March 31 ... I Samuel 15 - 17 "Five Smooth Stones"

I Samuel 15:14  Samuel said, "So what's this I'm hearing—this bleating of sheep, this mooing of cattle?"  (Instead of doing what God asked, Saul saved a few sheep to offer sacrifices to God.  Makes me think of how we (in the church) blame things on God.  God told me to do this .... . God doesn't want sacrifices.  He wants you to listen. I Samuel 16:7   This is not about how good our lives look. "God looks into the heart."

Meanwhile Goliath was taunting the troops of God-Alive.  Not a good idea.  I Samuel 17:47 God doesn't save by means of sword or spear. My battle belongs to God."  So pick up 5 smooth stones, I Samuel 17:40,  and watch what God will do.  Immeasurable Strength.  Unshakeable Hope.  5 smooth stones will kill the10-foot giants in my life, in your life. God delivers.  The truth is God-Alive is in me. God-Alive is in you. Our Great High Priest is at work in us this very morning. Do I hear the bleating of sheep in my life?  God-Alive is there to fight our battles.


My prayer is that we all listen to the word of God.  Your words were found and I ate them and they became the joy of my heart. Jer. 15:16. 

March 30 ... I Samuel 13 - 14 "Appointment with God"

1 Samuel 13:12-14  Saul answered, "When I saw I was losing my army from under me, and that you hadn't come when you said you would, and that the Philistines were poised to attack...I hadn't yet come before God asking for help.  So I took things into my own hands, and sacrificed the burnt offering."   "That was a fool thing to do," Samuel said to Saul. "If you had kept the appointment that your God commanded...God is out looking for your replacement right now." How sad.  So what keeps us from missing that appointment with God this day?  

I love Jonathan's faith!  Saul had 600 soldiers with him.  Jonathan asks his armor-bearer in I Samuel 14:6-7  to go with him to the Philistine camp. "Maybe God will work for us. There's no rule that says God can only deliver by using a big army. No one can stop God from saving when he sets his mind to it."   His armor bearer said, "Go ahead. Do what you think best. I'm with you all the way."
  
They killed only 20 soldiers that day, BUT they actually grew Saul's army from 600 to 10,000.  That is simply amazing!  God did it for Jonathan and his faithful armor-bearer. So inviting. Not for Saul though---Saul kept conscripting every strong and brave man he saw, using people. 


Our 66LL devo says it this way:  "When things go wrong in your life, or when you fear they might, you'll be tempted to sacrifice ethics for pragmatism."  The story of Saul.  "You'll hear your heart asking, what will work to make things better?  You'll not as clearly hear yourself asking, what is holy in this situation that will please the Lord?"


Did you make that appointment with God today?

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March 29 ... I Samuel 9 - 12 "We Have A King"

I Samuel 11:13  "So here's the king you wanted, the king you asked for. God has let you have your own way."  Why did they want a king? They already had a King. Why do we want someone to follow?  Why do people gravitate to those who are successful?  God is a gentleman---He won't force Himself on us.  If we want to walk by sight, not by faith, He lets us choose the path

I Samuel 10:6 - You'll be transformed when you follow God.  You'll be a new person.  And if we are aren't being transformed, then we have to ask ourselves if we are following God's calling.  Saul moved quickly to follow God but found himself hiding in verse 22 in a pile of baggage.  I wonder why.  Don't chase after ghost-gods.  What would be a ghost-god to us today?  Success in ministry or raising children.  Ambition that leads to making a name for ourselves.  Wonder why our culture adores celebrities, even Christian ones.  We are such a celebrity-conscious community. 

   

March 28 ... I Samuel 4 - 8 "Raise My Ebenezer"

1 Samuel 7:12 - Samuel took a single rock and set it upright between Mizpah and Shen. He named it "Ebenezer" (Rock of Help), saying, "This marks the place where God helped us."  God answered Samuel.  I Samuel 4:10 says that the Philistines had just thrashed Israel so mercilessly that the Israelites ran for their lives, leaving 30,000 soldiers dead.  I can't wrap my mind around that big of a problem.  I'm lost in my own little world of problems.  I'll remember this week for a long time.  Stuck but not forgotten by God.  God is changing the way I relate that is committed to my own well-being at others cost and that's not right.  Changing my motives to want to live holy.  There are absolutes in the midst of my storm.  Unshakeable Truths.  Unrelenting Truths.  What anchors you in the midst of your storm?  I don't know a lot but this I know...God has met me this weekend in the midst of my loss and emptiness. I don't know how He makes shifts in our souls but it happened somehow.  He lifted my head up.  Psalm 3:3.  I've been so frustrated this week with my responses to a difficult situation. There's a quote in 66 LL:  "Your frustration with everything, including yourself, makes it possible to turn in deeper dependence to Me.   Your haunting sense of futility shuts you up to a kind of endurance that can be sustained only with hope in My Son's return."  So, I raise my Ebenezer, marking a good place, for I so need His Help. 

March 27 ... I Samuel 1 - 3 "Valuing Relationships over Disadvantages"

 I Samuel 1:17  Eli answered Hannah, "Go in peace. And may the God of Israel give you what you have asked of him."  And in the next verse, Hannah went her way and this emaciated childless woman ate heartily and worshiped God.  Her face now radiant.  No more controlled by her circumstances. No more.  The decision was in God's lap.  I have thought about this verse constantly since I read it April 2008.  Probably because I was facing a lot of pain and wondered what to do with it.  Hannah cried inconsolably, embracing her pain, and finding her God in the midst of it. His agenda for Samuel to be His not hers.  She worshiped before she knew she was pregnant.  And her immense joy---bursting with God-news--- is recorded not at Samuel's birth but at Samuel's dedication to her LORD.  I Samuel 2 - "I'm walking on air.  I'm dancing my salvation. The weak are infused with fresh strength.  God puts poor people back on their feet again.  God rekindles burned-out lives with fresh hope."  Hannah believed God and "valued relationships over her disadvantage."  Her faith allowed her to walk through this.  I went through 7 years of infertility, inconsolable at times.  Maybe that's why I am so drawn to Hannah.  I lost 6 babies to miscarriage.  God was so good to me to help me deal with the fray of my demanding heart---so wanting children.  I mistakenly thought that children would fill my empty heart.  My agenda.  I didn't hear myself clearly asking, "What is holy in this situation that will please the LORD?"  I am indebted to a Mighty God for pulling me through and showing me what was in my heart.

So disturbed to hear about Eli's impact on his children.  It looked to me like he was asking his children a good question about where they were.  God was looking at his heart not the outward appearance of looking good.  May we all deal with those things He is stirring today in the fray of our hearts.  Truth settling down deep in our innermost being. Psalm 51:6

March 26 ... Ruth 1 - 4 "Shattered Dreams---Opportunity for New Level of Trust"

Ruth 1:16 Ruth said:  "Don't make me go home...where you go, I'll go, your God will be my God."  Ruth's heart showed the value of the privilege of knowing God and letting Him change her more than valuing what God can give me or do for me. 

I sit here tonight in the middle of a depression.  Not a familiar place for me for me to be so low.  The meds I take cause depression.  But added to that was an incident yesterday that rocked my world.  I don't want to be swayed like that by my circumstances.  So, I ask for prayer that "God reach into my heart with His Power to form me into someone who values Him above every one and every thing."  66 LL. "He is determined to reverse my values."  Your God will be my God. 

There are 2 intractable obstacles, among many, from the Book of Ruth that God must overcome to make me holy:
1. Natural Disadvantages.  Is it more important to me to overcome than my unholy value system?
2. Shattered Dreams.  Am I so focused on my pain that I cannot see new opportunities for new levels of trust.?
As I sit struggling in this funk of shattered dreams, can I dream a new dream?

March 25 ... Judges 19 - 21 "Sheer Wonder"

Judges 21:25  "At that time there was no king in Israel. People did whatever they felt like doing."  What a disturbing reading about this concubine that so brings up for me my own rape where I was left on the threshhold of my door passed out for several hours.  Did they ever repent? Did I repent?  The rape wasn't my fault even though I thought it was for years.  Not my fault.  What I did with it was my fault. And praise God, He has set me free to forgive and love and leave justice in His Hands.  Even if there was a king, there may be restraints on their behavior but no restraint in their hearts, the Israelites never repented.  It was best-behavior Christianity if the kings are around. .  What does real repentance look like?  God has to get in us and pour His Love into my heart---Romans 5:5---so that His motives reach deeper inside of me (66 LL) than my motives for a good stable joyful life here.   So what lingers with you as we close the book of Judges?  I've thought a lot about how they really didn't repent but did what they felt was right.  They missed God!  Also, I've thought about the kings who "were longing for a better country, a heavenly one." Heb. 11: 16.  And some of these kings and prophets administered justice and became powerful in battle, attached to their God.  Heb 11:34 says:  "their weakness was turned to strength."  Oooh...that's my prayer for all of us!  I see some weaknesses in my life this night as I engaged a little bit ago in a heated discussion over trivial stuff that I should not have entertained. I hurt my son over it.  I don't want to look bad.  I hurt tonight over what I did. But do I hate sin more than suffering?  I will hold close to my heart the words on page 30:  "My plan is to change you from the INSIDE OUT, to change your motives and to change your impact on people so that how you relate to others, like my Son, will make them thirsty for Me and will draw them into desperate, grateful dependence on Me."  I met Beth Moore one time (actually I have met her like 5 times but she doesn't know me) and the first time I met her, I said two sentences to her about what was going on in my life.  Her response was:  "Your desperation is a gift.  God has yanked you by the hair on your head out of your situation, Ezekiel 8:3."  She had no idea that it was like "Sheer Wonder" (Judges 13:18) to me---like an angel speaking. Those 2 words have caught my heart. For God was changing my motives, my impact.  He still is! So what lingers with you from Judges?

March 24 ... Judges 16 - 18 "Repentance"

Judges 17:6  "In those days there was no king in Israel.  People did whatever they felt like doing."  Sounds like where we live.  Not that much Christian leadership. Isn't everyone sort of free to do whatever they feel like doing, just about?  A very good friend of mine is battling serious health issues with cancer that have interrupted her life. I went to see her last week and walked away from her presence thinking about one word.  Repent.  She talked about it in such an inviting way.  No condemnation there.  Made me want to repent.  And that's what I keep mulling over as I continue to read through Judges and stories like Samson.  The Israelites did not repent.  Maybe sometimes their behavior looked like they were moving toward God with baby steps.  We do see the outcome of their lives.  You don't keep on living a life of sin---you don't want to!   I am so grateful for a person in my life who has helped me discern what it means to repent and truly live, to really love. I was confused just like the Galatians with my epxectations of feeling everything I wanted to feel in this fallen world, as Larry says. I worked hard not to feel unloved, unnoiticed, uncared for. There are parts of me today that is so free from that and some parts still struggling through. It seems the Chrisitan world I live in is way too focused on the good life here. People don't say to me----except Larry and some of you reading this---what is holy in this situation you are in?....no, they are asking me what can we do to get out of the cancer or to help our children who are failing in some area or to restore a relationship? What will make our lives work? Is that working for you? That's where most people are and it's God Who is knocking on our hearts to make every one of us holy. Everybody always wants to know how I am doing with my cancer---I want to answer: Am I hating my sin more than my suffering? But I don't. I just tell them where I am.  I wonder why. So many people aren't talking about their unholiness but rather how they are overcomers. Do you think deeply about how unholy you are? I'm a mess. And praise God, that's what Easter is all about! He is committed to my holiness at any cost to Him or me.

March 23 ... Judges 13 - 15 "Struggle Well with His Energy" Col 1:29

Judges 13:25 The Spirit of God came on Samson to work in him mightily.  So what resulted in his life?  Tantalized by women, he gave in. What about in my own life?  Do I see God working?  Do I give in to the status quo?  So reminds me of Col. 1:29 that it is Christ that is powerfully at work in us. It's not about our mustering up the strength to live and love.  Not about pulling ourselves up by the bootstraps. Life even isn't about us becoming overcomers.  It's not even about enduring to the end with courage.  "We can't mistake dependence for love."  Do we really love Him?  That's Christ's question to Peter in the book of John ... "do you love Me"  "do you love Me"  do you love Me?" We can only trust His Love in the midst of our problems.  Repent.  "His motives are now in you; you can impact others." It's the wrong motives that spoils our impact.  I may be the sweetest kindest person ever with wrong motives.  I may be giving and compassionate and sacrificial with wrong motives. My prayer for all of us today is Col 1:29 - May we struggle well with His Energy which so powerfully works in us. 

March 22 ... Judges 10 - 12 "Slow of Heart to Believe the Prophets"

Judges 10:7 - "They just walked off and left God, quit worshiping him. And God exploded in hot anger at Israel."  I never realized that what I was doing for so many years was forgetting God, walking off in my mind.  I mean, I thought I had Him center stage.  It looked that way.  But my heart was set on protecting myself from so much pain.  There's something I wanted more than His Love.  I wanted to be released from my pain. I distanced myself in my heart from God and from people.  I think I've embraced more pain in the past four years than most of my adult life.  It's not about the pain.  It's all about Him and knowing Him more.  Walking off from God.  No more worship.  Isn't that really Luke 24:25 being "slow of heart to believe the prophets."  Do we really believe what these Old Testament prophets are telling us that holds true for this day, this moment, this place in our lives?  If I'm slow of heart, God is inviting me to repent.  And all that I don't understand about this chapter of this book, this chapter of my life, God will open my mind someday to understand.  So, in the midst of some confusion, loneliness, suffering, joy, peace and blessings we put our hands to the plow and trust---whatever that means.  And my prayer for you is Luke 24:45, please God, "open our minds to understand the Scriptures."  Thank you so much!

March 21 ... Judges 8 - 9 "Forgot about God"

Judges 8:34 -  "The People of Israel forgot all about God, their God, who had saved them from all their enemies who had hemmed them in."  Amazing.  My first two decades of walking with God, I think that I forgot about Him way more than I would admit whether it was good times or bad times. Was I afraid of losing the good Christian life more than losing an intimate relationship with God?  I think I did believe that the good Chrisitan life was my greatest good.  "Only when people look deeply into themselves will they truly repent." 66 LL.  Four years ago, I began looking way more deeply into the fray of my heart rather than blaming my world for all that happened to me.  My story no longer defined me.  My heart was exposed for my repentance had been so shallow.  I could go through a day forgetting about my God Who had rescued me again and again and saved me from multiple enemies that hemmed me in.  No more!  I can't help but think about Him and long to be the woman He has created me to be and look deeply withn.  "This new life is starting right now, and is whetting our appetites for the Glorious Day."  Titus 2:13.  Every moment offers a brand new start, brand new mercies.  

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March 20 ... Judges 6 - 7 "God is with You, Mighty Warrior"

Judges 6:12  God appeared to Gideon and said, "God is with you, O mighty warrior!"  This so speaks to me that God calls frightful Gideon a mighty warrior.  A vision painted for this guy who knew those things were not coming from a good place in his heart.  Gideon replies in verse 13: "With me, my master? If God is with us, why has all this happened to us? Where are all the miracle-wonders our parents and grandparents told us about...I'm the weakest, I'm the runt of the litter." Sounds like Gideon wanted the good life here. God is about to change the motives of the mighty warrior.  The next 6 words from God make me want to stand tall:  "I'll be with you.  Believe Me..." (6:16).  And God proceeded to help Gideon learn to trust Him by reducing his army to 300---all the rest may go home....and Gideon went before God to his knees in prayer.  May the Truths that we read sink deeply into our repentant hearts (Psalm 51:6).  May we learn to think deeper than just the behavior we see.  Learning to live in the tension of what we see and what really is.  Finding a deeper trust in a good God in the midst of His Plan for each of us.  What is God doing that is reducing what I've trusted in?  "Oh for Grace to trust Him more..."  You Mighty Warriors!

March 19 ... Judges 3 - 5 "You Must Meet God Yourself"

Judges 3:4 "They were there to test Israel and see whether they would obey God's commands that were given to their parents through Moses."  And the next verse says:  the people of Israel made themselves at home.  Do I make myself at home in this world wanting way-too-much of the "good life."  Not wanting to suffer through another trauma, not wanting to endure when people don't respond like I think they should, not wanting to go unnoticed this day.  Just wanting things to be normal, a good life to honor God and be at peace.  What am I asking for?  Can God do less?  Six times in this passage, God "records that in His Anger He took away the good life the people were enjoying." (Judges 3:8)  But, "wrath is not my bottom line."  66 LL.  Heb 12:10 says "God is doing what is best for us, training us to live God's holy best."  I am so taken with looking at His holiness and my unholiness.  His Hope for me and for you as He reveals my motives.  So that the ways that I love my husband, my children, my family, my world is the Way He loves.  May I repent of what is there that wants to use God --- Crabb calls it "well-disguised motivation" for God to do what I want.  He must increase and I must decrease.  I loved it when Crabb said that your terror of misery is not sin but it's what drives me above all to secure the blessings of life for myself which is sinful.  I think I've thought that kind of terror was sin.  I really need people like you guys to walk with me to help me discern life and for your very lives expose my heart and offer grace and kindness and love.  There's so much I don't get in all of this.  But I've got Him.  I've got you.  And I'm so grateful!  A friend wrote to me today..."you must meet God yourself." 

March 18 .. "Stay on God's Road" Judges 1 - 2

Judges 1 - "But then God raised up judges who saved them from their plunderers. But they wouldn't listen to their judges; they prostituted themselves to other gods—worshiped them! They lost no time leaving the road walked by their parents, the road of obedience to God's commands. They refused to have anything to do with it...

Judge 2 - "I'll use them to test Israel and see whether they stay on God's road and walk down it as their parents did."

Stay on God's road and walk down it...



Words like plunderers and prostitutes always make me cringe. And yet God sees our turning away as prostituting ourselves to other gods. Which god will I serve today? If I'm not serving God, I'm prostituting myself against Him. I choose this day to commit my life as Joshua did:   "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord."

March 17 ... Joshua 22 - 24 "Hate Sin More than Suffering"

Joshua 22:3 - Shoulder the task God has laid on you.  As I carry out the mission that God has called me to, what happens inside of my heart?  Just like the altar built to face the Promised Land....looks good, looks bad,  but is it really?  As we end the book of Joshua, what lingers with you?  I think of how we all need to be rescued from our sin, from ourselves.  And if we honestly face what's going on inside of us, the severity of what's wrong, we will see the wonder and enormity of what God must do (66 Love Letters).  That so gives me hope.  We all live with ourselves. Can I learn a tiny bit more at this bump in my path to hate sin more than suffering.    Joshua does leave me with a call to fight the enemy within me, my flesh, that so wars against reason.  Fight the right battles.  And I need help to do that---can't do it on my own without the help of the Holy Spirit and the help of others to discern what wars in my heart.  The quote "no man is an island" pops into my head.   Am I fighting the right battles this day in my life?  On my way to talk to a friend who will help me discern.  Someone who is so alive in God not just committed to grow a ministry or church... but to let God rescue me to grow in Him. Grow in the grace and knowledge of the Mystery of His Love no matter how much present pain or confusion or questions or responses. Oh the intriguing Wonder and beckoning Love of our God Who is calling us, wooing us, and growing us.

March 16 ... Joshua 19 - 21 "Spirit of Entitlement and Jealousy"

Joshua 21:45 - "Not one word failed from all the good words God spoke to the house of Israel. Everything came out right."  The Israelites lived from hideous plagues to wandering in a wilderness to ferocious battles.  The Promised Land was a place of victory in the midst of their mess and conquests.  God gave rest on every side in midst of their enemies who didn't loom large enough anymore.  I hope my enemies are losing ground.  He has already defeated them!  Pay close attention to what is happening in my heart as I struggle.  66 Love Letters: "A spirit of entitlement and jealousy will plague you until you die. You'll need discernment to identify it, recognize it as wrong, and know how to navigate your way through it."  I keep thinking about how it tripped up Joshua.  Seems like so much emphasis in the Christian life is on changing our behavior---our lack of patience, our anger, our fears.  But does God free us from those things or in the midst of that behavior as we discern what's really wrong in the fray of our hearts.  So where do we find this discernment to not miss the grace of a Good God?  Jonah 2:8.  So grateful for friends who look deeply into their hearts and help me see into mine.  So grateful to "Another Counselor" who comes to us every day to discern the matters of our hearts.  Right in the midst of our struggles, our pain, our confusion, live in the present in Mystery of His Love, broken not better before our God Who is making everything come out right in our lives according to His Plan.  Not One Word will fail.  .

March 15 ... Joshua 16 - 18 "Not without Pain, but without Stain"

 Joshua 16:10 "But they didn't get rid of the Canaanites who were living in Gezer."  God said He would eliminate the Canaanites for them.  The Israelites chose to tolerate the Canaanites and put them to forced labor.  Not enough.  Not right.  I've misunderstood the Promised Land for a land flowing with milk and honey and no conflicts.  No battles there.  Yet, they waged war battling kings who were giants in stature and strength, literally.  Living in the Promised Land was no piece of cake like I thought it would be, should be.  Wonder if I think my life would be better if my circumstances were removed this day...and friends and family treated me a little better?  One verse gives some insight as to why the Israelites wouldn't move in the direction of God's call to each of them.  Fear.  They were afraid of "iron chariots."  Wonder what ideas I hold this day that God will expose as my iron chariot?  And I just love that Joshua stood up to the Israelites and said in Joshua 18:3  "How long are you going to sit around on your hands, putting off taking possession of the land that God, the God of your ancestors, has given you? Pick three men from each tribe so I can commission them."  Joshua got their hands and hearts moving in a good direction.   Without vision and leadership, the people perish. Face it. There will be pain in the battles we face.  "God Who foresaw your tribulation, has specifically armed you to go through it, not without pain but without stain."  C.S. Lewis

March 14 ... Joshua 12 - 15 "Never Mistake Canaan for Heaven"

Joshua 14:14 A portion of the Promised Land belongs to Caleb because he gave himself totally to God, the God of Israel.. "I'm as strong as ever in battle, whether coming or going."  40 years since the wilderness and he's still battling well the inner battles and the outer battles.  Giving himself totally to his God meant "letting go" of his demands that Canaan be heaven on earth.  When will the battles stop God?  A friend just asked me this week:  when can I have some rest---meaning:  when is God going to stop sending all these conflicts and circumstances that deter my peace. I face the same daily wrestle within. Is peace only when the circumstances are removed, resolved, recessed?  Problems solved.  Yes, Caleb and the Israelites had peace on all sides but it involved "exhuasting battle and humbling failure" (66 Love Letters.).   And it wasn't the resolution of their problems. A trouble free life.  It was peace in the midst of pressure and a hard life.Giving themselves totally to their God Who is working all things together for good. So what results in my life when I face the battles within and without?   Learning to live in a little more rest in the midst of disturbing news once again. 

March 13 ... Joshua 9 - 11 "Your Worst Enemy is You"

Joshua 9:14 ^"The men of Israel looked them over and accepted the evidence. But they didn't ask God about it."  Joshua even made a covenant with them to guarantee their lives.  But they were enemies who happened to live next door.  "Never mistake the enemies in Canaan for only those things that are wrong in the world around you...your worst enemy is in you." (66 Love Letters).  Wonder what was going on inside of Joshua's heart that he didn't ask God about it?  Wonder what is going on in my heart this day where I might be ignoring God?  Maybe a little disinterested.  Maybe a little detached.  But Joshua dealt with the fray of his heart and he came out fighting the right battles.  I love Joshua 10:12 "The day God gave the Amorites up to Israel, Joshua spoke to God, with all Israel listening:
   "Stop, Sun, over Gibeon;
   Halt, Moon, over Aijalon Valley."
   And Sun stopped,
   Moon stood stock still
   Until he defeated his enemies.
Joshua 10:14 - There's never been a day like that before or since—God took orders from a human voice! That's amazing!  And Joshua "didn't leave incomplete one thing that God had commanded Moses." Here's an extremely deadline-driven hard worker but the story ends today with Joshua never being too busy anymore to follow and love his God.

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March 12 ... Joshua 5 - 8 "Fight the Right Battles"

The conflicts in the Promised Land begin.  But the real conflict is within them and you and me.  Within.  66 Love Letters:  "Loving Me and becoming holy requires that you realize there is an enemy within you who will cause you more trouble than all the enemies outside you, than even the devil."  Are we fighting the right battles? Fight the good fight.  Finish the race.  Keep the faith.  2 Tim 4:7.  Do we hate what is opposed to God?  I've so been surprised this week at the tone of my voice in dealing with some issues with friends---I've so wanted to make my point with grace.  Not right with God. 

Joshua's men couldn't defeat Ai.  Was Joshua concerned for God's reputation or his own?  "Maybe we should have stayed on the east side of the Jordan," said Joshua.  God says: "Get up!  Why are you groveling?"  Purify your people.  Purify yourself.  Praise God that His Holy Spirit does that for us. He is so Good!  I've been groveling today over an incident.  But I've been at war in my heart over the injustice and distance that it caused in my kid.  But what about dealing with the fray of my own heart?  I've been so concerned about what this look like to others rather than trusting God to accomplish His plan of Love through this most difficult situation.  And His Plan of Love requires "hating everything in you that is opposed to Me, everything about you that wants someone or something besides Me to have first place in your life.  You'll need help discerning what that is."  I've finally found a couple of trusted friends who help me discern what really is going on inside of me.  Do you know how you come across?  Do you know what you leave people with?  It will involve "exhausting battle and humbling failure" to wage that war.  May you find help in discerning His Plan of Love for you.  Make sure you are fighting the right battles. Achan preferred "blessings to battle."  Fight the good fight. Finish your race.  Keep the faith.

March 11 ... Joshua 1 - 4 "Hate Sin More than Suffering"

Joshua 1 - "Get going. Cross this Jordan River to the country I'm giving to the People of Israel.  In the same way I was with Moses, I'll be with you. I won't give up on you; I won't leave you. Strength! Courage! Don't get off track.  Don't let this Book of The Revelation be out of mind. Ponder and meditate on it day and night, making sure you practice everything written in it. Then you'll get where you're going; then you'll succeed. Haven't I commanded you? Strength! Courage! Don't be timid; don't get discouraged. God, your God, is with you every step you take."  Wonder what Joshua felt as he took over the job from his mentor whom God had just buried?  Cross the river in a battle formation. God will pile the waters in a heap.  No wet feet.  Amazing!  Only God can do that!  So, take a stone as a memory of that moment. Is this how they wanted to receive the Promised Land?  The Israelites sounded like they will obey fully but is it really from a good place in their hearts---we know the results predicted by God.  More battles.  More suffering.  The battle will reveal what's really going on in their hearts.  The title of the next chapter in 66 Love Letters is:  Learn to hate sin more than suffering.  Do I really hate sin more than the suffering God has allowed in my life?   I'm in the midst of some pretty fresh suffering.  How can I learn to hate my sin more?

March 10 ... Deuteronomy 32 - 34 "Your Words Fall Like Rain on Thirsty Hearts"

"Take to heart all these words to which I give witness today and urgently command your children to put them into practice, every single word of this Revelation. Yes. This is no small matter for you; it's your life."  Deut 32:46.  This passage has meant much to me over the past three decades.  It is deeply touching to me to read it in context written by a dying man who trusted his Good God even though he wasn't being allowed to cross into the Promised Land.  Moses' last song comes from such good places in his heart steadfast on trusting his God Who has not satisfied Moses with what he wanted as he nears his final breath.  And "no prophet has risen since like this man." It's not a punitive judment of God---it's a passionate judgment.  So, isn't this really about living for First Things not Second Things?  As we close the pages of Deuteronomy, what lingers in your heart?  For me, there is no "Plan B" for Moses nor for any of us. The question this day is not: How can I get a better life in the Promised Land (and remember, God, it was a promise!).  No, the question really is:  How can I love my good God in my situation?  And my prayer for each of you this day is found in the most beautiful inaugual words of this song in Deut 32:2 where Moses stood on a mountain witnessing what he could not have and humbly spoke words of life.  The words fell then and now like rain on thirsty hearts. My prayer for you:  May the words you give to others, your teaching, fall like a gentle rain on tender hearts.  May they arrive like morning dew, like sprinkling rain on new grass.  And may those who listen to you this day and forevermore respond to the greatness of your good God!

March 9 ... Deuteronomy 30 - 31 "What Deeply Encourages Me"

Deuteronomy 30:4 No matter how far away you end up, God has compassion and He will get you out of there.  I ended up pretty way out far in my 20's.  I remember kneeling in a little chapel on my wild university campus the night of my 21st birthday---I was half drunk.  He got me out!  It took a while.  Little by Little.  He will cut away thick calluses off my heart.  Still is doing just that.  Hold nothing back 30:10.  Live exuberantly 30:16.  Choose life.  Listen obediently.  He won't let you down.  Be strong.  Take courage.  He's not the one leaving.  I spent way too much of my Christian life pulling myself up by my bootstraps.  What does it look like to live holy in my situation this day?  What does it look like to love?  Look at Moses.  He is about to die knowing that the legacy he is going to leave is going to rebel pitifully.  God just told him.  What you've spent your last 40 years wandering in a wilderness for is not going to happen and furthermore, the people you lead (31:18) will rebel.  And God says He will hide His Face from them because of all their wickedness in turning to other gods.  Don't be discouraged Moses as you face your own death---you don't enter the Promised Land and you don't leave a people full of faith because of your leadership.  So what encouraged Moses?  His relationship with His Deliverer, His Healer, His King, His Blessed Assurance, His Sovereign, His Rescuer, His Friend, His Lover, His Mighty Strong Good God.  31:6 - "Be Strong.  Take Courage.  He will never leave you."

March 8 ... Deuteronomy 28 - 29 "Committed to my Well-Being"

Deuteronomy 29:29 - God will take care of the hidden things but the revealed things are our business.  So we are called to attend to all the words of the Revelation.  Listen to His Voice.  He has called us to a covenant relationship.  Restless hearts in Deut 28 are those who are out for their own well being---they even eat their own babies.  Unbelievable!  But you and I have seen with our own eyes what God has done for us, like in 29:2.  Massive trials. He is committed to our good.  Attend to His Word.  He is changing the way we relate.  Like the Israelites, we have been committed to our own well-being at any cost to our family, our friends.  This covenant calls us to be givers not takers and that doesn't happen overnight.  Sanctification in the wilderness is slow.  But this we know.  Our God is with us.  Ever Present.  And He is committed to making us like Him.  Attend to His Word---it is our oxygen.

March 7 ... Deuteronomy 24 - 27 "Remember"

Deuteronomy 24:22 "Don't ever forget that you were a slave in Egypt."  Five times God said it.  Remember life before the Exodus from Egypt. Remember how you promised to love and obey (Exodus 19:8).  Remember what He has brought you from.  "The real Exodus made it possible for My Spirit to circumcise people's hearts, to incline people to love Me, even when I don't satisfy them, because they have hope in My character." 66 Love Letters. Through it all, God is inclining our hearts to love Him even when our world is coming apart at the seams.  I am learning a lttle better to live in the tension of what I see and what the Truth really is.  Faithful is He Who called us and He will do it! (I Thes 5.24)

March 6 ... Deuteronomy 21 - 23 "Bring Me out of the Bad into Something Good"

Deuteronomy 20 - Purge the evil among you.  The rules and regulations have become insurmountable, impenetrable, un-doable.  These people have walked through 40 years and do they get what this is all about?  So what's life?  Four years ago this January, we received some news that floored and flattened me in a not-so-good way.  I lost hope.  I didn't know which way to go.  Didn't know what to do.  Didn't know who was right.  But I know that He "brought me out of something bad (my own fault, my own sin) to bring me into something good before I experienced that something good." (66 Love Letters)   It took almost one year before I experienced anything good.  He is "faithful to the faithless."  And so I sit four years down the road...a lot of my circumstances haven't really changed but oh how I praise Him that my heart is new and alive.  More in love with Him than ever---even more than last month.  It's not about the better life anymore, but it is about how we can love God in the places we sit this day.   I'm probably more of a mess as I deal with my depravity. But, I am a glorious mess that is more in love with my beautiful God and that's it!

March 5 ... Deuteronomy 17 - 20 "Fighting to Win"

Deuteronomy 20: 1-4  "When you go to war against your enemy and see horses and chariots and soldiers far outnumbering you, do not recoil in fear of them; God, your God, who brought you up out of Egypt is with you. When the battle is about to begin, let the priest come forward and speak to the troops. He'll say, "Attention, Israel. In a few minutes you're going to do battle with your enemies. Don't waver in resolve. Don't fear. Don't hesitate. Don't panic. God, your God, is right there with you, fighting with you against your enemies, fighting to win."  I needed to hear this word.  Our friend Merry Nell passed away yesterday peacefully in her fight against breast cancer.  She shared this verse with me one time.  Something inside of me wants to panic that it could happen to me---our group leader is gone.  Don't panic. God, my God is right here with me, fighting to win.

March 4 ... Deuteronomy 14 - 16 "Stingy Hearts"

Deuteronomy 14:10-11 - "Give freely and spontaneously. Don't have a stingy heart. The way you handle matters  triggers your God's blessing in everything you do. There are always going to be poor and needy people among you. So I command you: Always be generous, open purse and hands, give to your neighbors in trouble, your poor and hurting neighbors."  These verses tug at me today and they sit in a context of a thousand things to do or maybe a hundred. Impossible to live in that culture. Impossible to live in this culture except only by the Resurrection Power that He provides for every activity of life. Colossians 1:29. So, how do I handle matters? Do I take them in my own hands today? What would it look like to live a surrendered life today?

March 3 ... Deuteronomy 11 - 13 "Words Deep Inside of You"

Deuteronomy 11:18 - "Get the words deep inside of you."  Deut 13:4 - "God is testing you.  Hold on to Him for dear life."  I thought all yesterday about Deut 8 - God led you on this road for those forty years in the wilderness, pushing you to your limits, testing you and showing us what's in our heart whether we will obey Him or not---my sin has so surprised me today.  Wonder if Moses continually dealt with sin over not entering the Promised Land.  He seems to have dealt with his disappointment in such a beautiful way!  Moses knows this is his last sermon forever.  He's been with these people for 40 years. God tells him they won't make it after he dies. How does this pastor deal with their unresponsive hearts?  He is looking into their faces. No one has ever seen their own face. Listen when others speak who read your face every day.  66 Love Letters:  "I brought you out of something bad to bring you into something good before you experience that something good. Then, your love is sustained by confidence in My Character, not by enjoyment of current blessings."  He brought us out to bring us in - Deut 6:23. Moses last words send a message that even in his own disappointment, Moses never stopped looking to God Who did things differently than Moses wanted. Moses sang His Praises even while disappointed:  "Through It All, I've Learned to Trust in Jesus."  What am I doing with my disappointments in life?

March 2 ... Deuteronomy 8 - 10 "Follow the Road"

Deuteronomy 10:13 - "Live in his presence in holy reverence, follow the road he sets out for you, love him, serve God, your God, with everything you have in you, obey the commandments and regulations of God that I'm commanding you today—live a good life."  I'm seeing more and more in my thoughts and actions how I long to walk on the road that I think is a good one.  One lane filled with successful ministry. A diverging path filled with faithful friends.  A highway of children obedient to the truth. A road full of success.  I don't want to not be noticed. What am I dealing with? Ambition?  Do I want to be noticed more by my God than by my world?  Because one Truth that is all over today's reading is that God is crossing the River before we do to take care of us and invite us to follow.  But, the Truth is, it is not because of how good we are (Deut 9:6).