Consider why He has left you where you are.

PHOTO: Words that explain my tears.

200 - "Left Behind in the Wake of Providence, Sow Seeds of Tears" Nehemiah 13; Acts 16

                                                                   

"Remember me, O my God, for good." Nehemiah 13:31
It's just too good to be true.  A surprising deliverance of God's people out of such terrible distress.  Most likely the author of Psalm 126 is Ezra himself according to commentaries.  They have just experienced what is penned as the "most remarkable captivity" in history to date.  

Psalm 126
The Song of Ascents---repeated twice cause it is doubly good.
A Calling to be thankful and it can be applied to our own lives.  Psalm 126:3.
The harps hanging from the willow trees are pulled down.
"Providence pipes to them, and they dance."  M. Henry
A turning again.  And the people "thought ourselves like men that dream."
Mouths filled with laughter.
Tongues slipping out singing.
Hearts full vent to joy.
Glory to God.
And some rejoicing is with trembling,
for they bear on the sleeve of their hearts the "grievances that were yet to be redressed."
We are changed in a twinkling of an eye.
Yet, we must work out our salvation with fear and trembling.
For no change is overnight news.
May all of us who have been left behind in the wake of Providence,
may we turn again to God to perfect our salvation. 

"The beginnings of mercy are encouragements to us to pray for the completing of it."
Come Lord Jesus.
The tears themselves are the seeds we must sow.
Sow in tears; reap in joy.
"Those who sow in the tears of godly sorrow shall reap in the joy of a sealed pardon and a settled peace."  M. Henry

Wherever we find ourselves as we close these New Testament words today, O God, have mercy on our  souls.  And may Your mercy be the beginning of great encouragement today that You are present and completing our salvation for each of us.  Do Your Perfect Work.  May we sow the tears we've launched.  May we reap the joy we know not. 

PHOTO: The full harvest moon outside our window tonight. The setting sun begins to close the pages on the Old Testament. 300 years will soon pass by. It’s a new moon. 

199 - The Sound of Rejoicing Heard Far Away" Nehemiah 11-12

 Remember me, O God, 

and have compassion on me

 according to the Greatness of Your Love. Nehemiah knew in his heart that he was doing a great work for God, brick by brick, little by little. What's so beautiful about Nehemiah is that his heart was broken for the things that matter. It wasn't for himself, his own suffering. His heart broke for the people and the preservation of their holiness. Nehemiah did a great work. Yet, not too long after that, Nehemiah finds the people not taking worship seriously. Personal Gain. Personal Peace. Personal Affluence. Nehemiah was sustained by God and kept on persuading the people to repent. And, he dealt with his own heart so beautifully. "And what stirs you most deeply? Is it advancing your plan for your life or My plan for My world? Is it finding a way to get your spouse to understand how abandoned you feel or revealig the character of My Son as you deal with your troubled marriage? Is is a concern to live as comfortably as possible in the immediate mess or to live out your calling to be holy in the midst of the mess? 66LL. Remember me, this day, O God!

"The sound of rejoicing in Jerusalem could be heard far away." Neh 12:43. They were so happy to be protected. 

PHOTO:  Taken in Texas on a friend's lovely farm. Rejoicing. 

198 - "Tender to the Word of God" Nehemiah 9-10; Acts 16

                                                               

Live in the tension. Revive us, O God, in your ways, the psalmist once said. “We will not neglect the house of our God.” Neh 10:39.  No hidden agendas in this crowd. All about advancing the Kingdom of God. Not about advancing own agendas. What stirs in me most deeply? Is it advancing God's Kingdom or my own? Is it about putting closure on these financial problems I have or revealing the character of God in the midst of them? Is it about getting people to recognize you, understand you, accept you into the "in" crowd or is it about revealing the Beautiful God for whom we live. 2,000 years pass and it's the same questons: Will you neglect the house of God? Will you neglect the temple of the Holy Spirit living in you? 

They were so tender to the Word of God ... they cried when it was read.
I just love that! And I so want that!
That I would cry more over the Word than over my circumstance.
And God said, don't grieve.
The joy of the Lord is your strength.
It is the strength that comes from knowing Him and His Word.
Make it your chief study again cause I need the Strength
that only He can give.  I just hit another low! 

197 - "Read The Word of God Aloud" Nehemiah 8; Acts 15

                                                                        

All the people gathered as though they were one in the square to read the Book. Nehemiah 8:1 Like friendly sardines in a can. Squished to gel as one. They implored Ezra to read on a soapbox. From Early Morning sunrise ... To the white hot Midday sun. Matthew Henry said it was an ordinance of God to read the Word aloud. Give sense to it. Understanding and good sense. "All that we hear must, however, be brought to the test of Scripture. They heard readily and minded every word. The Word of God demands our attention. If through carelessness we let much slip in hearing, there is danger that through forgetfulness we shall let all slip after hearing." Matthew Henry 

 Oh Father, I want to read the Word of God every day aloud and alive. Would you shine in us all good sense to understand. Help make sense of these lives of ours. 

 PHOTO: Early Morning. The break of dawn. The soap box. Ezra stands and speaks and makes sense of this life of ours til the sun settles directly over the square. Nothing. NOTHING. nothing. NOTHING. Nothing matters more to me than the Word of God. Allender told me I was violent with the word of God---so be it. Another one told me I wouldn't amount to anything much. Another one told me our lives didn't matter much for the Kingdom---too focused on sports. The only thing that matters is the Truth of the Word of God. And that's the soap box I am standing on.

196 - "Don't Make It Relevant, Make It Real" Nehemiah 7

Whether it is raining in our hearts, torrential rains,
Or if the clouds are pulled back for a day.
God has all of this set in motion for our gain.
May we so surrender to Divine Providence and His Way. 

Nehemiah comes back to Jerusalem after he finishes building the wall. He has a great calling to build a city, not just a wall. Nehemiah 7:16. "Nehemiah knew that the safety of a city, under God, depends more upon the inhabitants than upon its walls." M.Henry. Nehemiah knew their biggest enemy was not on the other side of the wall but in their sinful hearts. Let us guard against sin. Let us guard against living for this present world. When did we start having to make things relevant to reach people? When did we start having to entertain people to draw them in? Lower the lights, soften the music, make the message relevant, and whatever do you, don't offend the churchgoers. Wondering this Sabbath Day what God thinks of all that is going on in the name of Christianity in our world today? Let's deal with our own hearts this Sabbath. Finish our own wall. Guard against our own sin. The Lord is near.

PHOTO: Torrential rains or pulled back clouds, God has set it all in motion. Make it real.

195 - “I Am Doing A Great Work” Nehemiah 4-6

 

There is a relationship that I am wrestling through where I want someone to change for their good.  I'm so adamant that they are wrong and I believe I am right.  But that's not the issue anymore.  What stirs me from this book is that I must reveal to them the character of our Good God and not try to move them to change by my words, my prayers, my actions.  Of course, I should hope and pray for their good, their transformation, with all my heart. But I'm so stuck on them changing that I've become unbecomingly arrogant and quietly demanding. Back in the close of the Book of Ezra, Crabb wrote:  "There's always a way back from sin.  Tears of hope will flow every time you experience My Loving Mercy when you fail...Ezra's burden for holiness led to tears of repentance."  What deeply disturbs me?  What are these tears that flow?  Tears of Hope?  Tears of Repentance?  I think they might be tears of pain. 

Nehemiah 7:5 - God put this in Nehemiah's heart to assemble the people.  So, Nehemiah rebuilt the wall and set the doors in place, then he assembled priests, and gatekeepers, and musicians.  He took this ministry to the utmost place.  A common wall around an unimpressive city around a tiny town population around blue collar people.  Surrounded by mocking laughs and words to which Nehemiah replied:  "I am doing a great work."  Neh 6:3.

194 - "Brick By Brick for the Little Broken People" Nehemiah 1-3

                                                              

It may be small, brick by brick, but it's a great work. Nehemiah 1:6 - Oh God! Let your ears be attentive and your eyes be open to the prayers we offer you this day. Nehemiah heard about a broken down wall and prayed. What is broken in our lives? What does God keep hearing us say over and over and over, do not stop, O God! I love it that Nehemiah moved forward and built a wall.nAnd Nehemiah thought he was doing a "great work" for God. Whatever we do out of sincere hearts to know You and make You known---it is a great work, a great privilege. May we be more concerned with the little great works we are doing than what we are receiving. May we be more concerned with loving others than what they are doing to us. May we be more concerned with advancing God's Kingdom than managing our lives well. Psalm 25:15-16 ~ O God, Our eyes are ever on You. You can release my feet from the snare that I am in.  Trapped. Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. Relieve the troubles of my heart and free me, from myself and from my sin, from what I want. O God, hear these out-loud words of mine.

Cup-bearer to the King of Persia.  Nehemiah lived in luxury.  Wanting for nothing.  The good life.  A place of honor, sitting next to the King.  

Yet.
He never forgot the suffering of his people.  He heard of it.  He went for it.  He responded to it.
What can I do this day to show kindness to you?  We all have problems---we live with ourselves, we know it.  When a noble reaches down to a commoner, he makes the heart of God glad.  No respecter of persons here.  No big people and little people for Nehemiah.  Just a very big heart for his God.

So.
He inquires about how they are really doing.  Makes me want to go inquire.
And as soon as he hears, he presents his first application to God not man:  Nehemiah 1:4 As soon as I heard these words I sat down and wept and mourned for days, and I continued fasting and praying before the God of heaven.

PHOTO:  The Great Divide in my life.  I will remember this story of Nehemiah 1 forever.  It's a pivotal point for me.  Another great divide of longing to pray.  Present your 1st application to God not man.

193 - "Hope For Our Sin" Ezra 9-10; Acts 12

This is the city where I live, Austin

All our days are made up of brief moments.

May they be brief moments of grace shown by God.

God has appointed our times and places.

He is giving us a peg in His Holy Place opening eyes.

Ezra 9:8-9 But now for a brief moment grace has been shown from the Lord our God, to leave us an escaped remnant and to give us a peg in His holy place, that our God may enlighten our eyes and grant us a little reviving. For we are slaves; yet in our bondage our God has not forsaken us, but has extended lovingkindness to us!!! I think we all live in far more bondage than we realize. What stirs within in the city where you live? C.S. Lewis said it: "We are far too easily pleased."

Dear God, We can be swept away by terrors in a moment. We can be filled with grace in that same one. Come Lord Jesus in our brief moments of this life You have appointed. Show us this day in the city where we live, a brief moment of grace.

There is Hope for our Sin. Ezra 10:2.  Oh my goodness.  This so speaks to me right where I am today.  I may be 10 percent wrong in an argument, a disagreement, an exchange---however---if they are 90 percent wrong, I can only deal with myself.  And God says it right here...hope for our sin.

“O my God, I am ashamed and blush to lift my face to you, my God, for our iniquities have risen higher than our heads, and our guilt has mounted up to the heavens.  From the days of our fathers to this day we have been in great guilt.  Ezra 9:6.  And the LORD listened to them.  That's it.  God is listening to me this evening as I want to give up on Christmas and it hasn't even happened yet.  What am I really saying?  Sometimes, I think I'm saying that the pain is too great.  And just how did I get to this place?

 “The hand of our God is for good on all who seek him, and the power of his wrath is against all who forsake him.” We will never forsake our God.  So, what's the alternative----either God's Hand is on us or not.  And His Hand is on each of us this day for good.  I have to believe that.

Ezra made confessions. Begged forgiveness.
Ezra 10:1
Therein lies the beauty of his obedient life.

Father, here is a telling story of Your mercy and kindness and love toward the life of this Ezra.  May we apply ourselves to study the Word, to do the Word, to teach the Word.  Help us this day dig deep within to make confession to you for missing the mark.  Oh God, we long for Your Hand on our lives.  Acceptance with peace for what You have gifted our way.  I'm so shaken tonight by my own mess.  Help us find a beautiful hope to press in, press on.

PHOTO: The city where I live. Austin. Peg by peg. Hope for our sin.

192 - "Make Confessions" Ezra 7-8; Acts 11

 

Meanwhile.
This Ezra...
Skilled in the Law of Moses.
The Hand of the Lord his God was on Him.
Ezra 7:6

Yes, the Good Hand of his God was on him.
Ezra 7:9
For Ezra set his heart
to study the Law of the Lord,
and to do it & to teach God's Word in Israel.
Ezra 7:10

They took courage knowing the Hand of God was on them. Ezra 7:28. Wondering what God is saying about His Eye on my little life, on your little life this day.

Ezra read the Bible to the town from daybreak to noon and they listened attentively. Neh 8:3. What did they know that we don't? 

PHOTO: A scroll from Jerusalem.

191 - "Plunged Into A Sea of Joy" Ezra 6; Acts 10

One version says:

They were plunged into a sea of joy.

If I had to choose one verse about this school year,

it would be just that.
EZRA 6:22

The temple work was INTERRUPTED.
RESUMED.
The temple was COMPLETED.
DEDICATED.

EZRA 6:22 And they observed the Feast of Unleavened Bread seven days with joy, for the Lord had caused them to rejoice, and had turned the heart of the king of Assyria toward them to encourage them in the work of the house of God, the God of Israel.

One version of the Bible says:  They were plunged into a sea of joy.  This is where I sit today.  Plunged.  Joy.  Because God has changed the attitude of those directly over my life. But is that the best reason for joy? Circumstances? Joy is the presence of God not the absence of troubles. 

For seven days they celebrated with joy the Festival of Unleavened Bread, because the Lord had filled them with joy by changing the attitude of the king of Assyria so that he assisted them in the work on the house of God, the God of Israel. Ezra 6:22

190 - "Don't Offer People Insights and Principles; Offer People a Redeemer" Ezra 4-5; Acts 9

                                                

Ezra 4:4-5 The Samaritans reared up their ugly heads at the building of the temple.  Satan shows up to discourage and undermine and bribe those who want to do good.  These returned revived revelers were beautiful exiles and so full of joy.  But, they were so targeted by the enemy of their souls.  Let us remember that that the god of this world seeks to devour our attempts to walk and worship.  He is out looking for good intentions.  And our fatal flaw is not looking into our own souls when opposition bombards our temples.  

We are all looking for a Redeemer.  But the nails and mortar and curtains and boards trap us into finding our worship on paths that are going straight to destruction---like the offer of these Samaritans. "We must not offer people a system of redemption, a set of insights and principles. We offer people a Redeemer."  Paul David Tripp

The Redeemer in the New Testament. Seeing the face of Christ dazzled Paul to the things of Another Country. It took his eyes off of this world and what he was doing to make this world work. Dazzled by the Holy One. Blinded and offered eternal hope. And Paul cooperated to the fullest extent with the One Who held his hand. Acts 9:9

Who are You, Lord?" asks Saul in Acts 9:5---this one who asks is:
the unmerciful young man who applauded Stephen's stoning, 7:58
the proud Pharisee who wreaked hail and havoc on the church, 8:3
the heartless blasphemer whose very breath slew slaughter, thrashed threats, 9:1.
No one would believe that this wretch could now be a follower.

Now.
"A chosen vessel unto God."  Acts 9:15.
And I weep.
I weep for myself
who has been saved from myself.
I weep for my children
who need to be saved from themselves.
I weep for us all.
That we may bear The Name.
"This Signal Token of the Divine Favor of God, 
by inward working of His Grace" (M. Henry)
in all of us!

We all admire things on this earth more than God.
We all want things more than we want God.

That's evident of the problem of man.

PHOTO: Graffiti in Austin. The graffiti of our soul. What words will we write today in this story we live.

189 - "Don't Look for Coaches, Look for Elders to Lead You into the Presence of the Lord" Ezra 1-3

 

1:1 "In the first year of Cyrus, King of Persia, God prodded Cyrus King of Persia to make an official announcement throughout his kingdom." God stirred up Cyrus to permit any willing Israelite to return HOME after 70 years of Babylonian captivity.  I just wept as I read names of clans of over 50,000 people who had been held captive.  There's something in me that is moved when I hear of captives like my friend Cyd and her driver were taken captive and murdered in Afghanistan --- and her body was just sent back to the U.S. from Afghanistan, 15+ years later. These 50,000+ stable people of substance (remember how they didn't take the very poor captive but allowed them to work the land) are on their way home.  Oh my!  Restored physically.  But there already has been a spiritual restoration or they wouldn't come home to praise God like they have!  Ezra 3:11 "God is good; He will never quit loving us."

As we close the book of 2 Chronicles, we find a restored people in the book of Ezra longing for holiness, His Presence.  Something happened to them in captivity---"suffering is necessary until evil is finally banished...suffering opens the holy space in your soul that will be filled only when you're dancing with Me..."  66 LL.  And I'm reminded of Crabb's quote that ended the chapter:  "Don't look for experts to coach you in how to make your life work before you follow elders who will lead you into My Presence."  What are we really looking for in life?  "I want My people to know this:  if even in small ways you live to 'fix your life,' to arrange for your own pleasure in ways that violate holiness, your love for a better life now will eventually corrupt your love for Me."  66 LL.  The question Jesus will ask in about 400 years comes to mind:  John 1:38 - "What do you seek?"  What do I seek this day?

Ezra 3:11 - And they sang responsively, praising and giving thanks to the Lord,

“For he is good,
for his steadfast love endures forever toward Israel.”

And all the people shouted with a great shout when they praised the Lord, because the foundation of the house of the Lord was laid. But the old men wept loud. Duplicity of voices coming out of captivity. What it must have felt like.

And Jeremiah's prophecy lives. And the prophets reign while the crowns fall off the head of kings. And these dry bones live again, love again. 

What about my own dry bones.

 Have we inquired of God today to come alive, stay alive. 

What stirs in my heart tonight?   Ezra 3:13

So much joy in my heart---it is God, if you only knew my circumstances.
It's the end of another year and a time of reflection.
I am so overwhelmed with what God has done in my life this year.
Col. 1:29 - What stirs in us?  The Power of the Energy of Christ,
if we just let it be. 
God stirred Ezra to rebuild the temple.
When they saw the foundation laid,
the people wept.  Loud!  Wonder why?
They loved Someone more than the blessings.
The priests and Levites, people who so desired to be holy,
they wept so hard, it was indistinguishable.
What beautiful passion if it was for God and not for themselves.
Who knows?
But I come back to the question . . .
What stirs in me today?
It's been one of the best years of my life.
And we've been stripped of quite a few things.
Stripped and filled by God. 
Oh, to live like Ezra did:
"Ezra was deeply distressed by My people's compromise
more than by their troubles.  His burden for holiness led to tears
of repentance and to his refusal to eat or drink as he grieved
My people's evil."  66LL
Oh, to live like that.

PHOTO:  A tiny country church. Wish it were my husband’s church.

188 - "Urged to Return to God and Move Forward" 2 Chronicles 34-36

Sitting on a dock in a bay ... reflecting on moral evils vs. natural evils. II Chronicles 36:22 The Lord stirred up the spirit of Cyrus, King of Persia, and put His Words in his mouth.  May the Lord be with each of us and let him go up.

The chronicles of these kings are heart wrenching.  So many lived for themselves. The words of 66LL resonate deeply in II Chronicles.  God wants me to think more about how I relate to Him and others more  than how to get my life together.  He wants me to look deep inside, look into my motives, look to see if I am really looking out for myself when I think I'm living for God. 

"There is an evil greater than bombs, tsunamis, and cancer.  Those are natural evils.  But when people live to get their own way, when they determine what is good for them and live to get it, all hell breaks loose within and between them...frenzied grabs for happiness with no concern for how others are impacted, more interest in making one's point than listening to another's, the vicious habit of depersonalizing everyone into a rival, ugly parodies of community-like courtesy without connection, laughter without love---these are moral evils" (Gal 5:19-21 The Message.  

Psalm 81:10

O, God, open our mouths and fill them with Yourself.  

All those plans that we inwardly demand happen, 

help us to see where we live for ourselves.

O, God, may we listen today well.
And recognize Your stirrings.
Not our will but Yours.
Nor our own plans
Have Mercy!
Col 1:29

2 Chronicles 36:13 Zedekiah, one more evil king, never gave God a thought; repentance never entered his mind. What do I do on days like today when repentance doesn't enter my mind?  When was the last time I repented? I have been consumed today with how my family and friends do not value me as a person---how very little interest they show in my life; how very little interest they have to spend time with me, much less just pick up the phone and call. I have thought only of myself today. It is quite lonely when you are older and community dwindles. I hope to find a church in our new move back to Fort Worth. But more than anything, I hope to return to God to live for Him in the midst of what I perceive as unreturned love---probably most of it really is. 

I LOVE how today's reading ends in 2 Chronicles 36:23 - "All who belong to God's people are urged to return—and may your God be with you! Move forward!"  

PHOTO:  The Dock where I go to pray.