244 - "Doing Math in the Wilderness" Psalm 88-91

 

Bend an ear, God; answer me. I'm one miserable wretch! ...

Psalm 88 - God, you're my last chance of the day. I spend the night on my knees before you ...
Take notes on the trouble I'm in ... 
You turned my friends against me ...
Blinded by tears of pain and frustration ...
My only friend left is Darkness ...
Pain.
Frustration.
What do I do with that?

You put the arrogant ocean in its place 
You put your arrogant child in moments like today
that I may see into my heart.

I've thought a whole lot this year about the story of the Prodigal Son.  In his book about the prodigal, Henri Nouwen writes:  "Can I let the younger and older son grow in me to the maturity of the compassionate father?"  The father is who I must become, he writes.  As the father deals with his own anger and loneliness, his anger turns to solitude and his loneliness turns to gratitude.  I am that younger and older brother.  Frustration.  Anger.  Pain.   Can you grow both of my sides into a compassion that moves into the lives of others in the midst of my own mess?

Teach us to number our daysthat we may present a heart of wisdom. Psalm 90:12

One commentary says it this way:  

In this wilderness world of ours, 

may our lives be "a sanctified use of the sad dispensation."

Let the arithmetic find us Divine Guidance.

And may the counting result in much goodness every day.

Oh God! Cause us to come to you for wisdom. 

That we may allot our time by by what You know. 

That we may set store by time.

“That God would enable us to form such an estimate of life, 

that we shall be truly wise; 

that we may be able to act 

"as if" we saw the whole of life.” 

PHOTO:  5 Grandkids hiding in the hash tagged sign.  May they live in such a way that they keep an eye on the whole of life.  May they live wise lives.  

The Other PHOTO: The faces of the people in Budapest still haunt me.  So sullen.  So sad.  So striking.  The distrust of Communism still runs through the Danube River.  They are not a free people.  God raise them up to be like the father running for joy to his sons.